My 3 Muses

The Story of Meeting My Sweetest

2012-02-11T17:24:00.001-05:00

Memories

2012-02-05T13:41:00.001-05:00

Me, Crazy Cousin and Nonni

The kids had fun spending time with my parents this weekend. It brought back memories of my own grandparents. Until I was 8 or 9 years old I spent just about every Friday night sleeping over my Gram and Poppy's (my Dad's parents.) My Mom would drop me off to my Gram at work on Friday afternoons. Gram worked as a secretary for the Board of Ed and she was so proud to show me off to her co-workers and friends! Then we would go home and see Poppy.

We had our weekend routine. On Friday night Gram would go to Bingo and Poppy and I would go grocery shopping. I loved getting to help fill the cart and he always let me pick out whatever junk foods I wanted. Then we would go to McDonalds and get Happy Meals and head home to watch The Dukes of Hazzard. I know for sure there were shows Poppy would rather have watched. Probably anything else. But, he knew I loved Bo and Luke Duke and the General Lee so every Friday night we watch "our show." When Gram got home from Bingo we would have ice cream. It was a late night treat. They always had ice cream, always. It was the Breyers chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry combo. So you could pick 1, 2 or 3 flavors and then Gram would let me pour as much chocolate syrup and whip cream as I wanted. I stayed up until I was tired and slept as late as I wanted in the morning. Then Poppy would make me french toast for breakfast and I spent most of the day in jammies watching tv. Gram got a cable box way sooner than my parents or friends. So she had tons of channels to choose from, I loved it!

More often than not I would end staying over on Saturday nights. And when my brother was old enough he would usually come over on Saturdays too. In the afternoon Poppy and I would go church. I remember kneeling in the pews of that old cathedral and thinking how much I loved spending time with him. I knew it was special. I can still smell his Old Spice aftershave that he wore just for church. I remember being 6 years old and watching Poppy receive the Eucharist and I was determined to have that for myself. I was so proud the first Saturday after my First Communion when I could finally get the Eucharist with Poppy!

On Saturday nights we played games. Gram taught us to play pinnacle and poker and Go Fish. She would bring out all of her nickels that she kept in a big jar and we could use the money to make bets. Looking back now I can't help but laugh at that!! They had a snack cabinet filled with all "sugar cereals" that my brother loved. Gram would let him fill a salad bowl with cereal and pour as much milk as he wanted. He would eat coco puffs and fruity pebbles and frosted flakes all mixed together. It was all the cereals my mom never bought so the weekend at Gram's was extra special! She also kept a large supply of Fig Newtons and packs of gum. My mom couldn't stand gum chewing or chomping as she always said. But, Gram didn't mind. And she didn't get mad when I would get it stuck in my very long hair. One time she spent a good part of the afternoon combing gum out of my hair and using peanut butter to try to salvage as many strands as possible so my hair wouldn't have be cut off. She was a determined lady for sure!

When we got older my brother and I still stayed over pretty often. My bother stayed especially close with Gram in his teens and 20's. During high school he and his friends would skip out of school and head to Gram's for lunch. We aren't sure if she realized they had left school without permission or if she bought the idea that the school let them out early. But, she was a smart lady and I have to believe she knew the truth and didn't admit to it because then she would have to make them go back to school. There was nothing Gram loved better than feeding people, so breaking the rules or not she was feeding those teenagers!

Most Sundays we went to Gram and Poppy's for dinner. Usually my brother and I were already there anyway so my parents would come over at dinner time and hang out too. Dinner always included pasta which was and is still my favorite. And always a meat. Gram was a carnivore for sure. She and my brother shared a love for steak! And she always reminded us not to fill up too much because we had to save room for dessert. Gram loved desserts, Poppy did too. I don't know how she stayed so thin, but she loved her desserts. I take after her in my love for sweets, just wish I had her petite figure too! One of Gram's greatest recipes was her Icebox Cake. Layers of pudding separated with graham crackers. Nothing quite compares to the perfection of gooey graham crackers and pudding. She would make it for Sunday gatherings and birthdays or have Poppy drop one off at our house if someone was sick. Years after Gram passed away I had my first miscarriage and I remember crying in bed and wishing I had some of her icebox cake. My Poppy heard about that request and showed up at my door with an Icebox Cake he made for me. I cannot explain what a healing balm that warm pudding cake was. After that I found the strength to get moving again.

Gram and Poppy are gone now. And sometimes I miss them so much. There are days that I think I might take ride over with the kids and visit. Then I remember they aren't there. I know Gram would have loved spoiling these little ones. Especially Luccio who is named for her.

I am grateful to still have my Nonni, my Mom's mom. I have always been very close to Nonni and used to spent a lot of time with her and Grampa when he was alive. I was very fortunate that my Mom stayed home to raise us so I had a lot of opportunity to spend time with my family even during the week. We went to Nonni's a lot. When I was very little we lived right next to her house and I went there daily. As I got older I still spent a lot of time with her. When I slept over she would take me and my Cousin Tracy aka Crazy Cousin to Bingo with her. Tracy and I are 9 months apart and growing up we were together a lot. We loved Bingo nights with Nonni. She used to take us Downtown too. Back when it was safe to ride on public transportation and hang out on the town green. We would shop and then feed the pigeons in the park. I remember Nonni brushing our hair and braiding it. Tracy and I used to complain because our hair was waist length and Nonni used a metal comb! But, she sure did know how to make the best ponytails!! And the best sauce in the world. NOTHING even comes close to Nonni's pasta sauce. There is no written recipe for it and she can show you how to make it but it never comes out quite the same way twice. My son Vincenzo loves his Nonni's sauce so much. Nothing makes an Italian great-grandmother prouder than watching her great-grandson enjoy her pasta.

When I was old enough I used go on trips to the Casino with Nonni and Grampa. We had such fun times! We would go with my mom or aunts and cousins, sometimes we would stay over. Grampa loved the Penny Machines! He really came alive at the Casino. At home he would often look like a little old man. He would snuggle on his couch and be content to sit in the background while all the women in our lives would chat around him. He was a man of few words. But, when he did have something to say it was always witty and had us laughing! When he stepped into the casino he was like a young man again and had such a spring to his step. I still remember his cute little smile and great sense of humor! One time I convinced him to go shopping with me at the Casino gift stores. He told me he didn't go to the Casino to shop, but then took a detour into one of the stores and bought me a beautiful Native American doll. He was so proud and it was such splurge, everything in those stores is so expensive but these dolls were just outrageously priced and he was like a little kid filled with happiness buying one for me! I still have that doll and cherish it so much. It reminds me of all the fun times I had with Grampa.

I have been so fortunate to have had Nonni there for my birth and still with me this year as I celebrated my 37th birthday. Now that I have my own daughter we are 4 generations of women when we are all together. I pray that we have more years together and that my children will have memories of her that they will carry with them and treasure.

It is funny the things that you remember and cherish as you grow older. Sometimes it is the slightest thing that will bring all of these wonderful moments flooding back. The smells, sights, tastes and sounds that stay with you forever. I love watching my children create new memories with their own grandparents, Stregga & Papa and Grandma & Papa. And I am so blessed to have had so many great years with my Gram, Poppy, Grampa and Nonni. Now I feel like making a pot of sauce and an icebox cake!

Princess Gun

2012-01-16T10:48:00.003-05:00

I tried not to overreact when Isabella aimed her Barbie at me and said, "Princess Gun!" I didn't know if I should laugh or reprimand, so I used the best known parenting strategy when you are caught in a jam - I ignored it. We don't encourage gun play or purchase gun related toys. But, it seems inevitable that guns, shooting, and all around weaponry finds it's way into the imaginative play of children. I used to think it was gender related. Boys can turn everything from a french toast stick to a baggie tie into a gun. Or as my boys call them~ their "shooters." They have some play swords with pirate costumes that they always make sound like machine guns even though they have never actually seen one. We monitor what they watch on tv and talk about why we don't believe in gun play. But, they are 5 year old boys and don't live in bubbles so they have exposure to fake guns. One friend showed up over the holidays with his new plastic shotgun. The boys loved it! They also love going to that friend's house because they have an arsenal of Nerf guns. They can't think of anything cooler than that! For Christmas, Cousin Justin moved up to favorite status when he bought the boys their first Nerf guns. They were overjoyed! We had to set up some ground rules like you only use them in the playroom, don't aim them at people, use objects as targets, etc. I was pleasantly surprised how well they followed the rules and it also encouraged them to actually be in their playroom which had been filled with wonderful and educational toys for the past 5 years, but basically overlooked and ignored. When they ask Hubby and I why we don't like guns we are honest about telling them that guns hurt people and they are not toys. But, at the end of the day they are kids. They enjoy playing. And as long as they are not hurting anyone, that has to be enough right now. We will love them, teach them about the dignity of human life, and hope for the best. And every once in awhile I have to give in to a bit of laughter when my beautiful, thoughtful little baby takes aim at me with her Princess Gun.

Wave of Awareness

2011-09-17T21:34:00.000-04:00

Our family is going to be WAlKing to support Hydrocephalus Awareness and Research. What exactly does that mean?? Well...
According to the Hydrocephalus Foundation:
"Hydrocephalus means there is an abnormal accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) within the ventricles of the brain. This fluid builds up and causes the ventricals to enlarge and the pressure inside the head to increase. Hydrocephalus cannot be cured, but can be treated. The most common treatment is a surgical procedure to place a shunt inside the person's brain. The shunt channels the flow of fluid aways from the brain into another part of the body where it can be absorbed and transported ino the bloodstream. If left untreated it could result in permanent brain damage."

Hmmm, a lot to take in. Especially when I first heard the news that my son Luccio has Hydrocephalus. Luccio was born with a Neural Tube Defect (NTD) so essentially that meant that a part of his skull had a small opening causing fluid to build up into a small pocket that looked like a skin covered golf ball on the back of his head when he was born. We fondly called it his "Lumpy." Thankfully at 5 months old Lumpy was removed and his skull was repaired. But, closing up that area caused the fluid to build up and thus Luccio now has Hydrocephalus. So at 14 months old he was "shunted." His neurosurgeon had tried other less invasive pocedures first, but alas the shunt could not be avoided. So Lucci has a tube that is inserted in his ventricles around his brain and it drains fluid into his abdomen. Thus far, thank God its working very well!!

In the beginning it was very scary to me. Greg and I need to be able to be Luccio's advocates. But, it was so overwhelming. I felt like I am wasn't sure if I really knew enough about what i am doing. I think we have good plan in place for him, but is it aggressive enough? What does it mean for his future? For school? With friends? Sports? We are learning as we go. And we have met some wonderful people along they way.

We were going to a support group that helped a lot because we were able to talk with other parents in similar situations. But, in talking with them I realized more than ever that this is an ongoing process.

Hydrocephalus isn't going to go away. Luccio will have it and have to deal with it for the rest of his life. It makes me sad because I don't want him to think that there are limitations placed on him because of it or to struggle in anyway. I want to bubble wrap him and homeschool him so he won't have to deal with insensitive teachers or students! Not logical I know.

Right around Luccio's 3rd birthday, anxiety over him starting preschool was getting me down. I was worried about all that would be out of my control and all that could and would affect him during his school days. After a good cry and a long talk with my brother, I decided to take action! I become more educated about Luccio's rights and needs. We signed him up for school and give each year's teachers the benefit of the doubt. We prepared information for them so they became familiar with Hydrocephalus. And as a family we will educate our loved ones and those involved in Luccio's life as needed. We try to not only hope for the best, we expect it!! We will be his advocates, we will see to it that his needs are met and that he reaches his fullest potential. We will pray that God continues to bless him and our family! And we will pray for his teachers too because I pity the first one that isn't up to par.

And of course, homeschooling is always a great back-up plan, and maybe the bubble wrap too!!

And in the meantime, we have teamed up with the Hydrocephalus Association and we are going to WALK for awareness and pray to someday find a cure! We are so very blessed with generous family and friends that are helping us so much along the way!!!

Alvin Coconut

2011-09-14T11:48:00.004-04:00

We have a new addition to our family, Vincenzo's baby Alvin Coconut! He is very loved and takes quite a bit of energy for me to babysit because his Daddy leaves a long list of expectations. For his 5th Birthday Vincenzo wanted to go to the American Girl Doll store and Cafe to celebrate! He convinced his twin brother it was a good idea and so he and Stregga planned the trip and let me tag along. Our good friend Amanda came to! We had so much fun! It is definitely geared towards girls, no doubt about it, the store is so pink and red and shiny and sparkly! The staff refers to everything as "for your girl" for your "birthday girl" etc. So we made quite an entrance when we were greeted at the door and announced we had arrived with our Birthday Boys! The woman at the front entrance looked a bit confused and sort of stepped back a bit to let us through. Luckily the Manager Ed, was fantastic! He made the boys feel very welcomed and showed us around the store. Vincenzo had been pouring over the store's catalog for months, so he knew just want he wanted. He went right for the Bitty Baby section and found his baby. Luccio seemed to be just along for the ride and birthday dessert. He didn't' mind the 2 hour car ride, but wasn't planning out exactly what he would purchase. Until we arrived, then he was so into the experience. He kept saying, "OMG, this store is so cool!" "Look at this, look at this, it's so cool!" He got right into it.

It is a two level store, so we went through the entire place and checked it all out before making our purchase selections. Vincenzo never wavered, he knew which Bitty Baby he wanted and he knew he wanted the crib and clothing for him. Of course, he was shopping with Stregga so he left with bags full of treasures. Both boys also picked stuffed dogs that they loved! We thought the dogs would be what Luccio would be happy with. But, he wasn't leaving without a Bitty Baby twin, he wanted the blond boy doll. Of course he couldn't understand that you don't just pick one off the shelf, you have to take the ones in the boxes. So he had a fit. He wanted the one from the shelf. And he wanted the hoodie it came with. Of course, you can't buy the hoodie separately, it only comes with the set of 2 dolls and all the extras-that we did not need. Luccio was crying and saying his birthday was "ruined" because he really wanted that hoodie for his doll. Luckily Ed saved the day and made special arrangements for the birthday boy to have the hoodie he wanted. Oh the drama!!

Next we had a delicious lunch in the cafe! The Bitty Babies were seated in their own high chairs and served their own cups, so cute!!!

On the ride home Cenzo cradled Alvin Coconut like the newborn he hoped for. But, Luccio's unnamed doll had only his diaper left on and was dancing inappropriately for most the 2 hour ride creating a lot of laughter in the backseat. Until Cenzo finally got sick of it and told him to tell his guy that it wasn't appropriate to act that way around a newborn.

Since arriving home, Unnamed Doll stays in Luccio's bed. He is not catered to in any way, but he holds a special spot among the stuffed animals and is always checked on to be sure he is there for bedtime.

Cenzo's baby, Alvin Coconut requires a bit more care. The first night Cenzo tucked his baby into his new crib with blankets and Fluffy. The next morning began a new tradition of the boys carrying out Alvin's crib to the living room, they each take a side. So funny! A weary Cenzo informed me, "It's a lot of work being a Daddy. I was up most of the night watching on my baby. I rested a little, but not much." Welcome to parenthood my friend.

There was moment of panic that first morning when Cenzo realized Alvin Coconut could not go to school with him. In the end it was agreed upon that Alvin would be strapped into his own carseat and take the ride to school, but not get out of the car. Isabella and I were recruited as babysitters. We were given a long, very detailed list of what to do and what not to do. He wrote some notes for us in case we forgot. Of course his notes looked like a bunch of letters and circles, but he explained what they meant.

Alvin Coconut's care instructions:

-He likes to drink his milk. He drinks from a bottle only. (I guess implying no one should nurse Alvin Coconut??) But, he does have a "machine" (cardboard box aka breast pump??) that his Daddy left for us to get him more milk when he needs it.

-He should have milk at least 3 or 40 times a day

-Alvin likes to wear his pink flowered sleeper. This is not pajamas and does not mean he is a girl. It's just his "Day Clothes." He really likes his Day Clothes. If he needs pajamas he can wear his blue sleeper, but he prefers his pink Day Clothes.

-He can sleep in his crib, with a blanket. He must have a blanket. And a hat when possible. It's best if the hat and blanket match.

-He is little and not used to sleeping alone, so his crib has to be in the room with me or Isabella at all times. If we are napping he can nap next to us, but can't be left in a room alone.

-He is brand new and doesn't understand things yet. So he can't be bad, so he can not be put in time out.

-He likes to be held upright in your arms. If you hold him back too far it makes him sleepy and his eyes close. Only hold him that way if it's time for him to sleep.

-He likes to be held a lot. Try to hold him a lot of the day.

-Don't let him cry, if he cries feed him or hold him a lot more.

-He likes to go out, but he needs his carseat in the car.

I have to admit I was stressed the first day because Isabella and I had quite the responsibility in caring for Alvin Coconut. Especially since he comes with a Baby Record book and I had to check off if we fed, rocked, changed and held him!

Isabella likes Alvin and will often look at him and say, "Cenzo Baby." And she holds him a lot. But, truth be told Alvin spends most of his days in the Mom Mobile either with Isabella and I while we run errands, or on his own while we do whatever we do.

But, at the end of every day we are accountable to tell his Daddy about his activities. So we try to be sure to hold him a bit. And I always make sure to think of a few highlights like Alvin liked going to Isabella's mommy & me class, he visited Stregga, etc. I have to be specific because his Daddy likes to know how many hours did he sleep? How many ounces did he drink? Luckily for me his Daddy still hasn't gotten the whole Math thing down, so he is happy to hear Alvin slept for 27 hours and drank 152 ounces of milk.

Vincenzo has gotten some odd looks and comments from people, even some laughter. People can't quite get why a boy would want his birthday at American Girl store and cafe. They are a bit taken aback when he comes running in with his baby and stroller and diaper bag. It was especially a bit of a shock when he went on a sleepover at a friend's house and arrived with Alvin Coconut and his crib. He takes it in stride. He gets a bit shy or embarrassed when he takes Alvin to a new place or someone's house. He feels the environment out for awhile before he is comfortable including Alvin in socializing. One day he put him in bag and left him next to him. At other times he knows he is in a nurturing environment and unloads all of Alvin's treasures and clothes and shares him with people around him.We have very loving family and friends and they have all welcomed Alvin.

I hate that Cenzo knows to feel uncomfortable in any way for being a loving little guy. But, I am proud that he doesn't let that stop him. In fact, he has even recruited a few friends into his Stroller Brigade. He had his brother and his best friend James actually fighting over which strollers they would use, LOL!

Like Stregga says, he is a good Daddy and has obviously received a lot of love and nurturing. And he has the Best Daddy Ever as a role model!

The Layers Between Us

2011-07-24T20:18:00.003-04:00

Spent last week on vacation with the family. It was fantastic and surprisingly relaxing! I even had a chance to ponder life a bit. Although with 3 kids the ponderings were not solitary and always somehow connected to the potty. I think the most profound musing I had all week resulted from one of our many visits to public restrooms with the kids. I was shuffling the boys into the stall, a tight fit for 3 people. Add some sand and wet bathing suits and it was just a joy, not to mention the floor was soaked from God knows what and there were no garbages provided so it made for interesting hand washing. Anyway there was a moment of debate between a "clean sweep" of the toilet seat using some toilet paper or lining with rows of tissue instead? Nothing is simple with twin 4 year olds and so we went round and round and finally I encouraged those who can stand, do. And do not touch anything that isn't necessary. Out of the chaos came enlightenment when the boys asked, what is on the seat that they shouldn't touch? and how is toilet paper protecting them from it?

Uh, good questions. Well nasty, gross germs from disgusting pee and poop may be on the seat. And I guess toilet paper protects you because its what everyone does.

But, seriously folks...why do we toilet paper a seat? I mean really what good can that piece of tissue do? If all that is protecting us from contracting a life or death disease is a thin piece of tissue, how safe can that be? UGH!

When I wasn't playing "The Why Game" with the boys, or wiping anyone's behind, I was actually enjoying some leisure time. It helped that my parents vacationed with us. Nothing like outnumbering the kids to make for a great trip!! We spent the days at the beach, the afternoons napping, the evenings playing mini golf, riding go carts, eating ice cream, watching the sunset. It was glorious!! I was happy to get to read some books. The boys enjoyed building sand castles and surfing, the Princess loved being outdoors. Hubby and my parents enjoyed the time to relax and play too! And along the way we got to examine some of life's greatest mysteries. Summer is the best!

Magic Moments

2011-07-12T08:10:00.005-04:00

We set up a Fairy House in our garden. I wasn't sure how the kids would react to the idea, but they loved it. Not a moment of doubt or hesitation. They got right to work picking out the perfect spot tucked under the butterfly bush because butterfly bushes are a fairy's favorite spot to hang out. They added sparkling stones, rocks, seashells and sticks to cozy the place up. And then we waited and waited to see if any fairies would move in. I told them fairies like to have their houses in secret gardens so we may not actually see them. But, we waited and watched anyway.

When they were distracted I added some tiny dollhouse furniture to the set up. Vincenzo found it right away, he was screaming with joy at the new discovery! Luccio ran over to observe and confirmed for all of us that the fairies had definitely moved in! Isabella was right on their heels and sat in the grass staring into the tiny houses with them.

Later, my teenage nephew came over and the kids couldn't wait to show him the Fairy House. I was worried that he would make fun of them or squash their magical experience. But, I should have known better. Right away Nikko reminded them of the Magic Fairy that visits Stregga's house and leaves money in a special jar. He told them how she used to leave the money for him, but now it's for them. Vincenzo has collected money from that jar and was so excited! Nikko wondered to the boys if the Magic Fairy was related to the ones that moved into our garden? Something to ponder for sure! They were thrilled at that thought.

At that moment I sat down on a nearby chair and thought about what a magical experience I was witnessing. It didn't matter that we were all covered in dirt and mulch and sweat from gardening or that Isabella had snot dripping from her nose and had spent the morning fussing and clinging to me or that the boys had been fighting over the same toy since their eyes opened that morning. All of that faded as I sipped on my iced coffee that had been melting in the hot sun for two hours. All I could think of was how grateful I am that Hubby and I are able to make it work so that I am home to raise our family and witness moments like this. This childhood magic will dissipate soon and the world will contradict innocence and they will grow up and move on and that fairy house will be abandoned. But, now in this moment I thank God for this life and the ability to experience wonder through the eyes of my children.

And then Vincenzo leaned on Luccio and knocked him over and they started wrestling and Isabella climbed onto the heap and then chaos ensued. Ah, life is good!

Independence Day

2011-07-04T08:30:00.011-04:00

July 4th has me reminiscing on my own Independence Day declared July 4, 2001. Before Hubby, before my precious babies, before 9/11 when the world was still safe and I was still single, I spent Independence Day traveling across the ocean to Italy for a few weeks on my own. I was 26 years old and it was the first time I was truly on my own. I lived in college dorms with hundreds of people and roommates, I have lived in a volunteer community with friends and roomies, but I had never really been alone for more than a few hours or at most a day. Italy was a big deal for me, it meant independence and meant finding myself. At 26 with no husband or kids I thought about things like that. That I would find myself somewhere or somehow. Like I was missing? Who knows. But, at the time it was a priority. I was on a constant quest to find Inner Peace. It took spending time in Assisi, Italy the birthplace of St. Francis for me to realize Peace was there all along.

It was such an incredible trip. It started with a 6 hour delay at JFK airport where I met some random strangers and read 2 books. Apparently Alitalia Airlines was on strike. Luckily they settled things and I got off the ground. Finally after an 8 hour flight I arrived in a new country, The Old Country, the place of origin for my Italian American roots. I had been there before but this time was different, I was on my own. So everything looked different, sounded different. I am SUCH an American. I thought everyone speaks English and celebrates with BBQs on the 4th of July. Foreign travel is always so humbling because then I realize Thanksgiving is NOT celebrated in England and the birthday of The United States of America is NOT celebrated in Italy. It's just another day and I was just another American that didn't speak Italian. I had taken classes before going so I understood enough to get around, but not enough to understand that my train to Florence made a stop and I needed to get off and change trains. Luckily an older woman next to me took pity and realized I had no idea where I was and directed to me to the transfer train. We could barely hold a conversation, but we bonded and ended up being pen pals for years. I communicated enough to figure out how to order coffee, cafe americano. But, I couldn't communicate that my nails need acrylic repair (those were the days when I had no kids and thought nothing of spending $25 a week on fake nails, their upkeep was high on the priority list, even in Italy.)

I stayed at a religious boarding house, Casa Immacoolata. My stay there had been arranged by a priest friend of mine that I used to work with. The Franciscan Sisters that run the house were amazing. They took me under their wing and advised me on how to get around Assisi and travel into Florence, etc. Assisi is a medieval Village, a walled city, one of the most peaceful places on Earth. The population is around 500, the visitor toll is in the thousands. People travel from all over to visit St. Francis's tomb. All races and religions stand near his tomb and bask in the absolute power of God and feeling of Peace. It is unreal. It took a few planes, trains and a walk up a steep hill to arrive, but I got there. I settled in.

I spent the first 2 days a bit jet lagged and cultured shocked. I wandered the town, visited the Basilica, found quiet places to read and journal. I sat in the Piazza and had coffee. I adjusted to the idea that there are no screens on the windows and its too hot to close them at night. I got over the fear of the bats that circled at night and slept without my ear plugs and sleep mask for the first time in years. I was so exhausted and so at peace that I didn't even think of them flying in the windows at night after awhile. I was lulled to sleep by their shrieking. This was a major step for me. Especially since I wouldn't even stay home alone at night in my own house.

After a few days I met people. I met Brother Barry. He was in Assisi for a Friars convention. We had a lot in common, he was a kindred spirit. We talked for hours and met in the Piazza at night to listen to music. We both had curfews. The boarding houses we stayed in were run by religious groups, he was a member of his group. We had to be in by 10:15 pm. Or the doors locked. So we laughed about that! We talked and talked for hours. He had the peaceful spirit of Francis. He stayed for over a week. On the last day his Order of Friars were meeting for Mass at the Tomb. He invited me to attend, but I didn't have an alarm clock so he told me to tell my angels to wake me in time. I laughed and said goodbye just in case I didn't make it to the 7 am Mass. At 6:30 the next morning sure enough my angels woke me in just enough time to dress and get to The Basilica. The Mass could not have been more incredible. All of those Friars celebrating together at the Tomb of St. Francis. Peace was everywhere that morning. After Barry left, I missed my friend, but I knew I would have more adventures in the time that remained. Barry and I would stay in touch over the next few years and visit with each other again in Toronto during World Youth 2002. By then I would have had my first few dates with Hubby and be on the way to the rest of my life. In Italy I didn't know that yet, but I had a feeling one morning when I visited the San Damiano Chapel that life would work out exactly as it was supposed to.

I had saved San Damiano for last. I first visited the house Francis grew up in, and some of the places in the Umbria area where he traveled and ministered. I went to his tomb daily and sat and absorbed his Peacefulness. I met a group traveling from Australia, they stayed for a few days. I met a Luca on a train back from Florence. He had visited America and thought it was great so he loved having someone to chat with about it. I became good friends with some of the Sisters that ran the boarding house I stayed in. They showed me some of the sights that were less touristy. We had gelato every night in town. They made yummy fresh food. So fresh in fact that one morning I realized there were a few less chickens in the yard. My vegetarian tendencies told me to panic, but the spirit of Francis told me to go with the flow. It was great food, great pieced together Italian/English conversations over meals.

One of the Sisters gave me a ride to Mount Subasio. Francis spent months praying there. I couldn't wait to get there. It was one of my last stops in Assisi. I was introduced to Franco, a man that worked security there and the Sister assured me he would give me a ride back into town when I was ready. I was at the top of Mt. Subasio completely alone in the woods with only Franco out that gates. I was a long way from home. I could see all of Assisi from where I stood. I knew it was unsafe walking the winding roads back into town, I had heard of things happening. And it was far. So Franco was my best option. I trusted the Sisters opinion and stayed to pray. I spent hours there. Lost track of time really. It was such an amazing space to be in. And Franco made good on his promise to get me back safely. He was such a nice guy and talked about his family and how wonderful the Sisters had been to them.

I met people of God everywhere I went in Assisi. I met Claudia and Flavia. Claudia is a true "Townie." She walks all day. Anywhere you go in Assisi, at any time you are likely to see Claudia walking. She has had hardship and life has taken it's toll on her, but she walks and she welcomes. She has an edge. She hold you accountable. She wanted to know, was I a Tourist or a Pilgrim? I think back to that question so often in life. Am I here sightseeing, just along for the ride? Or do I really want to be a part of the bigger picture, the amazement, the wonder the reality of what God has to offer. I thought long and hard before I answered her and finally I said, I guess I am a little bit of both. I wanted to go to Florence and buy pocketbooks and jewelry and I did. I wanted to take pictures of Saint Clare's preserved body. But, at the same time I was moved by it. I was in awe of the woman that gave her life to God and followed Francis in his spiritual ways and was left untouched by death. I guess I am a Tourist that is striving to be a Pilgrim. Trying to find the sacred in the everyday. Claudia and her daughter, Flavia traveled with me and one of the Sisters to Perugia. A nearby village. It is the famous sight of the story Francis and The Wolf. The Wolf ahd been terrorizing the people, but Francis and his gentle spirit tamed the wolf. Then the people fed the wolf and he became their beloved pet. I love that story. I loved Perugia. It was quant, lots of great little stores and tiny chapels where Francis ahd spent time. It wasn't as sacred feeling as Assisi. But, I t was a nice spot to visit for a day.

By the end of the weeks I spent there I had met so many people and prayed in so many churches and sat and journaled in so many beautiful scenic areas. Finally at the end of that time I was ready to go to San Damiano, the place where God appeared to Francis and told him his mission. I went there on a Sunday. It was quieter than I had imagined. Almost deserted, although I am sure there were people there sightseeing. There were always people there. But, it wasn't crowded. I soaked up the feeling in the Chapel. I remember being there, but nothing stands out in my memory. Until I went walking back up the the huge hill towards town. There was a large circle in the center of the path. It was the halfway point back up the hill. It was hot and the sun was blazing. I stopped in the center of that circle. I closed my eyes and felt a cool breeze. I will never forget that Circle, that sacred space. For the first time in my life I stopped, I took it all in. I felt Peace. I realized it was in my heart all along. I knew life would unfold just as it should. All of the things I prayed for, would be in time. Not necessarily exactly like I pictured or in the timing I expected, but as it should be. When I get stressed out, overwhelmed, discouraged with life. I think back to that moment. I feel that moment and that sense of Peace washes over me. It was a sacred gift, one that I hope I can hold onto for a long time.

I was sad leaving Assisi. I felt that even though I wanted to return someday, I knew in my heart of heart that it wouldn't be the same. I will go back again. I have to. My dream is to bring my children someday. For them to experience the sacred, ancient place of Assisi. To see the beautiful countryside, the fields of lavender, the rose colored buildings at sunset. To hear the Italian language spoken as our ancestors spoke it. I want them to go to Rome and Florence and sight see and be tourists too, but, to have a spiritual journey like Assisi is priceless.

When I stood at the top of Mount Subasio and looked out at the view enjoying the peacefulness of life, I never could have known that 2 months later the United States would suffer a terrorist attack that would change lives forever. I didn't know I would be gripped with fear on airplanes in the future or afraid to be out at night in strange cities alone, I didn't know that fear would motivate me to stay closer to home and cling to a smaller radius to live life. I didn't know that type of fear would remain underlying in everything over the next years as I started a family, I didn't know I would be a mom that makes neurotic decisions in an effort to protect my children because the world is scary and bad things can happen. In that moment in Assisi, I was independent, free and at peace. I draw on that experience often. I try to fight the fear and still enjoy peacefulness. When the Evening News overwhelms me I tend to change the channel, when horrible things happen I tend to pray for a better world. And underneath all the fear I still cling to the belief that life is good. I hope someday I will get back to beautiful Assisi. For now, I am grateful for the experiences I had and for the chance to be independent, to discern what is truly important so I can treasure all of the blessings I have in life!

Sesame Place 2011

2011-07-02T15:05:00.005-04:00

We went on our 2nd Annual Family vacation to Sesame Place this week. It was fantastic!! I was worried it wasn't going to be as great as last year because we had LOVED it so much. I was afraid we would go back and it wouldn't have the same magic. But, it was even better! We booked the same hotel suite which was great because the location was so close to Sesame and they provide a shuttle to and from the park. And the kitchen came in handy when we needed to make dinner etc. And the Sesame Place Park was just as great as we all remembered. We were so lucky that my good friend Steph aka "Sis" gave us the tickets to the park! What a wonderful gift!!

I couldn't believe how much the boys remembered of the trip from last year. When we arrived, they knew which pools they wanted to stop at first and where the stores were and what rides they wanted to go on. The great thing about the Park is that its small enough that you can walk the whole place in about 10 minutes. It was crowded, but there was so much to do that it didn't matter. We saw the parade twice and the Elmo's World Show. They boys volunteered to be in the show and it was hysterical. It was a Dancing Theme show so they were up there break dancing and hookie-lauing with Elmo, LOL! Luccio was so into it that he could barely contain himself, he was dancing even during the parts where he was supposed to be sitting down. The lady next to us said it, "looks like someone has Happy Feet." LOL

We spent two days at the Park, the first day we kind of bopped around seeing what the kids wanted to do. They wanted to everything at once, but then they realized we had plenty of time so they settled in and relaxed. Luccio loved the pools. He stayed in the wading pool for hours. He met lots of little kids that immediately became his best friends! And Vincenzo was really into the rides this year. So he went off with Hubby to ride the big kid rides. Luccio rode a few times with them too, even The Rocket which is really a big ride! I was a wreck, but they loved it!

Miss Isabella did very well too, she is quite the vacationer, LOL! She really liked the shows and parade, she like the little sprinkler pools and she was happy to sit in her stroller sightseeing. She even rode some big kid rides! I was worried because we went a spinning ride with her and I was so dizzy, but she loved it! She was shouting, "Woo Hoo" and laughing!

And when she was tired she climbed into her stroller and took naps.

Stregga came with us again this year too! She loves the amusement parks as much as the kids. It was nice having extra help with the kids. And the kids loved getting extra spoiled! She gave them lots special attention and packed a bag of fun stuff to play with at the hotel. She took them into the gift shops and let them pick out a gift each day. And Cenzo loved going on the Flying Elmo ride with her. Stregga was scared, so Cenzo added to her fear by pressing the button to keep the ride up high the whole time, stinker!!! He thought it was hilarious!

Hubby had a blast too. A few times Stregga and I would look around for him and the boys and he would be in a line dancing and singing Elmo tunes. Yep, that's my Sweetest!

I just loved watching the kids smiling faces all day! It was the best! We will have these memories to talk about for years to come!

Elmo's World

2011-06-27T22:25:00.006-04:00

We are counting down the days until our trip to Sesame Place this week. We had SO much fun last year, we are super excited to go back. This week it's all about Elmo. We are making Elmo crafts and getting all of our Elmo books, DVDs, t-shirts, and toys out. I have to say I am so happy to be back in the Sesame phase again. They boys went through this phase when they were around 18 months. But, grew out of it quickly. So last year when we went to Sesame Place it really re-ignited that Sesame Street love for our whole family. The boys were really happy to meet Grover and Cookie Monster and I was so excited to buy Abby Cadabby stuff for my little Princess! This year Isabella is old enough to enjoy it all with us and she really loves all of the Sesame characters, especially Cookie and Elmo. The kids really got into their crafts. We made Elmo masks and Isabella thought it would be fun to paint herself to look like Elmo too.

Monkeys & Mixology

2011-06-26T09:42:00.004-04:00

Science has been such a fun endeavor that I ended up buying out practically the entire section of kits and experiments at the Teacher/Parent store this week. So we are growing Sea Monkeys and have become color mixing experts! Sea Monkeys start off microscopic so it was a challenge for 4 year olds to get the concept that dust like particles are actually alive and swimming. And it took some explaining for them to understand that Sea Monkeys do not have fur or eat bananas. And we will not be bringing them to the Rainforest. Luckily, the Sea Monekys are very low maintenance. You add water, sea monkeys from a packet of dried eggs and on the 5th day you feed them a teeny tiny scoop of powdered food. They eat every 2 days after that. I can handle a pet that requires to eat only every 2 days and takes up just a smidgen of space in its tiny aquarium on our kitchen counter.

Thankfully they have grown a bit so we can see them swimming now without a magnifying glass. It's very exciting!

Color mixing was very cool! Its exactly like mixing Easter egg coloring. You take a tablet of color and put it

in water and then observe the fizzing and dissolving, etc. From there we took drops of each color and mixed them in a special container with 24 different compartments. All kinds of color combos are possible. Then we tried some experiments like mixing the colors in milk and adding soap to see the different reactions. At the end you add crystallizing powder to the colors and they form gel like crystal. The boys were so impressed at all we could do with a few drops of water and some food color. They LOVED seeing new colors form and the crystals were just amazing to them!

Fairly easy activities, but it definitely took some managing. I had to make sure The Princess was asleep first. So we worked during her morning nap. She really loves all that is going on and wants to be a part of everything, but she is so little and knocks everything over and wants to taste all of the experiments, so there ends of being so much mess and crying when she gets involved with activities that are not age appropriate for her. So for Sea Monkey and Color Mixing she napped. It was nice to spend that time alone with the boys and it kept them quiet so she could rest. They like the idea that they get to "big kid" stuff sometimes. When she woke up, she was able to observe the Sea Monkeys with the magnifying glass and she did really well with it! And the boys have been great about including her in their playtime so she doesn't feel left out.

The Great Bug Hunt

2011-06-21T15:33:00.002-04:00

Science was such a bit hit for all 3 kids on Monday, so I decided to stick with that theme throughout the week. Tuesday morning we geared up with binoculars and magnifying glasses and took our Explorer Notebooks with us for a Bug Hunt Mission. I am by no means a nature type. So walking off into the woods is not my thing. The nearby Shrine grounds is about as woodsy as I like to get, it makes me feel comfortable to know there is a snack bar for lunch and a gift shop for when we get bored of bugs. So, with that in mind off we went on our adventure. The kids and I love to visit the Shrine.There are plenty of wooded areas and paths with trees and streams, but its small enough that I know my way around and there are always people walking and visiting. When we first got there I saw something small and furry run across the path and I nearly fainted. But, I quickly reminded myself I was about 2.5 feet from the car and could always run back if we needed to. So on we went.

The kids had so much fun chasing bugs and checking everything out with the magnifying glasses. Thank God we didn't find anything too scary. Mostly ants, a couple beetles and few gorgeous butterflies. For over an hour we just sat in one spot watching ants come in and out the little sand hills they had built. I think it may have been the first time all 3 of my children have sat anywhere together for that long without seatbelts or a TV. So it was exciting. And I have to say those darn ants are interesting. How DO they built those little tunnels? And wow they are strong! We were amazed at the size of the dead things they were able to carry, other dead ants and centipedes etc. Very exciting stuff!! We tried to observe and respect nature and the bugs we found in a gentle way. But, gentle isn't exactly Isabella or Luccio's strong suit. They were a bit overzealous with the magnifying glasses and tended to smother their subjects just a bit by completely covering them with the glass and looking at them with their little faces pressed right against the ground.

After ant watching we enjoyed a yummy lunch at the snack bar and spent another hour just throwing rocks into the stream. It was so relaxing! To relax out with 3 kids, it just doesn't usually happen. But, given some water and rocks they stayed entertained and were too busy to even fight with each other. Bliss!

Homeschoolasaurus

2011-06-20T16:05:00.001-04:00

This was the first official week of Summer Vacation for the kids. Preschool "graduation" ceremonies are over, no more school bus, no place to drop them off for 2-6 hours on any given day. So, it was time for some reorganizing around here and I had to come up with a really great Summer Plan to keep us all from losing our minds. Summer is our family's best time of the year. Hubby onlyworks one of his jobs in the summer which gives us a to more family time, we plan fun day trips and vacations and we enjoy eating grilled food in the backyard. I have really been looking forward to these upcoming 2 months together. Especially since this year with Luccio in full day school we got a feel for what it will be like for the boys to both be in all day Pre-K in the Fall. I feel like these are some of our last moments to spend together with a sense of carefreeness that goes along with life with young kids. Once they are in school all day, every day, things will change, time will be so limited and I know the years will rush by one after the other. So this summer I really want to slow the pace and enjoy the days together. But, at the same time I have to be realistic and know that I have 2 very energetic boys to entertain and one very busy and opinionated baby girl to keep up with.

On that note, I have decided to have what we are calling Summer Homeschool. We had good friends visit a few weeks ago and they are a homeschooling family so my kids were able to get an idea of what it means to have "school" at home. Basically we tried to convey to the kids that homeschooling means living life and taking notice of all that is around you so you can learn and reach your full potential. But, we told them that in terms 4 year olds can understand, "homeschool means we do fun stuff together and learn new things. And I will be expecting the best behavior, just like your preschool teachers." So that is our mission: to explore, to notice, to revel in wonder and hopefully learn a little something along the way. I have tried to put my teaching skills to use and put together a loose format and some lesson planning to give a bit of shape to our days. But, mostly we are going to go where the interest takes us.

On Monday morning they couldn't wait to get started. I thought we would start off with handwriting lessons and packets I made up about the colors of the rainbow. So I brought out dry erase boards and markers and we were going practice writing their names. That took about 1.5 minutes. Everyone was doodling, bored and more concerned about using the eraser. I could see their eyes glaze over and their ears shut off as I showed them the "cool" rainbow packets they could write in and color. I was told immediately by Vincenzo that Summer Homeschool is boring and then everyone else started asking when we were having snack. It was 8 am, exactly 37 minutes after breakfast, ugh.

Well... I quickly summed up that we were going to need Plan B. So my adorable booklets and worksheets went back into the Art Closet and we went with Science instead. I luckily had been to the Teacher/Parent store and bought a few Science kits that looked interesting . I also remembered we had gotten Dinosaur Eggs from a birthday party the day before. So I got a few cups of water, let each of the kids put an egg in and explain we would wait for it to hatch. They didn't care that it would take 12-48 hours for this to happen. The idea of that egg hatching kept them so excited they couldn't think of anything else. I saw how they responded so well, so I set up a plastic cart on the back porch and announced that it would be our Science Center. We put the cups with the eggs on it and it was as if I made magic happen before their eyes.

They were so overjoyed at the new Science Center! So I thought let's keep on this track. I quickly opened up the planting kit I had gotten and when they saw that small dome shaped terrarium, they went wild. Planting seeds in dirt, now that was fun! Summer Homeschool was back on! Most of the day they sat on the porch with little chairs watching the eggs and checking the dirt for signs of growth. They didn't even want to go to the park with friends, I had to actually bribe them to go. Then they hurried home to be on watch for dinosaurs. It was all they could talk about that day. How were the eggs going to hatch, did they have enough water? What would the dinosaurs look like? And all day we were all on the same page - the dinosaurs were NOT real because as Vincenzo reminded us - dinosaurs are extinct. Everyone understood that the eggs were to show you how a dinosaur egg hatched, but they are NOT actually dinosaurs. Everyone got it. Until bedtime. Then there was a moment of panic as the lights were going out that the giant dinosaurs might hatch while they were asleep and come into their room looking for them, and on and on. So we had to go through the garbage and find the box the eggs came in and see for sure that they are toys. And we read dinosaurs A-Z that assured us, dinosaurs are in fact extinct. Relief!

Nearly 24 long, excruciating hours later dinosaurs hatched!! We did a lot of celebrating and dancing around. We got out our book to identify each of the 4. Apparently we had one brontosaurus, one T-Rex, and one triceratops. And the last egg hatched the following morning containing a yellow duck. So that was a a whole new mystery to figure out.

Vincenzo claimed the T-Rex right away and has named him, Homeschoolasaurus.

We filled a bowl with water for the dinosaurs to swim, which created endless scenarios for fun times and messes.

So we survived the first week of being home together, we learned a little, we had a lot of fun, we had a few adjustments to make along the way, we had to "reprogram" behavior expectations here and there, but all in all it was great. As we got into the groove of the week it got better and better. And we even ended up with our own mascot, Homeschoolasaurs!

Don't Be A Weaner

2011-06-03T20:00:00.004-04:00

A couple of months ago I went to a La Leche League Conference. I came home with lots of new insights, educational materials and a few fun slogans! Vincenzo latched right onto one of the sayings (pun intended!) A button I got says, "Breastfeed, Don't be a weaner." He thought that was hilarious! He even made up a tune and turned into a jingle. So every once in a while he will chant, "Breastfeed, Don't be a weaner." And when I least expect it he will give me his unsolicited advice and manage to work in the jingle. For example, one day I had a bad headache so I was resting on the couch. The children cannot stand it when I rest, so they do everything they can to remedy any ailments that may bring me to needing rest. "Well Mama, why does your head hurt? Are you sick?" "You know you should breastfeed because it's good for your health." And then ~ the jingle, "Breastfeed, Don't be a weaner." Always sung in a LOUD, high pitched voice, which certainly does not help a headache.

Last week, I was going out in the evening. A MUCH needed break. I was telling my mother how excited I was to use my Mother's Day gift card for a mani/pedi and have the night off. Vincenzo overheard that and had a fit. "Ya know some moms stay with their kids all the time, every day and never go out." My reply, "Uh, yes I know that because I AM one of those moms sweetie!"

He kept going, "Well, you should stay home with us." When his logic and pleading didn't sway me, he knew he needed to take drastic action. So he went over to Isabella and said, "Well baby I guess you won't be getting your special milky tonight because Mama is going out. Sorry!"

And then the jingle, "Breastfeed, Don't be a weaner." UGH

And he is not alone in his mission to promote the "breast is best" belief. Luccio is right there with him advocating for Isabella to have the liquid gold that will make her grow strong and healthy. When Luccio heard I was going out that night, he put in his two cents. "Mama, you need to pump. She needs her milky!" Reasoning with him was useless. He is 4 and male and just unreasonable most of the time. He didn't care when I explained that Isabella would be fine and that she could drink water or even some of the organic milk in the fridge if she needed a drink while i was gone. He didn't want to hear that. He was appalled at such suggestions and said, "you should just pump!" Even though I haven't pumped in months, he knew that machine was somewhere in the house. And the next thing I knew they were both chanting the jingle.

When Isabella was born I knew all of our lives would change. A brand new baby in the family mixes up roles and lives and schedules and adds so many blessings and new dreams to the mix. But, I didn't quite foresee the path leading to my sons becoming staunch breastfeeding advocates. the first night we brought her home from the hospital, the boys (3 years old at the time) asked us when the baby was the going to eat. And could they give her a bottle? Well...I took out the book we had been reading about preparing for a new sibling and I showed them a picture of 2 moms. One giving her baby a bottle of milk and the other breastfeeding her baby. I explained some moms use bottles and some don't. Immediately they said, "We want you to use bottles." It took some adjusting in the beginning for all of us to get used to the idea of nursing.

I hadn't planned on nursing past a couple months. I certainly wasn't planning to nurse a toddler or attend La Leche meetings, no way! I didn't even know breastfeeding conferences existed at the time, but if I did I would have said I would NEVER attend one. Then I read a book called Breastfeeding Made Simple and it changed my life and mind forever. It is a wonderful resource.

I could go on and on about the benefits, challenges, pros, cons, etc. But, that is another blog post. And when Isabella is weaning I will write that post and reflect on the life giving experience it has been. For now, I will just say that for our family at this time in my life with Isabella it has been the right decision and perfect fit into our lives. And over the last 19 months her brothers have become educated supporters and advocates for the benefits of breastfeeding just by simply living life in our house. They are proud of the way she is growing, how healthy and smart she is and take great pride in the fact that I make milk. It reminds me of the other La Leche League slogan, "I make milk, what's your super power?" I love that one!

There have been funny moments, lots of questions, even slightly hurt feelings when the boys realized they were not breastfed, but received pumped milk in bottles and formula. Lots of questions and comments about that! The horror on their faces was evident and it made them all the more determined that Isabella get her "milky" for as long as she needs it. La Leche should hire these 2 to go out and campaign for them. They are convincing and even if you don't agree with them, they will try to talk you into doing what they think is right.

Or they will sing you jingles until you can't even think straight!

Dress Code

2011-05-12T10:00:00.000-04:00

It's always fun trying to explain appropriate clothing choices to unreasonable toddlers. I have 3 little ones with very differing opinions on EVERYTHING! Luccio, 4 yrs old, could not understand why he couldn't wear mittens to school today. I tried rational explanations like: because its spring, because its going to be warm. But, bottom line is ~ they are your sisters mittens AND they looks ridiculous with your gym uniform! So in the end "because I said so" seemed like the best answer. Isabella, 18 months old, is The Most Unreasonable of our Unreasonables in the house. She has an endless supply of lovely, coordinated, beautiful dresses, skirts, pants, tutus, etc. But, lately she wants to wear~ hoodies. Not the clean, cute pink ones in her closet. No. The dirty, smelly, well worn ones that belong to her brothers. When I tell her no, she puts them on herself and shrieks and kicks and refuses to take them off. So I have decided to pick my battles and save fashion fights for high school years. In the meantime, my Darling Princess wants to pair all of her beautiful clothes with a hoodie. The other day she had on a onesie (which I usually only allow to be worn at bedtime), her pink sandals and her brother's hoodie. She honestly thought I would permit her out of the house like that. She stood at the front door demanding "OUTSIDE!" Since it was cold and rainy, I insisted on her wearing pants. We have to have some standards.

Vincnzo pretty much wears what I put out for him, his only hang up is whether its long sleeves or short sleeves. And he changes his mind so often on which is better that I have been just telling him to pick his own shirt if he doesn't approve of my choice for the day. Other than that he is fairly easy about clothing. I guess I expected him to be the fashionista, since he always notices everyone's clothes and comments on how beautiful he thinks something is and is outspoken when he disapproves of my wardrobe choice for myself.

But, it's The Bear, Luccio, that has turned into the Diva. Thankfully he wears a uniform to school so it limits his choices. But, goodness he finds things to worry about. The shirts can't be too long, he doesn't like pants that button, he wants to wear a sweatshirt, but not put the hood up because it will mess his hair. And his HAIR! Now that is a project. Every morning he wants me to give him "Rock Star Hair." This entails lots of hair gel and plenty of time for him to check in the mirror to see if I have styled him just right. And he is so picky with how much hair needs to be sticking up, etc. Today he told me he wants Sponge Bob Hair. Does Sponge Bob even have hair??

I have heard the worst years are yet to come. So I will enjoy the crazy styles my kids come up with while it's still cute. I have a feeling it won't be long before those high school days arrive and I will have to be on the lookout for clothes that are far more inappropriate than mittens in the spring and sandals in the winter.

Rhyming Words

2011-05-11T19:52:00.000-04:00

Luccio came home from school very eager to share the nursery rhyme he learned. His mispronunciation of the classic words made for an interesting spin. "Baa, Baa, black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir 3 bags full. One for my bastard, one for the lame and one for the little boy who lives down the lane." I tried explain that one bag is for the Dame and it means a woman and one is for The Master which means Boss. But, he LOUDLY corrected me with the "right words." So that was that.

Happy Easter

2011-04-23T20:48:00.007-04:00

I think it speaks volumes about our culture that many people find it easier to believe that a giant, magical bunny arrives in the night with baskets full of candy for us rather than consider the possibility that a man died trying to save the world. But, to each his own. We have tried to strike a balance with our kids. We are teaching them about the life and death of Jesus in terms toddlers can understand and also embracing the spirit of Springtime traditions like egg coloring and wearing bunny ears.

Our boys are 4, they understand that in our Faith tradition Jesus came to teach people about God's love, that some people didn't like him and that he died on a cross. There are parts of the story that get sketchy and raise LOTS of questions. Lots and lots of questions, some I have never considered before. I have tried my best to answer them and just when I think I have done my best there comes a zinger to trip me up. It always comes back to how did Jesus get to Heaven? Cenzo wants to know "did he fly or was he just zoomed up?" Luccio is happy that "now our cat Spooky will have company in Heaven."

The other night we got together a few friends and their families and celebrated a Holy Thursday prayer service for the children. I met most of the group during my college years. We met in the dorms and then became close friends through the Campus Ministry.

We have kept in touch over the years and now that we are married our spouses and children have become good friends too.

Five families gathered Thursday and we have 14 children among us!! It was a bit of organized chaos. The kids took turns washing each others feet and then shared bread and juice to remember the Last Supper.

At the end of the celebration we passed a cross around and each person said what they are thankful for. Luccio was very excited when it was his turn. He picked up the cross and said, "Look Ma, it's that guy! It's Jesus like on our cross." When it was his turn he was thankful for "rockets." Vincenzo was thankful for James (our friend's son that was part of the group.) And when it was James's turn he said he was thankful for his "brother Vincenzo." That is the way our kids think of each other, as family.When it comes down to it, at the end of the day that is the best part of it all. Good friends sharing Faith. To see the next generation of our group growing up together has been such fun!

Whether you believe in Jesus, Abba, Allah, Buddha, The Easter Bunny, someone else or nothing at all, I wish you a happy, healthy Spring!! Celebrate the new life of the season and enjoy your family and friends!!

And if the magical bunny does arrive with candy for you, Enjoy!!! I plan to eat as many chocolate bunny ears and Cadbury mini eggs as possible, especially since I have heard they are calorie free on Easter.

Believe in Miracles!!!

Mama Time With Ms. Meeghan

2011-03-08T11:26:00.014-05:00

My friend, Ms. Meeghan came for a visit recently. It was so much fun!!! I met Meeghan the year we graduated from college and joined a volunteer corp (Chi Rho) where we were roomies. We lived in a community and worked together in an elementary school. The students called us Ms. Carrie and Ms. Meeghan and it stuck. So 13 years later we still call each other by our "teacher names." There are endless funny stories from the Chi Rho days including themes like: Stolen Devil Dogs, The Blue Booty Wagon, The Mysterious Toilet Clogger, kitchens with shag carpeting that smelled like mildew, students knocking things off my desk in a violent rage, the same student later referring to me EVILLLLLL!!!!, an incident that included certain volunteer teachers being cut off by a rude driver and then certain volunteers blowing the horn and yelling out the window at the driver without realizing it was the school secretary. Yeah, stories like that. Also stories of what it's like to live with 7 strangers in a run down apartment building that looked like a haunted hotel. Our community formed with very little direction from the "director" and we made due with a grocery budget of $100 for 7 people. That always made for fun times! And somewhere in the middle of it all we foster parented a newborn that weighed 4 pounds. But, that's another story. In the end when it was all said and done we did figure out how to be a community and how to live together and put our Faith into Action. We each were baptized Roman Catholic but we had 7 different interpretations of how to live that Faith. It was interesting, at times frustrating and in the end profoundly life changing. I am grateful for my time at Chi Rho and very thankful for the gift of Ms. Meeghan's friendship.

Ms. Meeghan is unique. She is one of the most vibrant, live out loud people I know. Her favorite color is Orange and that sums her up in so many ways. Her soul is the warmest, brightest and most alive of just about anyone I have met. She has endless creative ideas and inspirations and love for God, her family and life.

Over the years as we have moved on from Chi Rho, pursued careers, found our wonderful husbands and have been blessed with our growing families, we have managed to stay in touch as often as possible despite living in different states. Phone calls, letters, emails, and now even facebook have helped us stay connected and current with the ongoings of each others lives. We also try to get together once or twice a year on our own or with our families. And thankfully we have both been blessed with husbands who not only understand how much our friendship means to us, but have also become friends over the years. They have been so supportive in helping us stay in touch and get together when possible. Even though it means a lot of coordinating with all the kids. It is always so much fun to spend time with a Kindred Spirit!

So a few weeks ago when Ms Meeghan traveled to visit us with her son I was overjoyed. Especially since her baby boy is my Godson!! He is a beautiful little guy and I loved being able to spend time with him. He is just a few weeks younger than my Princess and they are definitely Soul Mates! They were so cute together!

Hubby and my parents took turns entertaining my boys so I could have Mama Time with Ms. Meeghan. We took the Princess and my Godson with us shopping and out to lunch. And for 3 days we talked and talked and talked. In fact, we talked so much that Ms. Meeghan left with a hoarse voice. And I needed a 3 hour nap to recover from the visit!

It felt great to have time to talk about life from a faith perspective. From a Soul Perspective.

And we laughed and laughed and laughed!! And we ate. We ate so much comfort food we were sick. We blame it on the Doritos, but it may have been the Doritos combined with the Pizza, Belgium Waffles, Olive Garden bread sticks and salad, mousse cake, chicken parm, pasta, etc. And a GIANT raspberry chocolate heart that Ms. Meeghan brought as a gift and someone may have eaten without sharing with Hubby (just sayin'...)

We nourished our Souls with friendship, food and fun. It doesn't get better than that!!!

Papa's Pirate Party

2011-02-25T10:55:00.001-05:00

We celebrated Papa's Birthday with Pirate cupcakes and paint your own Pirate Ship! The boys were so excited and had been planning for weeks. They love a reason to party and they always enjoy their time with Papa! He is great about teaching them things like gardening and building and letting them use power tools. He takes them out for breakfast and lets them order chocolate chip pancakes and watch Sponge Bob. He lets them pretend to drive his car and run inside the house. He carries them both at the same time even though they weigh a ton!! He taught them how to race remote control cars and he always buys extra batteries for every loud toy they can find. Papa makes time together special and fun and they love that he is their "Buddy." So it was great to spend time celebrating together!

Papa & Princess

Stregga helping Papa party in style!
Bear & Papa
Papa wearing Prayer Shawl I made for him.

Googali aka Gentle Wolf

2011-02-17T07:47:00.005-05:00

Isabella is very fortunate to have not one, but two older brothers! They love her, play with her, watch out for her, teach her, and nickname her. Luccio likes to call her Googali and in this photo I tend to agree she looks like a Googali.

The boys are into imagination and creating new worlds lately. One of their favorite games is pretending to be different magical animals. Luccio is usually Big Bear and Vincenzo is either Daddy Dog or Little Horse depending on his mood and whim. Vincenzo is usually in charge of all things imagination related and thinks of endless scenarios. Sometimes they will let Isabella play with them, but she is almost always "Baby" of whatever species they are playing.

So I was surprised this week when Vincenzo bestowed her the Honor of her very own animal name, Gentle Wolf. I think it fits her beautifully! She is a gentle, loving soul and once a friend told us he thought her eyes reminded him of a Wolf. Since wolves have those gorgeous blue eyes like Isabella, I have to agree.

The Mommy Realm

2011-02-16T07:28:00.000-05:00

Since entering the Mommy Realm, I have learned there are many different labels and divisions set up. I didn't realize how complicated it would be. I thought you have a child, you are a mother, therefore you have that in common with all mothers. Period. But, it's not that simple. The divisions begin the moment you announce your pregnancy to the world. The questions start and categories are assigned. First, is it a boy or a girl? And are you happy about which ever gender it is? If you are not happy would you admit it? Is it a singleton, twins or more?

Will you deliver "naturally?" This in itself is a whole other realm of categories. Natural can mean a baby will make its way into the world through a vagina. But, it also means with or without pain medications, forceps, episiotomies, other interventions, etc. Will you use a midwife, OB or Maternal Fetal Specialist, or Guru? Will your baby be born in a birthing center, hospital or at home? Degrees of motherhood are assigned depending on your answers, your pain tolerance, your pelvic size. And forget the C-Sectioners (like me) we are in a category all by ourselves. Apparently "unnatural" and surgical means direct separation from the women who "birthed" their babies.

Once the baby is out into the world and takes its first breath a new set of standards begin. Is your child a preemie? Does it need breathing help? NICU stay? Or do you have a "healthy, full termer" that goes home in 24 - 48 hours?

Will you bottle feed? If so, will you use expressed breast milk or formula? If you are nursing, do you nurse exclusively? Use bottle sometimes? Use formula to supplement?

Do you use cloth diapers? Disposable diapers? Hybrid diapers? Or a combo of all of the above?

Even sleep separates mothers. As if sleep deprivation is not hard enough. When you actually do get 5 minutes to close your eyes, it REALLY matters to the world HOW you sleep. Do you sleep in your own bed and your baby is in it's own bassinet or crib? Do you share a bed with your baby and/or other family members?

Do you hold baby for all 24 hours of the day? In a sling? In your arms? If you are not holding the baby, who or what is? Different categories are assigned based on your answers and which crowd you are with at the moment you answer. If you are with the Co-Sleepers, you are placed VERY low down on the Mommy Value List if you say your child sleeps in its own bed at an assigned time and sleeps soundly without interference from you. If you have given said child a pacifier to help them do so, your position is lowered even more. If your child sleeps through the night soon after being born, Lord help you around the other Moms, it could get nasty! If you put your child on its belly to sleep, expect gasps and watch yourself because you may be targeted by all kinds of Mommy Groups.

Once you have figured out how baby will eat and sleep and into what they will poop, next is what will you do with that baby? Will you be a stay at home mom? (Otherwise known as a SAHM.) Or will you work? If you are a SAHM, will your child be in playgroups, activities, and learning to read before age 1 or will you hang out all day while your child eats and watches TV? Can there be a combo of both? Probably, but you may not admit it in mixed company depending on which group you are with. Public Enemy Number One is the mother who lets her baby watch TV. So beware!

If you will work outside of your home, will your child be in daycare? Full time? A center?

In-home, etc? This realm is vast and the questions I can imagine are endless. Since I am a SAHM, it is not my territory and therefore I will not venture into categorizing further. But, you get the idea.

Once baby is fed, changed, and signed up for activities or daycare, the next category is: are you a young mom or old mom? The age range changes as your group does. Are you single or married? What is your socioeconomic background? How much education have you received? How about your partner? Is he educated? Does he work? What does he think about all matters? And do you care? Your placement in Mommy Categories changes based on these answers, so think it through before you speak.

Public activities call into question the achievements Baby has made for his or her age. Do they crawl? Walk? Talk? Read? Count? Feed themselves? Where do they poop?? How often?

Your mothering abilities will be judged according to your answers, again think carefully. Do you potty train or toilet teach? Seriously some people care about this in a MAJOR way!

For the first 3-4 years of Baby's life, language distinctions like this will be a big deal!!

If you have made it through all the levels of infanthood with your self-esteem still in tact-good for you!! Yeah!! But, be prepared. Toddler years will be more challenging to you and your mothering position in society. How will you discipline your Darling? Will you use time out or set up a nest for breaks? Will you use the word No or will that be too traumatic? Again be careful how you answer. This will dredge up every emotional issue from everyone's childhood that you can imagine. You will be judged and critiqued and corrected by people you know and people you don't and given silent stares by other Mommies. These stares will NOT be subtle and will convey messages that you will not miss. Its doesn't matter which answers you give, someone will always oppose them and will let you know.

What will your toddler eat? How much pesticide will be in the food and bath products you choose? Will you allow them to eat fast food (most moms will not admit to this, but check their garbages or cars and you will find evidence to the contrary) When will they be done with that bottle?? Do they know how to drink from a cup? Are you STILL Nursing? Can you nurse a toddler that has teeth? Just know that if your child is over 12 months of age, your answers to these questions can and will be held against you. Your mothering abilities will be discussed and judged accordingly. By everyone.

With that said, I wish you the best. I hope as you navigate your way through the Mommy Realm you be fortunate enough to meet Kindred Spirits as I have. I have been so very blessed by good friends and family members that I can count on for support as I figure out which categories I fit in and which values are most important to me and my growing family. I feel like I have been given a protective cocoon to grow in with a wonderful social circle. And it seems like just when I need it most a new Soul will come into my life or an old Friend will reappear and we will discover how much we have in common. I always gain so much insight from these Kindred Spirits and find so much inspiration to be the best Mama I can be no matter what categories I have chosen to fit into (or not). I always try to keep an open mind because you never know what you can learn from other Mommies. When we can look past the labels and relax enough to be ourselves and not judge what the other Mommies are doing, we can truly see that at the core kids are kids and Mommies are Mommies and all the rest just doesn't matter.

Sink Altar

2011-02-15T10:45:00.011-05:00

I have created an Altar of Inspiration in my kitchen. It includes some of my favorite mementos like a card with the image of Our Lady of Lavender and a prayer card with a photo of Mother Teresa, an orange slice with a heart shape in it, a little pitcher from my trip to Assisi, Italy, a rock from Luccio, orchids from my Dad, a Bamboo shoot for good luck, and a wind chime made by Vincenzo. I have also made it my personal mission for the last week to keep the sink clean so that when I wake up in the morning and see my little altar I can start my day off right.

I first got the idea for my altar when I read the book, "Soul to Soul Parenting" by Annie Burnside. The author talks about ways to inspire spirituality in your family. She explores different ways to bring faith into daily life. One of her suggestions is to get kids involved in collecting special mementos on their travels like rocks from outdoors, receipts from trips, etc. Small tokens of things you love. I liked that idea a lot and I thought I needed something inspiring especially since the winter blahs have really gotten to me. I find it difficult to spend much time cultivating my own spirituality lately. And I feel like I have been craving inspiration to get back to that place of peacefulness. So I started with the card I found at a local gift shop. I was immedialtey drawn to the image of Our Lady of Lavender. It is unique and beautiful and I love the depiction of Mary. When I turned it over to find the artists name I found a website: kenosiskards.com. I checked it out and the artist happens to be a woman who was my co-worker and Spiritual Director for many years!! Such a "God-incidence."

That inspired me to be on the lookout for more inspirational nuggets. The other day when I cut open an orange for snack and I look down, the first slice had some orange flesh still inside and it was in the shapeof a heart! God-incidence for sure!

So my Little Altar was really coming together and looking beautiful. The only problem was I had built it above my kitchen sink. A sink that is perpetually full of dirty dishes. I feel like it is always time for a meal, I barely clean up breakfast dishes and the kids are looking for snacks and then it's lunch time. So the dishes build up fast and furious and if I don't keep up with it after every meal I have a mess to deal with after the kids go to bed. If I don't get to them after bedtime, the morning is awful because waking up to dirty dishes puts me in a grumpy mood and makes everything seem like it takes longer to accomplish.

A good friend of mine understands my clutter and need to organize the chaos. She recommended a website that she found helpful so I checked it out. www.flylady.net is a wonderful resource for people like me who have many gifts and talents but find that housework is not one of them. FlyLady suggests starting with baby steps like cleaning your kitchen sink out. She said before you go to bed at night get that sink cleaned! I took her advice and cannot even believe how wonderful it felt. I cleaned out every last dish, cup, sippy cup stopper and piece of silverware and even stored away the dish drainer. That sink sparkled! I felt great! I went to sleep feeling calm and productive. I woke up feeling even better.

When I walked into my kitchen I was shocked by what a difference the empty sink made! The beautiful Altar above it was able to be seen. I was was amazed when I finished the breakfast mess and found myself immediately putting the dishes into the dishwasher. It took me just a few minutes. This may seem like a little thing to someone who is organized and loves cleaning. But, to me it seemed so profound. I had an extra 20 minutes that morning to sit and have coffee. I saved time by having a clean sink. How is this possible?? I wanted to have that feeling every morning. So each night I have been making the effort to clean out the sink. I am finding each day its easier and easier because I have been keeping up with the dishes during the day. So at night I usually just have to wipe things down. Love it!!

Now I admit it has only been 1 week AND the sink is often the only clean and sparkly thing in the house at the end of the day. But, it's a start. And it gives me more time to clean up the table and counters. Which then gives me more time to throw a load of laundry in the washer. Simple steps.

As I plug away at taming the clutter and keeping up after 3 active toddlers, I like the fact that I can glance at my kitchen sink and find inspiration. My Little Altar holds such great reminders of how much love I have in my life. When the kids are unruly I see Mother Teresa holding a little child or Mary holding Jesus and I am reminded of what a Grace motherhood is. I see the flowers from my Dad or gifts from my boys and I am reminded of Love.

"After all what was more important in the end than Love."

Stephanie Meyer

(from lovequotes.com)

Out of the mouths of 4 years olds...

2011-02-11T12:47:00.004-05:00

I went to The Bear's class to volunteer yesterday during their Library time. And a few moments were quite funny, so I have to share. When I arrived, I realized there was an extra adult in the room and it quickly became apparent that she was there to observe Bear's teachers. It was a surprise observation visit - fun times!! Luckily his teacher is awesome and did a fantastic job with the lessons as usual. The kids were singing and dancing to a funny song. Then they read rhyming books related to the letter of the week. But, it's 4 year olds and anything goes.

So during the rhyming story one little boy heard the word "door" and commented that it rhymed with "floor." The teacher said, "That's right, door and floor rhyme." And a little girl raised her hand and said, "And door rhymes with WHORE!" She was very proud of her rhyming skills and beamed a smile. The teacher acknowledge her and kept right on rhyming.

The next lesson was flashcards related to the Letter M. The first card was a picture of a glass of milk. The teacher said, "Milk comes from a cow that says Moo." My sweet son who was sitting next to me looks over and says very loudly, "Ma, that's like the milk from your boobies" And he points to my chest. OMG! I don't know that every single person in the room heard him, but it felt like it. I had to acknowledge him because he was gearing up to repeat himself. So, I quietly looked over and said "you're right." Then I gave him the signal to "zip it" and pay attention.

He is learning important lessons this year like the letter M and that there is some connection between a Cow and his Mama nursing his baby sister. Maybe he is destined for a career in Agriculture or possibly Lactation Consulting?

Happy New Year...Finally

2011-01-13T08:29:00.003-05:00

I haven't blogged since early December, before the holiday craze hit. So, Happy New Year to everyone!! I hope you are having a fantastic 2011 so far! Things are going well here. Holidays were great, we had so much fun at Christmas. They boys really "got it" this year and just enjoyed all the of the celebrating with family and friends. Unfortunately, from Christmas to New Year's Eve I was sick. I had the flu, ughhh. Then Isabella got sick, then Luccio and eventually Cenzo and Hubby. All of the kids had bad coughs and ear infections. It was just so much fun.

By New Year's Eve we were healthy enough to go to my friend Tammy's for a party! Yeah!!!!

It was the best!! Food, wine, music, karaoke, air hockey, nerf "shooters," something for everyone. The adults had fun talking, laughing and dancing and the kids just had a blast playing. I was actually ready to go home around 9 pm because I was exhausted, but I couldn't drag Hubby and the kids out. We ended up staying until after midnight and ringing in the New Year with 2 very awake 4 year olds. It was awesome!! We had so much fun and it was great to bring in the new year laughing!!!

Between everyone being sick and school being canceled due to snow, I have not had time to think about my New Year's Resolutions or goals. But, I think one of my goals is going to be to set some goals. We will see how that goes...

Christmas Live

2010-12-05T11:39:00.007-05:00

Yesterday, we started our Christmas Tree Adventure Tradition!! We took the kids to a local tree farm to chop down the perfect tree for the holidays!!! Growing up, my family always had a live tree. We would go with our cousins and spend hours searching for the perfect tree until we were frozen and then my Dad would chop down the biggest tree we could find. Then he and my brother would drag it miles through the woods and rig it up on top of the car and pray we made it home without the tree flying off. And most years we did, but one year it went flying down a main road!! It was so bad, but so funny!!!! Every year was the drama of dragging the tree into the house. It NEVER looks as big in the forest as it does in the house. But, after some negotiating my Dad would get the tree through the door and into a stand. Then it would take us days to decorate it. The tree would be so big that we couldn't reach the top so only the middle and bottom would get really decorated and then we would get so tired that my brother and I never wanted to finish. It was usually like a scene from "Christmas Vacation." But, those are the memories of Christmas that I treasure!! I loved those days of being bundled up in winter clothes and the thrill of finding that perfect tree and then celebrating with hot cocoa. And then the fun of watching my Dadgo crazy maneuvering the tree and rigging the lights - it was all part of the holiday magic!! LOL!!

This year, I am so happy that we helped our children make those wonderful memories too!!!

Since I married hubby we have had an artificial tree. He was used to that from growing up and he felt that living in an apartment as a bachelor it was easy to keep that tradition. When we got married he wanted to keep the artificial tree because it was easier, then when the kids were born he felt like it was safer. It seemed to make sense and our compromise was that I got live garland to put in the living room so the house would smell like Christmas. Every year when the tree would go up it didn't seem so bad and was sort of pretty. But, I still longed for that real tree!

Finally last year, we agreed it would be the last time for a dusty, fake plastic tree. And this year we would go LIVE for Christmas!!! I was thrilled to start the tradition with the kids now that the boys are old enough to help and have so much fun with the experience.

The kids and I did a practice run with my parents last week when we helped them get their tree. The boys got to help Papa pick out the tree and hold it while he sawed it down. Then they helped drag it through the woods. The boys and I sat in the back of the pick up truck holding the tree as we drove through the parking lot to get it baled, which was the highlight of their day!!! We had hot cocoa in the back of the truck too! Everyone slept great that night!!!

When we went for our tree adventure yesterday the boys were like pros!! They were bundled up and ready to go. They helped Hubby pull the cart, measure the trees, hold it while he sawed and carry it out! They were like little men traipsing through the forest with their Dad!! And our baby Princess loved it too!! She was having a fit to be left on the sidelines so I trekked through the forest with her in the stroller, not easy with tree stumps and rocks, but we made it!

We enjoyed cocoa and gingerbread cookies in the back of the Mom Mobile and then brought home our Christmas Tree to decorate it!! I was proud of how well Hubby did on his first run of Man vs Tree!! He was impressive with the saw andthat tree made it home on top of the minivan without moving an inch!! There wasn't too much chaos getting the tree in the house because Hubby outwitted that tree by using a tape measurer to be sure it fit. The tree stand put up a fight, but Hubby won!!

Luccio was really a stand out Elf this year, decorating the tree with a real sense of purpose!! I supervised all the activity and Hubby strung the lights. The lights were surprisingly easy to untangle which in itself is a miracle of the season! Cenzo was interested in unpacking the decorations, but didn't really feel like hanging ornaments on the tree, so Luccio pretty much did it all!! Isabella scooted around and found just about every chocking hazard she could get her hands on.

It was a great day! After the decorating was done, we sat and enjoyed pizza and looked at the sparkly lights while we watched the Rudolph movie. The smell of pine is filling the house and the green is so vibrant!!

There is nothing that can compare to the feeling of a Live Christmas!!

The Search for Baby's Mama

2010-12-03T12:21:00.005-05:00

Since becoming a big brother, Vincenzo has been fascinated with all things related to babies. He especially loves pregnant Mamas. Whenever we go to the pediatrician's office he takes the free copies of Fit Pregnancy magazine and leafs through looking for the perfect Mama for his future babies. He is always talking about wanting to be a Daddy. He wants to have 2 girls and a boy. He is going to name them Jamie, Caleigh and Vincenzo Jr. He looks through his magazine for the biggest pregnant belly he can find and says, "that is the Mama I want for my babies." Although he has his babies named, he is worried because he doesn't know what their Mama's name will be. He has decided that the mother will be like my Aunt Zhaz because she doesn't yell at her kids and she makes great snacks. (Good criteria, but made me think hmm...guess I'm not the role model mother!")

This week he told me he would like the Mama for his babies to be a tow truck driver. When I said to him, "oh, your wife will be a tow truck driver?" He said, "No silly!! I am not going to marry her!!! She is just going to be my baby's Mama."

OMG.

That's Fitting

2010-11-20T13:02:00.004-05:00

Everyone measures weight loss milestones differently. Some people use a scale, some can tell by the way their clothes fit. For me it's the bath towel. After I had my third child, the bath towel was fitting more like a washcloth. Now that I have lost the pregnancy weight plus 20 pounds, it fits more like a hand towel. It's more comfortable for sure!! But, there is still room to lose more so that it will truly fit like a bath towel should. I feel a lot better than I did last June. Joining Weight Watchers has changed my life in a lot of ways. I am eating healthier (my whole family is), I am moving more, feeling good. I ended October with 43 pounds less that the year before. 22 of those pounds I have lost through WW, learning new tools for success and going to the meetings has helped. But, for some reason November has been tough! I have gained .6, lost 2.8, gained .8, skip 1 meeting. I feel some of it has to do with the change from summer foods to winter foods. There isn't as much variety with fresh fruits and veggies and my standby recipes are not tasting as great now that it's cold out. There is something to be said for the simple yumminess of fresh tomatoes and basil! Another piece of it has to with Hubby working more hours which means less meals together as a family and less time for me to get to my meetings. Also, I have been nursing a little less during the day and I was relying on that instead of working out to burn calories. So I need to readjust my Plan a bit!

After a .6 gain and skipping last week's meeting, I had to work really hard to make myself get out of the house for my 8 am meeting this morning. I dragged myself there and knew that the scale would be up. I felt it. And it was. I gained .8. Amazing how 8 tenths of a pound can change your entire day, life even. .8, ughh!! I was ready to give up and wallow with a peanut butter cup. But, I sat and waited for the meeting to start and read the weekly booklet about making changes. I realized how much I have changed. I have still lost and kept off 41 pounds, I am making healthier choices and feeling like I have more energy. It was good to be reminded that life is small steps and choice and doesn't have to be all or nothing. I need to focus on the Big Picture!

At the end of the meeting the Leader had us do an activity where we stuck all of our name tags together in a pile. She chose me to take the pile of tags home for the week to symbolize the support that I have of all those other people to reach my goals!! It was so thoughtful!!! I felt like it was just what I needed today to get me re-motivated! The room was buzzing with success today. One woman hit her goal weight, another hit the 10% milestone and the guy next to me lost 76 pounds so far!! I feel like if he can accomplish that great goal, I can't let him down. I will do my best to stay with my Plan this week and to stay motivated to reach my goals!!

I will enjoy the holidays with my family and friends and I will enjoy the traditional foods and festivities. And now I will have a reminder with me of all the support that I have in making healthy choices!

I feel confident that I will fit into my bath towel again one day very soon!

The WW quote of the day was:

10% of Life is what happens to me. The other 90% is what I do about it.

-author unknown-

Random Acts of Cleaning

2010-11-19T09:42:00.005-05:00

In the beginning of September I implemented a Chore Chart, it has failed miserably. In theory it worked well...I would clean certain rooms on certain days of the week so that the housework wouldn't get overwhelming and laundry wouldn't pile up. A little each day sounded so much easier than trying to find large chunks of time to speed clean the entire house while the kids were entertained elsewhere (which was very unlikely to happen.) I decided some jobs needed to be done every day like kitchen, dishes, living room, toy pick up etc. And then I designated days for dusting, vacuuming, laundry, bathrooms, bedrooms, etc. On paper it was a good plan, great in fact!! But, it only lasted a week.

The first 2 days I cleaned the kitchen and living room and then moved on to the designated chores for those days. I cleaned for a couple of hours while the boys were at school and the baby napped in the am and then for awhile after everyone went to bed. On the third day Vincenzo didn't have school and followed me around while I tried cleaning, then I had to run errands outside of the house that had been neglected. I still cleaned up the dishes, toys and threw in a load of laundry, but the rest of the list was a washout for the day. On Day 4, I quickly realized that if you skip one day you have even more work on the list for the next. So basically I finished the laundry piles from the day before and moved on the the never ending dishes and eventually got around to throwing toys in bins. I felt great crossing things off the list, but I started skipping around to chores I liked and leaving rooms unfinished because I would start cleaning the boys bedroom and find something that belonged in the living room and then I would start dusting the living room and remember to put clothes in the dryer and before you know it, I was back to my old ways of housekeeping. Which is no plan. Random acts of cleaning.

So the Chore Chart went by the way of the laundry piles and onward I have gone. I try to speed clean in the mornings and after the kids are in bed at night, but it never looks completely finished. Especially with 3 Tornadoes trailing behind me. There is always one more pile, backpack, shoe, dish, something left behind. I feel like there must be an organized way to get things done. I used to work outside of my home and I was productive and actually accomplished tasks. I had a plan. I completed projects. Now, I have piles. Piles of things that need to get done and pile of things I wish I could get done. The Wish Pile includes organizing photo albums, writing thank you notes, going through the bill pile, etc. The Musts include: dishes, laundry, toilets. The essentials. I have tried getting the kids involved with helping. They get magnets on the Chore Board for helping clear the table and making their beds etc. It seems to work, they like the magnets, but you have to be really consistent in reminding and rewarding which gets hectic and Princess can reach the magnets now and is obsessed with putting hem in her mouth. So the boys follow after her screaming, "Chocking hazard!!!!"

I accept that housekeeping is not "my gift" exactly. But, I am hopeful that I can learn ways to fake my way through it a little better! I think since it's holiday time, it wouldn't make sense to overhaul my organization plan (or non plan) because it will go the same way the Chore Chart went. But, for 2011 I am going to put it on the Wish List to make a new plan. One friend suggested the website: Flylady.net It's a great site all about this type of thing. I have read it, but haven't had time to actually try any of the techniques. It's on the Wish List for now.

Basically what I am looking for is: A plan that allows me to have a clean house so that in my rare moments of free time I can relax and not be speeding around moving piles from place to place. A plan that includes being able to actually leave my house now and then to live life, but still maintain an organized house and smooth running schedule. I would love a way to keep dishes and laundry from piling up 3 or more times a day so that I don't have to feel like I am stuck in the Groundhog Day movie and doing the same thing over and over and over. And I would love it if the plan can include a way to figure out how I can spend time cleaning the house and accomplishing projects and THEN have it actually STAY clean for more than 10 minutes. Pretty simple, right?? If anyone has a tried and true suggestion that seems more productive than my Piling System, let me know.

In the meantime I have found some great quotes to comfort and inspire me (taken from www.quotegarden.com/housewrok.html)

You sometimes see a woman who would have made a Joan of Arc in another century and climate, threshing herself to pieces over all the mean worry of housekeeping. ~Rudyard Kipling

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. ~Erma Bombeck

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966

Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don't do it. ~Author Unknown

There was no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. ~Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant, 1968

A clean house is the sign of a boring person. ~Author Unknown

We labor to make a house a home, then every time we're expecting visitors, we rush to turn it back into a house. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

New Mama

2010-11-17T09:37:00.005-05:00

The boys are in a lovely new phase that I like to refer to as "The Threatening Phase." If they don't like what you are saying to them or don't want to do what they are asked, they often reply with a threat, "If you ask me to clean my room again, I will not be your friend." or "if you tell me to shut off that TV I won't like you anymore." The list of threats is endless. But, my favorite was this weekend I told them to get dressed and clean up and be ready to leave for a birthday party we were going to at Chuck E. Cheese. They were procrastinating and stalling and fighting with each other. And I was not happy with their behavior at all! Instead of getting ready as asked, Luccio said, "You are not going to be our Mama anymore. Daddy is our new Mama now."

My reply was, "Oh really? That's nice. Since your New Mama is staying home to clean today, I guess you won't be coming to the party with me and Isabella. Have a fun day!" And I started getting my shoes on.

Immediately both boys were like, "No!! We were only kidding! You are our Mama still. It was just a joke! Hahahhaha. We were kidding Mama! Isn't that a silly joke?"

Yeah. Hysterical.

7 Years...

2010-11-09T10:49:00.005-05:00

Yesterday My Sweetest and I celebrated our 7th Wedding Anniversary! Watching our wedding video has become a tradition each year and it always amazes me to see how much has changed.

We lost my Gram, Poppy, Grandfather and Hubby's cousin Clifford. Yet, we have gained Family. We have become a part of each other's families of parents and brothers and sisters in law, 4 nephews, 1 niece and my Nonnie. We are raising our own family of 3 beautiful children (and remember the 4 angels we lost.) We have been blessed with our Godson, Amadeo. We have our Home together. We treasure old friends and are making new ones. We have gained and lost several pounds each over the past 7 years. Currently we are on a losing streak with weight luckily! We have attended weddings, Baptisms and funerals for family and friends. We have celebrated milestones and holidays. We have gone on family vacations and road trips!! We have hit

rough patches and uncertainty. We have experienced the unexplainable joy of welcoming new lives into the world. We are not as young, naive or blindly optimistic anymore. We know that love, relationships, and family takes hard work, effort and nothing comes without challenges. But, we have learned to face those challenges and work through them together. We have learned to compromise, to communicate and to "go with the flow" a bit. And most importantly even when we are exhausted from the housework, the kids, jobs, bills, yard work, etc. we still try to make time for one another. And because

nothing says I love you better than a shared love of Project Runway, we make sure never to miss a chance to catch up on our fave shows together!

As our wedding song says, "Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be..."

Maya

2010-11-02T07:31:00.003-04:00

Thirteen years ago today I became a foster parent to a newborn baby girl, Maya. I was 22 years old and an idealistic dreamer. I thought I was going to change the world one life at a time. I felt called to become a foster parent and luckily my parents were supportive of my pursuit. I was living at home at the time so it was important that they were open to the idea, since it was their house,LOL!! I have been fortunate that they have always supported me and given me the space and love needed to take chances however crazy it may seem.

It took several months to go through the interview and licensing process. There was lots of paperwork, fingerprinting, background checking, talking, and a home study. Finally, I was licensed and ready to go. It took nearly a year from that point before a baby was actually placed in my care. The agency was a non-profit organization that worked with birth mothers to help them find adoptive placement for their babies. Foster parents were usually only needed on a short term basis. The social worker told me to expect to foster a baby for anywhere from a few days up to 2 weeks. This was to give the birth mom a chance to adjust and change her mind if needed and for final paperwork to be completed before the child was placed with an adoptive family. I received quite a few calls throughout that first year. I would get all ready and then they would call back to say the baby didn't need a foster placement. Either the birthmomchanged her mind or paperwork processed quickly enough that the baby went straight to it's new home.

At 22 life can change rapidly in a year. So, I put foster parenting hopes on the back burner. I graduated college. And I joined a volunteer service corp. I moved into an apartment building with the 7 other members of the corp and I was placed as a volunteer teacher at a school for economically and emotionally disadvantaged children. I adjusted to life in a community with 7 strangers, kind of like the Real World without the cameras or the money! The program was in its early stages and our group was a bit of an experiment. We were given $100 a week to buy groceries and we each had job placements. We also had to fulfill community duties like planning social and spiritual events to build up our relationships. There were 3 women and 4 men, if you could call us that. We were goofballs really and so freakin' young, but anyway that is its own story! So I was immersed in life with my new friends and trying to figure out how to be productive as a teacher working with very challenging students. My friend, Ms. Meeghan and I were placed at the school together. It was a blessing! The apartment we lived in was 40 minsaway from the school. But, the school was just 10 mins. from my parents house. So we spent lots of time visiting my parents and letting them cook for us and relaxed there when we could.

So in the middle of volunteer community madness and challenges, I got a call at the end of that October. There was a newborn who needed immediate foster placement. And so began the "Maya Period" of my life!

I couldn't take time off from my community or my teaching job. But, I couldn't let myself turn down this baby! The religious leader of the school I taught in heard of the call and adamantlyexpressed her dislike of the idea. But, reinforcements came in the form of my parents and Ms.Meeghan. Together we worked out the logistics it would take to fully support the needs of this baby. And the social worker assured me it would be for just a few days.

And so I went to the hospital to pick up the baby. My parents came with me. The social worker thought it would be a good idea because the birth mom wasn't much younger than I was so she felt it would make a better impression to have older people with me. Whatever!

The first time I set on eyes on Maya was shocking. She was the tiniest baby I had ever seen( up to that point in my life) she weighed exactly 4 pounds. Her skin was dark, almost red and she had a mass of jet black hair. And she was screaming at the top of her lungs. This loud, ear piercing screeech!!!! I held her and she felt so fragile!!! Her head fit in my palm. She was 2 days old. And the doctor was going to release her to me. What had I gotten myself into??

We took Maya home. And she stayed, not for a few days, or weeks, but for 3 months!! The longest foster placement the agency had to date. So for the first week I thought "well, she will be going back soon, so I won't get attached." I am just babysitting. Well, my the second week I was in love, unconditionally and forever in love with that tiny little baby. It didn't matter that she had the worst colic i had ever seen, that she screamed nearly all night and most of the day. When she looked up at me with her jet black eyes, I melted. I had never loved anyone so fully and unconditionally as Maya, not until my sons were born 9 years later.

My parents, especially my father took care of Maya while I worked. Not many people beside my Dad could get her to settle down once she started screaming. He would walk her for hours, he would wrap her in blankets and sleep in a chair with her. He even filled soda bottles with warm water and packed them near her when she was sleeping in her moses basket so she wouldn't be cold or cranky.

She stayed with me at my apartment too and my roomies loved her and helped care for her. Especially Ms. Meeghan, she was so wonderful with Maya. I mostly took them up on their offers to help in the middle of the night when I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and she refused to sleep.

But, during the day I was possessive and stingy with her. I held her constantly. Over winter break from teaching, I became even more attached because I was with her full-time. It got to the point where I couldn't leave her, I just didn't want to put her down. By that point she had started recognizing me and smiling and I would have gone to the ends of the earth for her.

Throughout the 3 months we got many calls and made many trips with Maya back and forth to the agency. First, birth mom wanted her to be adopted, then changed her mind, then back to adoption. She was a teen with 2 other children. She wanted so badly to keep her baby but it didn't seem feasible. The adoptive family had their hopes up and them dashed over and over. And then it seemed on Christmas Eve it was set she would go to her adoptive home. I had mixed feelings at that point. I had gotten to know her mom and knew she was struggling with the decision. I had gotten to know Maya and I was struggling with the idea of letting her go. And then in rode The Knight to the rescue. Maya's father was contacted to sign the paperwork. He hadn't known she existed and this knowledge changed everything. He wanted to meet her. So we went to meet him. He was torn. He knew she had an adoptive family ready to take her. But, in the end he couldn't let her go. After much thought and another month it was decided Maya's father nixed the adoption and took her home with him.

And that is when the hard part began for me. I had to pack up that tiny little girl. Well, she had doubled her birth weight, but was still only 8 lbs and so tiny!!!! She was no longer colicky and become a smiling happy infant. I packed up her clothes, the endless piles of clothes that my family and friends and I had bought for her. She was just the cutest baby anyone had ever seen. Her skin had lost that red and blossomed into a deep, dark chocolate. Her hair began to curl into the softest waves, it felt like feathers!!! And she was always dressed in gorgeous ensembles with matching headbands. She was a little doll. She affected lots of people. Strangers at the mall would even fuss over her and come up to talk to me about her and want to hold her!! My family members fell for her head over heels!! Everyone from my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins loved her. She got so many gifts that Christmas it was crazy!!!

The day before she had to leave I spent time finishing the photo journal I had made for her. And I held her for hours. I said goodbye and thought I would be okay with that.

The next evening my parents and I drove her to the agency meet with her father. I held her while she visited with her mother. Her mom was happy Dad was taking her, but unsure if she would see her. So it was a sad goodbye. She kept the journal I had made for Maya and was so grateful to have that memento.

I broke all the rules with the goodbye, I had written a note to her dad and tucked it in with her belongings. The social worker hadn't wanted me to give her clothes and things to the father, so I kept them in the car and asked him come outside to get them. I put my phone number in the letter so he would have a way to contact us if he had any questions. Handing Maya over to a complete stranger was heart-wrenching, even if he was her father. He didn't know her schedule, her quirks, the way she liked to be held, he didn't know she only liked to sleep while you held her or tucked into her moses basket. I wrote it all in the letter. I had to. I couldn't leave her with nothing.

I handed her to the social worker and she she would bring Maya to her dad in the other room. I had thought I would be able to hand her to him. The social worker thought since I had said goodbye to her I would be fine with it. Well, I wasn't. I freaked out. Not being able to see her with him sent me over the edge. I cried the entire way home and the whole night and the next day and the day after that. I cried until my eyes hurt and my head felt like it was going to explode. I cried until I was so sick to my stomach that I threw up.

And then he called. Thank God!! He had read my letter, he said he knew how much my family loved her and how we had grown attached to her. He thanked us for taking such good care of her. He said she was doing really well and that her grandmother was helping him take care of her and loving her so much. He said he found out quickly that she liked to sleep while being held and that she could be demanding in getting her needs met. But, he loved it!! And he loved her!!

And so that was that. I went back to work the next day. And back to my community and roomies. And days passed. And most days were ok, but then I would hear a song or see a baby or remember her smell and I would lose it all over again. And that went on for a few weeks. And then it got easier and winter turned to spring and I got more and more into my teaching. And life went on.

I would still pray to hear from her father again. But, I knew I wouldn't. The social worker had heard about our call and wasn't happy. She said further contact should go through the agency. She called me with another baby needing foster care a few weeks later. But, I couldn't do it. It was too soon. And too hard to lose Maya. So, I had to decline.

About a year later I was at the mall and I heard a man's voice. My neck snapped around and my ears perked up. I KNEW that voice. I saw the man and I KNEW that face. A face that will forever be etched in my memory. It was Maya's father. He was standing right in front of me. I don't know if he recognized me at first but the words were pouring out of me before I could think clearly and I told him who I was and asked him about Maya. He said she was at his mother's house close by. He took my number and said he would call me and if I wanted to visit her I could. I was ecstatic!!!!! He kept his word and called me the next day. He said his mom wouldn't mind if I visited Maya at her house the next day. Ironically, I happened to be leaving the next day to go to England with a group of friends. I told him I would be back the following week and could I see her then. He said yes and that he would call me. I didn't have his number and I never heard from him again.

And over the last 13 years I think of Maya every so often. Sometimes not for months and then something will remind me it will all come back to me again. Especially today, her birthday!

I watched Rosie O"Donnell's movie, America. It is about kids in the foster care system, it is heartbreaking.

My Maya was different than the kids Rosie was talking about, but still it reminded me of her. She was lucky. She didn't have to feel abandoned or unwanted. Everyone wanted Maya, her mother, her father, her adoptive family, my family, and me. She was loved. And now that she is 13 years old, I have to believe that she is still loved and living a good life. I HAVE to believe that!

I went into the foster parent endeavor hoping to change lives, but in the end it was Maya who changed my life and she will forever hold a piece of my heart.

Princess Party

2010-10-31T08:27:00.005-04:00

My brother's fiancee walked in to Isabella's 1st Birthday party and couldn't get over all the Princess-ness of it all. She said she didn't realize what a big deal a first birthday would be. I had to laugh! I had just told Hubby as we were preparing for the party, that this was a BIG day for me. And for Isabella too of course. I have waited 35 years to celebrate my daughter's first birthday. From the time I could crawl I played with dolls and was always a "Mommy." And I always pictured myself someday with a baby girl dressed in pink and bows and tiaras. My boys were a nice surprise times 2!! Twin boys were a possibility that I never saw coming, LOL! It's fun being a mother of boys. I get lots of love and hugs and adventure with them. And I get to see the world from a different perspective as I try to raise Men who will contribute something special to our society. But, there is something about having a daughter that makes me feel part of something infinite. From the beginning of time Mothers and Daughters have passed traditions on that helped shape the lives of their families and society as a whole. To have that connection to the past and that hope for the future is an awesome experience. I look at Isabella and I think of how blessed I am to be a part of her life. We have had an amazing first year together. And since this is my third baby I know that there is no year like the first. Snuggling and nursing around the clock. Being the light of her life. Being the person that comforts her through all of life's circumstances, being her guide, her nurturer, her source of nutrition. I have a role in her life right now that has a limited time frame. Every day I see myself moving to the side a bit as she grows into herself more and more. Her personality is emerging, her likes and dislikes are being communicated loud and clear now. She wants to get down, she wants to explore and find out for herself what is going on in the world. So I know it will be time soon to step back and let her be her own person. I really enjoyed this first year. I love that special time of being with a newborn baby and giving them everything you have to give in all aspects. But, there is something wonderful about watching a toddler find out how things work that is awe inspiring. So I know I will enjoy this next phase too, just like I do with her brothers. I can only hope that as she grows I will be able to foster a relationship with her like my mother did with me. To have that kind of connection where you can know you are loved 100% no matter what is the best and I want Isabella to know that feeling. My Mom is my best friend in the world and I hope one day my Baby Girl will think the same way of me. In the meantime I am enjoying every minute of the dresses, tiaras, and sparkle while she still likes it!!

"The formative period for building character for eternity is in the nursery. The mother is queen of that realm and sways a scepter more potent than that of kings or priests."

~Author Unknown~

Measuring Up

2010-10-21T09:14:00.005-04:00

There are different degrees of friendship and over the years those relationships change and shift over and over again. But, it's a true friend that can come over for a visit and see your life in it's "natural state." Some people you may need to spend 2 days cleaning and scrubbing in preparation for their visit, others you may just run a vacuum over scuzzy floors and put on a bra. And then there are the friends that you are comfortable with and know will accept you no matter what and those poor friends get no prep time whatsoever. The Better the Friendship~The More Mess you can leave around!! Yesterday my friend Shannon came to visit. We have been friends since college. She knows me well. We only get to talk every so often and visit a couple times a year, but we always pick up right where we left off. I was excited for her visit, especially since it was the 4th night in a row that Hubby was working late and I was home alone for the dinner and bedtime routine with the kids. Reinforcements were greatly needed and much appreciated and I was so happy to have someone keep me company!! I ran around all day dropping the kids off at school, meeting up with my brother, picking up kids from school having a playdate with one of Cenzo's friends. So by 3pm when I got home with all the kids I had no energy left. By some miracle they all went for nap and I looked around at the laundry piles, dishes and overall mess and thought I really should clean before Shannon gets here. But, instead I sat on the couch and woke up an hour later when Shannon knocked on the door. I made a half hearted attempt to apologize for the smell of dirty diapers that permeated the air and the piles of kids stuff strewn about. But, Shannon assured me she didn't care and I was just tired enough to believe her. She jumped right in helping me get the kids up from nap and entertaining them while I made dinner and then we got everyone fed. After dinner, she graciously offered to entertain the Little Ones while I checked emails and took a hot bath. DELIGHTFUL!! I was so excited for that break! And the kids LOVED having time with Auntie Shan. She did puzzles with them and played with toys. And at bedtime she settled the boys down with bedtime books and stories while I put the Princess to sleep. Having the extra help was so nice and everyone slept so good!! I loved getting to chat with Shannon and catch up on her life amid all of the chaos!! I was happy that my "real life" didn't bother her. Even though though it was busy, it was relaxing too because I didn't feel pressure to entertain, I was able to just be myself and the kids were certainly comfortable enough to be themselves. Poor Shannon!!

The best part is the smell, the mess and the noise didn't scare her off. She even offered to babysit the Littles so Hubby and I can go out one night! OMG!! Friends like that are PRICELESS!!!!!

The Betch Video

2010-10-03T21:23:00.000-04:00

Here is The Betch Story straight from Luccio. Enjoy!!

The Betch

2010-10-03T20:00:00.000-04:00

The other day Luccio proclaimed, "Mama you're a betch!" He said it with such zeal and pride and kept on saying it. My immediate thought was "who has been talking about me in front of him??" The list of possibilities is long. Hmmm.... I wasn't sure how to address it so I did what most Moms would do (especially the betches) and I ignored it. Finally, when he said it again a few days later I realized what he meant. He came up to me and with such love said, "Mama you're a betch! You're a betch ever Mama." Hubby and I looked at each other. Luccio said again, "You're a betch ever, EVER!!"

Then it hit me and I said, "I am the BEST ever?"

"Yeah, Mama!! You are a Betch EVER!"

Oh, I love that little Bear!!

Pretty Pig

2010-09-27T17:18:00.000-04:00

I felt good this week, very motivated by weight loss and exercise AND THEN...I got in the car yesterday to help Cenzo buckle his seatbelt and he exclaimed, "You are a Mama Pig! You are so big you take up the whole car!!" "OMG! You think I look like a pig??"

Luccio chimed in, "Yeah, you're a Pretty Pig, Mama." Good save Luccio, now I feel much better.

Thanks.

Walk Away

2010-09-22T10:25:00.002-04:00

The only exercise I have done in the last 10 months is pump milk and occasionally move the vacuum around the house. As Luccio would say, "I'm not kidding!" So last week when I started my new walking routine my body was in shock!! Nursing and pumping milk is no joke. You burn around 20 calories per ounce, so roughly 400 calories a day for me. When I finally dragged myself onto the treadmill last week it took me 48 minutes of walking moderately to burn that much. When I first joined WW, it was enough for me to start figuring out what to eat and when. I couldn't even begin to think about exercising, but now that it was been over 2 months, my body seems to be craving exercise. My WW Leader said we should refer to it as "Activity" because that has positive connotations of fun, etc. And "Exercise" brings up negative connotations like boring, work, sweat, torture, etc. Either way the plan was to eat less, move more.

So I dropped the boys off at school and went directly to the park with the Princess in her stroller. Once around the track is . 6 miles. I did 3 laps. The 1st lap I was so slow that the elderly were just whipping past me. By the time I was halfway around I was hunched over the stroller gasping for breath. I was coming up to a Giant Mountain (aka slight incline) and I thought to myself, My God, am I so out of shape that I can't walk?? And then just briefly I looked around and realized I was practically alone in a wooded place (aka pretty populated park with paved paths surrounded with trees) and I could pass out and it might be hours before anyone found me. Then I remembered the elderly were there, just moving so fast I couldn't see them and I felt much better. At least they were in good shape if I needed to be carried out of the woods.

By the end of the 2nd lap I was starting to breath again and walking with my back a little straighter. My legs felt energized and I couldn't stop walking. I saw my car and desperately wanted to get in and drive to Dunkin Donuts for an iced coffee, but my legs kept walking. By the end of the 3rd lap I was downright invigorated!! I felt fantastic and motivated and all those crazy things. Enough so, that I ended up walking 3 more times that week. I went to the park again, I walked on the treadmill at home, and I took the boys bike riding to the cemetery and walked there. Yeah, that may sound morbid, but in my family the cemetery is so beautiful and park-like that we visit often. The roads are quiet with barely any cars, so its great for walking/biking and we get a visit in to Great Grandfather. The kids love going there and its good exercise. Whatever works!

Hubby made me an excellent mix of workout music for the i-pod and Isabella is a great walking partner because she loves being outside and falls asleep in the stroller. I enjoy the time to just think and ponder and when I can breath enough oxygen in I sometimes have profound thoughts walking out in those woods. So, I ate less, moved more and it showed on the scale. I lost 2.2 pounds bringing the total to 17.8 pounds. I felt good. But, the quote of the week reminded me that its not only about losing the pounds its about keeping them off, I still have a long way to go. The quote was helpful though, "Do not brag about your pace, slow and steady wins the race." Which is good because at 22 minutes a mile it may take me a while to get anywhere.

Never Ebber

2010-09-16T08:14:00.000-04:00

The new phrase around here is Never Ever!! And it is one of those cases of Monkey See, Monkey Do. Vincenzo asked for milk, I gave him a glass. He is drinking it and says to me, "You NEVER let us have milk." And Luccio says, "Yeah, you Never, EBBER let us." And so it began...

While riding bikes, Vincenzo says, "You NEVER let us ride bikes." Luccio agrees, "Yeah, you never EBBER let us."

While taking a bath, "You NEVER let us take a bath." "Yeah, you never EBBER let us!"

On the way home from visiting my parents for the third time this week, "You NEVER let us visit Stregga." "Yeah we never EBBER visit!"

While watching Dora the Explorer last night, "You NEVER let us watch Dora." "Yeah, you never EBBEr let us!"

The first round of never from Vincenzo is funny enough, but Luccio's emphasis on never,

EV-ER, just makes it that much funnier.

At first, I found it enormously frustrating! And I wanted to reply, "Hey guys, you are drinking milk, riding bikes, and bathing while you watch tv AT Streggas- OK!!!!!"

But, I took the high road and just laughed at the irony instead. And once in a while I chime in and agree, "Yeah, I NEVER, EVER let you do ANYTHING!" That catches them by surprise and they crack up!

Mama Hawk

2010-09-12T20:55:00.000-04:00

Tonight after I put the kids to bed, Vincenzo woke up crying. When I went in to check on him he said he had been having a nightmare. This has been happening for the past week or so since Hubby started back to work. Lots of changes going on, the boys turned 4, they started back to preschool, Hubby isn't home as much at bedtime. I have been trying to reassure the kids by sticking with our bedtime routine of bath, books, prayers, etc. I also let Cenzo sleep with my "purple blanket" that my Mom made for me and I put "Angel" lotion on both boys to protect them from bad dreams. All of that and a nightlight seems to ease it a bit, but the bad dreams are still randomly happening. I feel so bad for him because I know how scary that can feel and how real nightmares can seem.

Tonight, he when he woke up shortly after bedtime, I reassured him by telling him that God gave Mama's special hearing. When a Mama has a baby her new hearing turns on and she can hear everything. I told him if he was down the street I would hear him, if he was in another town I would still hear him if he needed me. And I would come to get him right away.

He said, "Oh! You're a Mama Hawk!"

I wish I could take credit for educating the boys about the special hearing abilities of Hawks, but that credit goes to Diego. Either way, I was impressed with his connection. And it made him feel much better that I was a Mama Hawk instead of regular ol' me. So he drifted calmly off to sleep. I just hope he sleeps well and those Hawk abilities help keep the bad dreams away (***knock wood***)

Dear Saint Anthony

2010-09-05T08:16:00.001-04:00

St. Anthony is best known as The Patron Saint of lost things. In other words he helps people find things. I often ask him for help and almost always get a response right away. My Cousin lost her diamond wedding band and we said a prayer for St. Anthony to help find it and I kept picturing it in a yellow room. Sure enough she found it in her son's yellow bedroom where he had "the treasure" safely hidden. Another time I lost a brand new shirt that I wanted to wear and kept picturing it under my dresser. I searched and only found a canvas beach bag. However, when I pulled the beach bag out, there was the new shirt inside!

Yesterday we were at a birthday party and I noticed Isabella's bracelet was missing. We searched everywhere, but I couldn't even remember if she had it on that day at all or not. When we got home we looked through some old pictures and the last time she had the bracelet on was Aug. 16th. It had been missing for weeks and I didn't even notice. My Aunt gave her and the boys these beautiful gold bracelets when each of them was born and they had been wearing them since. It has great sentimental value and I treasure it! Well, we said a prayer to Saint Anthony and I kept picturing her crib. So i searched through the bedding and bumpers etc. No bracelet. Cenzo heard me talking about it to Hubby and he said asked if we checked under the bed. And sure enough, there was the bracelet!!

Saint Anthony has a special place in my heart (not just for finding things!) When I was trying to get pregnant I met a friend, Sister Mary Anthony and she gave me a relic of Saint Anthony (a piece of his bones in a small jeweled box) and oil from Padua, Anthony's birthplace. I used that oil every day until the boys were safely delivered. And Hubby often joked, "its not a party until my wife takes out the relics." My boys each have the middle name Anthony, they share that middle name with my brother and nephew. My Dad and my Poppy are also named Anthony. When my Poppy died 3 years ago I inherited his St. Anthony statue which sits in a prominent place of honor in our house. I have since returned the relic to Sr. Mary Anthony. And I have passed the oil on to a friend who was struggling with infertility and she is now expecting her first baby in October.

Prayer to Saint Anthony, Performer of Miracles

Dear St. Anthony, your prayers obtained miracles during your lifetime. You still seem to move at ease in the realm of minor and major miracles. St. Anthony, Performer of Miracles, please obtain for me the blessings God holds in reserve who serve Him. Pray that I may be worthy of the promises my Lord Jesus attaches to confident prayer. (Mention your special intentions.)

Seeking a Lost Article
Dear St. Anthony, you are the patron of the poor and the helper of all who seek lost articles. Help me to find the object I have lost so that I will be able to make better use of the time that I will gain for God's greater honor and glory. Grant your gracious aid to all people who seek what they have lost---especially those who seek to regain God's grace. Amen.

Prayers from the website: http://www.2heartsnetwork.org/Anthony.htm

Happy Birthday

2010-09-04T10:19:00.000-04:00

We celebrated Vincenzo and Luccio's 4th birthday this week! They have come a long way since they were preemies in the NICU!! We have so much to be thankful for and have met so many angels on our journey to becoming a family!!

Hubby made this video for a March of Dimes contest a couple years ago. It beautifully captures a bit of what that first year was like from the challenges to the celebrations!

We are grateful for the support of all of our family and friends, especially: my mother who stayed with me every day through the worst of it, my Dad who visited as often as possible and called me daily with words of encouragement, Hubby's parents who checked in daily with calls and drove up to visit with pasta and chicken parm that I was craving from my favorite restaurant as often as possible, for friends who offered kind words, phone calls, emails, visits, books, crossword puzzles, snacks, and prayers!!

And we are so thankful for the compassionate and skilled Doctors and Nurses who cared for me during my pregnancy and 10 weeks of hospital bedrest! They were wonderful!! I cannot thank the nurses enough for the care that they provided. During my stay I really got to know the staff. I felt like each shift there were the “regulars” who would be taking care of me. Each of them went above and beyond the “call of duty.” I never had anyone speak unkindly to me or treat me with impatience or disrespect even on my worst days. The staff became my teachers, my cheerleaders, and my confidants.They were my angels. I felt that with their help I was able to make informed decisions and be prepared for all that came along with pre-term labor, medications, tests, the early birth of my babies and caring for newborns in the NICU.

Thank you to the amazing doctors and nurses that took care of the boys during their 4 week stay in 3 different NICUs!! And for the resources provided by The March of Dimes. Today they are happy, healthy little boys!! They over came so many challenges, especially Luccio who had 5 surgeries in his first 2 years.

I couldn't let this birthday milestone pass without remembering the wonderful people who helped us get here!! Sometimes people come into your life for just a short while at just the right moment and make all the difference~ FOREVER!!

Thank you to all of our angels!!

"I Love Boobies" Bracelet Banned

2010-09-02T13:44:00.000-04:00

Nerd Mother didn't see this one coming! Interesting link: KDLT.com South Dakota News - "I Love Boobies" Bracelet Banned From Baltic School

Not Alone

2010-08-31T20:30:00.000-04:00

This morning I had a lot to do, but I wasn't sure where to start. So I thought I would write a To-Do list. I couldn't escape the boys talking and questions long enough to get a word on paper, so I hid in the bathroom with my notebook and pen. Cenzo came bursting in and said, "Mama, what are you doing in here?" I explained that I needed about five minutes of alone time so that I could write a list of things we needed to do for the day.

He looked at me and said, "But, you are not alone. I'm in here, Silly."

Thank You Summer

2010-08-30T08:42:00.000-04:00

"The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread."

-Mother Teresa
What an amazing summer it was! I feel like a lot of progress was made towards reaching goals both personally and as a family! I cleared some clutter and shed almost 15 pounds in the process! I kept having the soundtrack from Hairspray playing in my mind. The song, "Good Morning Baltimore" starts with the line "I wake up as always, hungry for something that I can't eat." And I realized this summer that the song had a deeper meaning in my life than just a catchy beat. I kept thinking I have everything I want, what is it that I am hungry for?? Is it really pasta, bread and peanut butter cups??

The last 6 years of my life have been about babies. Trying to get pregnant, trying to stay pregnant, gaining weight with each pregnancy and miscarriage. Sleepless nights and endless days following the arrival of each child and adjusting to being a family. I have been putting every effort into my motherhood, it is the very core of of who I have become. It dawned on me this June that I need to be putting in quality in order to get quality out of myself. So to be the best mother I am capable of being, I need to be the best person I am capable of becoming. I took inventory of my life and tried to target the key areas that are essential to my new life as wife and mother and to the ME that is now a 35 year old woman who has some life experience and has known love and heartbreak and the unconditional bond that comes with bringing 3 lives into the world. I know that I can function daily and get dressed and feed everyone, but I want more than that. I want my children to have more than a watered down version of life. I want to live an inspired life. I want it to be about more than the material goods that can be bought and consumed. I want it to be about the sacred, the Divine, the miracles. When I really thought about it, I knew in my heart of hearts that I had lost my Center. I had not focused on spirituality in a profound way in a long time. I attend Mass when I can, I pray at meals, bedtime etc. with the kids. But, my own spirituality had gotten lost in the shuffle. My soul's health and my body's health had been tossed to the wayside. It was an empty feeling. So I needed to build myself back up to full strength!

I did a major overhaul of priorities and started focusing on being healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually by clearing out junk food from the cabinets and negative energy from my life. It is unreal how a positive attitude towards life can be so effective.

Hubby and I really worked as a team to make sure we were all eating healthy and having fun as a family. We made a concentrated effort to buy more whole grain and organic foods, cook meals at home and eat dinner as a family as much as possible.

We also took a break from a set schedule, but still kept our balance and routine so we still had the same flow of the day for the kids, but in a relaxed way that makes summer such a special time! We took Road Trips to Sesame Place & Vermont. Hubby took each of the boys to Yankees Games individually for some Guy Time! The kids and I spent summer days going to amusement parks, beaches, museums, the zoo, and other fun Field Trips with various family and friends. And I spent a few days here and there getting in refreshing breaks and even attended a retreat!! It was energizing! And I have made a real commitment to attending Weight Watchers meetings.

Around the house we made some real strides in organizing the clutter than can easily take over a small house with 5 people in it. We designated areas for each person and rearranged some rooms to maximize the space we do have. Just by changing the furniture around in my bedroom it cleared away a lot of the mess and chaos that was stressing me out. We cleaned the garage out and reorganized the playroom. And the other day the kids were all playing. In the playroom. With toys. It was nothing short of a miracle!

We have had more Pajama Days, more Family Movie Nights. Summer life was good for us. It gave us all a chance to spend more time together. It also gave us a chance to reevaluate what is important to us as a Family. Now that we have 2 Big Kids and a baby, our needs are different. The boys are not little babies anymore and need more independence and responsibility and time on their own. They have dreams, imaginations, concerns and hopes that are now a part of our considerations when we make a plan. They have gifts, talents, personalities that enhance each experience! Isabella has her own unique set of needs and qualities that she adds to our family dynamic. She has a brand new outlook on life, everything is exciting and wondrous! She allows us to slow down, to stop and take breaks to enjoy life and take in our surroundings. When she needs to be nursed the world stops for 10 minutes. It gives us all centering time to regroup and breathe a bit no matter where we are.

I am happy to have taken 14.4 pounds off. I have lost the weight I gained with Isabella and the weight I gained with the boys. I still have a lot more to go, but I feel good. And I know it is not about food or pounds. I am surrounded with Love, with good people: my husband, my kids, my family & friends. Life is good!!

I will miss Summer! It was good to us. I want to hold onto it forever!! And as I go into the Fall and Winter I will keep reminding myself of a quote that I read:

"There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart." - Celia Thaxter

Cenzissimo

2010-08-27T01:40:00.000-04:00

Vincenzo is a talker. He talks from the minute his eyes open in the morning. The only breaks he takes from talking is his nap and when he passes out from sheer exhaustion at night. He has a wide variety of vocabulary and different accents depending on his mood. I can't help laughing at some of his unique pronunciations and phrases!

Some of my favorites include:

~The Hoard- as in: "Hail Mary, The Hoard is with Thee" ~Winnie- as in "My name is not Winnie, it's Wincenzo"

~Kajamas- as in "I need to put my kajamas on for bedtime."

~Uccio- as in "This is my brother Uccio, we are twins."

~Tawget- as in "Tawget is the best store."

~Actually- this is his "Word of the Week." It can be used in several phrases, but his most popular is: "Actually we can get that at Tawget." (see above)

Another prominent Cenzo Phrase is: "I have to tell you something." And let me tell you, when you hear that phrase, you know it won't be a short story!

He remembers everything and he will use it against you, so be warned!!

He is a rule follower and expects that everyone else will be too. And he does not mind telling the rules to those around him, even if they didn't ask or do not want to know.

But, most of all he is a loving, kind, intelligent and sensitive little boy. He takes in the world around him, internalizes everything and makes it a part of his schema for future reference. And at the end of the day when all is SAID and done, my most favorite words in the world are,

"I love you Mama. You are my best Mama ever."

Nerd Mother: The Next Generation

2010-08-22T19:11:00.000-04:00

My brother and I used to make fun of my Mom because she is somewhat gullible, especially when it came to our teenage trickery. Well, I realized that I am just like her when I got totally BAMBOOZLED by my 13 year old nephew! It started out innocently enough, he asked to go to the Mall to buy a bracelet. He said he thought the bracelet was around $5. No problem! The kids and I were so excited to be spending time with Nikko that I jumped at the chance to take him shopping. And my boys love going to the Mall so we were on our way. We went to Zumiez, a skateboarder store. I have been there before with Nikko and we walked out with a skateboard so I knew to have a better plan in place this time. But, we were just there for a bracelet...

Of course, we had to look at the shirts on sale and the shoes, bracelets were quickly forgotten. I am used to shopping for toddlers so the price tags were much bigger than in the baby stores. So we agreed on a budget and then I left him to shop. Well, 30 minutes later we were checking out with sneakers that were a "smidge" more than we budgeted for, but stylish!

Of course, at the register...there were The Bracelets. He asked if he could still get the bracelet too. Well, sure. That is why came here after all. So we get the bracelet, get our bags and off we go.

We load up the car, 2 toddlers, 1 infant, 1 stroller, several bags and a teenager.

As I am driving out of the parking lot, I look over and notice the bracelet. It's black with white writing. Hmmmm, what does that say??? He moves his arm so I get a closer look and it says...

I Love Boobies.

OMG!!! I just bought him an I Love Boobies bracelet??

I never thought to look at the bracelet BEFORE we bought it. I was just happy he wanted a bracelet and that it only cost $5.

I am Nerd Mother.

But, he assured me the bracelet is to raise awareness for Breast Cancer Research and it was a charitable thing to do. So I feel much better.

Big Ideas

2010-08-12T19:40:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I locked myself and the 3 kids out of the house AND car, ughhhh! Its always hectic getting out the door and we were on our way to pick up my nephew and then dogsit for Stregga and Papa's babies. I had the bags, the snacks, the kids, etc. But, once we slammed the house door shut behind us, I realized I had not put the car keys in my pocket, but had instead grabbed my house phone. Hmmm...I blame it on Mommy Brain sorta of like when I found the roll of paper towels in the fridge the other morning. Either way, it was hot and the kids were ready to go and no keys. So, immediately Vincenzo and Luccio started coming up with "big ideas" to help. As I dumped every bag out on the lawn searching frantically, they came up with solutions. Cenzo thought we should "use a big stick and pry the house door open." Luccio thought we should "use a water pistol and spray the door down." Both very creative ideas!! And I must admit far better ideas than my own, which was to sit on the lawn and cry.

Normally I would have called my father. He is like McGuyver and he would have come over and widdled a new key out of tree bark or taken the door off the hinges with his pocket knife. But, he and Mom were away hence the dog sitting. So instead I called my brother and sobbed my story to him, forgetting that it was his birthday AND that he was on his way to Boston to have surgery. (Yeah, I can be a bit self-absorbed at times. But, I guess that is pretty obvious since I have an entire blog dedicated to my ramblings.)

Anywhoo--Luckily my little brother had a few minutes to spare and talked me successfully through putting my library card to good use. I was pretty determined to figure out a better solution than having Hubby drive 35 minutes home and then back to work again. So Chad saved us all a lot of trouble by coming through in a pinch with some very useful skills!

The boys were a bit disappointed to not be able to use sticks or weapons to help out, but I assured them there would most likely be a next time so we could save the big ideas for then.

Papa's Papoose

2010-08-11T10:10:00.000-04:00

The kids and I went to the Zoo with my Dad the other day. It was so much fun! They absolutely loved being with Papa! On the car ride to the Zoo, Cenzo kept saying, "I love you so much Papa." He also kept telling me that it would be okay if I wanted to stay home so they could go out with Papa without me. Stinker!!! Luckily, Luccio can always be counted on and he piped up, "I love you always Mama." Oh, my Bear! So glad I did take the ride with them. We had a great day. We walked around checking out the animals for a couple hours and then took the boys on the Carousel. Even our Little Princess loved it!! Papa carried her around in the Papoose for most of the time and she couldn't have been happier! There really isn't anything better than watchingthe kids enjoy themselves so thoroughly! The Zoo is small enough and we have been there often enough that they boys can easily guide themselves through it using the map you get at the entrance. They havethe place memorized, but think they are reading the map. Also, there are paw prints painted throughout the Zoo so they get a kick out of trying to guess what animal left them and following the paw prints. Papa had a great time too! And he bought us the Zoo Membership so we can go back again and again.

Stopping to Smell the Roses

2010-08-09T17:28:00.000-04:00

I have been very fortunate this summer to have Hubby home more than he would be during the school year. I have had some fantastic opportunities to get refreshing breaks from the daily duties of being a SAHM. Last week I went to The Casino to celebrate Crazy Cousin's 35th and Mom & I made a stop at Ender's Island Retreat Center on the way back. And this weekend Mom and I went to Wainwright House for a Holistic Health retreat on the Harbor. Both were wonderful experiences that renewed my spirit.

The casino celebration for Crazy Cousin was a lot of fun. We were born 8 months apart and spent a lot of time together growing up. I have great memories, especially of our endless summers. We would spend weeks at my house watching The Princess Bride over and over and over and swimming in the pool. And some summers we spent time in Wildwood, NJ having fun at the beach and on the boardwalk. Over the years we sometimes fought like Sisters, but most of the time we were laughing so hard we cried! At The Casino we laughed over the fact that we had to go to a noisy, busy place to find Serenity, LOL! We lounged by the pool and went out for dinner, such a great time.

The next today on the way home Mom and I stopped in at Ender's Island in Mystic. I found the place about 10 years ago when I was still working at the Newman Center and I went on a work related retreat day there. It is a tiny little island with a retreat center, a main chapel, a gift shop, a meeting room and a small stone chapel right on the water. There are tons of gardens and peaceful places to sit. I brought my journal and wrote for a little while, but mainly I enjoyed the quiet and prayerfulness of the island.

This past weekend, Mom and I went to a Holistic Health Retreat at Wainwright House. We went last year and loved it so much, so we have been checking the Wainwright website for updates and events. I was so excited to go back there again!! It is a beautiful stone building with lots of bright rooms. There is also a Carriage House/Yoga Center and another smaller house on the property that was open for some of the activities. The day went by so fast! Every 30-45 minutes there were different sessions. And each block of time there 3 separate sessions to chose from so it was difficult deciding. But, I went to the keynote address and listened to the author of The Fearless Factor. She was a motivational speaker that addressed how the issue of fear holds us back from achieving our dreams. I am reading her book right now and I will post more about that topic soon. I also attended a meditation workshop and walked the labyrinth that was on the property. I had a very moving experience and feel like I was able to clear out some negative energy that has been hanging around and get refocused on the all of the beautiful blessings I have in my life.

Speaking of my beautiful blessings, 4 of them are my Muses: Vincenzo, Luccio and Isabella and my dearest Hubby. It felt great to be able to get away for a short while knowing that my babies were in the capable hands of their dad. Grandma and Papa also helped out while Hubby worked for part of the day when I went to the retreat, so I am grateful that I can count on them as well.

I wish I could say that I ran off with no worries, but I have to admit when I went to the Casino I was really worried. My Princess had been fussy all morning and I had been pumping milk for over a week and knew there would be just barely enough for 24 hours for her. I felt a wave of nausea at the thought of leaving her overnight. I knew the boys would be okay because they are used to sleepovers and understand a lot more now. But, I have hardly left my little Princess and I was a wreck!! Hubby was very encouraging and reassured me that she would be fine. I called and checked in several times (until he told me to knock it off and have fun!) So it took a few hours, but I finally got into the groove of relaxing and really enjoyed myself! And my babies were just fine! In fact, they hardly missed me either day. Although The Princess did have a tough time sleeping and kept Hubby up from midnight until 3 or 4 am. I didn't find out until the next day, but he said it was fine and even took all 3 kids to the local Bounce House on his own for the day. As my brother always says, "That man is a Saint!"

It was nice to get "recharged" a bit. Spending time with family and friends and focusing on my spirituality always inspires and builds me up so much. I feel like I can once again give the best of myself to my most important endeavor-raising my babies!

Road Trip

2010-08-01T00:22:00.000-04:00

We loaded up the minivan with just about everything in the house and the 3 kids and headed to Vermont to visit friends. It was our first big Road Trip as a family of 5! I wasn't sure how it would go with a nursing baby and 2 energetic toddler boys. But, it was fantastic! Ms. Meeghan and Mr. TJ and their kids gave us a warm welcome and such hospitality!! Their girls are close in age to our boys and their baby boy (our Godson) is only 6 weeks younger than Isabella. So it worked out nicely and everyone had someone to play with. It was fun staying with another family and it made it so much easier for us to travel with the kids. Our hosts made sure we had air conditioning in our rooms and a crib for the Princess and a space for the boys to set up camp. The girls were so gracious about sharing toys with our kids and everyone really got along. I enjoyed having some Mama Time and chatting with Ms. Meeghan. We have been friends since we were roomies in a volunteer community after graduating college. We have have alot in common including our faith, so I always feel renewed and inspired after our chats. And Mr. TJ has lots in common with Hubby, they are both amazing husbands and fathers and they are very creative and artistic, so luckily they get along well. It was especially nice when Ms. Meeghan and I were able to kick them out for a bit so we could have Girl Talk. Although there really wasn't much arm twisting involved when we suggested they go for beers. Hubby heard beers and immediately thought of wings and that was about all the convincing needed, they were off the couches and out the door in under 3 minutes, LOL!!

We stayed for 2 nights. We had time for relaxing and hanging around at the house and enjoying meals all together. And we also made some time for a tour of the Vermont Teddy Bear Company and a some shopping for the Mamas while the guys and kids went to a local park. It was a nice mix! A refreshing break from reality. We were pleasantly surprised that all 6 kids were in bed asleep by 8 pm both nights. We were pretty impressed with ourselves to say the least, LOL!!

As for the car ride, I thought it would be a long, dreadful trip. But, it turned out to be so much fun. On the way up we sang songs and talked for nearly 3 hours and then plugged in the DVD player for a movie. On the way home they requested movies right away and then everyone slept except for our Bear who said he was "just relaxing and looking out his window."

We are so thankful to have good friends to share time with as a family! Such a blessing!! We look forward to many more visits as the kids grow older together.

Mama Cenzo Day

2010-07-25T21:17:00.001-04:00

Over the weekend Hubby took Luccio to see his first Yankees Game in NY! They took the train and everything!! Very exciting experience for The Bear! And since it was Cenzo's Special Day with me, I let him choose what he wanted to do. I told him we could go to a museum, amusement park, anywhere at all. And he chose to go to Target and The Shrine. Target is his most favorite place on Earth. He constantly tells us, "you can get that at Target." Or "This is a nice store, but it's nice as good as Target." So off to Target we went. He wanted a specific toy that he had seen on one of our previous trips. A horse trailer for mini horses. Unfortunately the first Target we went to had sold out of them. So we went in search of another Target a few towns over and found the trailer!! And several horses! Next, we went to the Shrine with Stregga. It is a special place for me and I enjoy the Peace and quiet of it as I have previously blogged. Well, Cenzo really enjoys going there too. He says he likes the quiet. But, I think he also likes the yummy cookies at the snack bar and shopping in the gift shop. Everyone was delighted to see him and gave him special attention and treats. We spent a couple hours wondering the grounds & visiting with some friends. We lit candles and said some prayers. We looked for frogs and listened to Nature. It was truly a beautiful day!! It probably wasn't as exciting as a train ride to NYC! But, it was perfect for our Mama Cenzo Day!

Loser

2010-07-25T21:07:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I had my Weight Watchers (WW) Meeting. It was great! I lost another 1.4 pounds so I was thrilled with that. And my WW Leader was as motivational as ever!! She had great advice and she ended the meeting with a fantastic quote, "Watch your actions, for your actions become your habits. Watch your habits for your habits become your character, watch your character, for your character becomes your Destiny."
And she said we should all make it our Destiny to be Losers!! Her parting words are always, "I will see less of you next week!" She really cracks me up!! And totally motivates me. She has practical advice and lots of quotes and slogans to help me get through the week. And before I sound like a total advertisement for WW, I would just like to mention that I am not paid for my opinion in any way. That has never stopped me before, so onto my soapbox I shall climb!! I will be a Loser!!!

Soul Balm

2010-07-21T12:52:00.001-04:00

I have been craving quiet time lately. Just time to sit and think a coherent thought for 2 or more consecutive minutes. Luckily, Hubby was off from work on Monday, so I got up early and went out by myself. I went to a local Shrine that I really love. It is a beautiful place, the most peaceful place I have ever been with the exception of Assisi, Italy. I took my journal and a pen and my camera and off I went. The Shrine doesn't have services on Mondays so there wasn't anyone around when I arrived. I went up to the Grotto and sat on a bench. And for minute I was a bit scared because there wasn't a human in sight and I heard rustling in the woods. I realized it was just squirrels and not the black bears I had worried it would be! I laughed out loud at how nuts it was to be afraid of a squirrel and thought how about long it had been since I had been really alone without another person around anywhere! I tried not to be too distracted by all that and proceeded with enjoying my quiet time. I opened my journal and wrote and wrote and thoughts just spilled out on to paper. Actual paper. In a notebook. It was weird to be writing and not typing. I have to admit I made a lot of errors and found myself scribbling a bit. I switched on and off from print to cursive and back and found most of what I wrote was not legible. Ugh! Had it really been that long since I wrote more than my signature?? I used to be an avid journaler, starting from when I was 8 years old until about 4 years ago when the kids were born, I would write at least weekly if not more. Now I just jot down a thought or 2 every couple of months in my journal. The rest of my "writing" is done through email, facebook or this blog.

I quickly got into the flow of writing and blocking out the distractions around me and then, it started raining. Seriously???!!!!! I finally get 3 kids coordinated, free time with no other obligations, a quiet place with no other humans, and it rains?? ugh!!

I thought of just sitting there until it passed, but my pages were getting soaked and the ink was running so I decided to go up to the Main House and see if it would be okay to sit in a quiet spot there for a little while. The Main House is the private Residence/Office/Retreat Center of the Shrine. So I talked with the Secretary, she is so fantastic and I have known her for years. She said to feel free to find a comfortable spot. The only people in the house that day were cleaning staff so she said if that didn't bother me for them to be running around cleaning I could stay as long as I wanted. I assured her that as I long as I didn't have to change anyone's diapers, they could run around all they wanted!

An hour flew by in what felt like minutes. I looked at the clock and knew it was time to wrap up the morning and head towards home. But, first I stopped in the Gift Shop on my way out. My Mom volunteers there and it happened to be her morning on. So I visited for a bit. There weren't many customers in yet and the store needed a some rearranging and organizing so I stayed to help Mom get started with that project It was so much fun! I love looking at a room and trying to figure out how to set it up and decorate (as long as its not in my own house, LOL!)

I had an iced coffee, I chatted with mom and few other people I knew who were milling about the grounds and then I headed home. It was such a relaxing morning that I felt like I had gone for a massage or something. It was balm for the soul. I needed to recharge and being in a peaceful place and writing was such a scared experience!

Dumpy Day

2010-07-19T21:52:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I woke up feeling Dumpy. I didn't want to wake up at 6:30 am, I didn't want to deal with the pile of dishes in the sink, I didn't want to wash the 367 millionth load of laundry, and I really didn't want to sit outside in the beating hot sun at a toddler birthday party for the second day in a row. So I had an old-fashioned temper tantrum complete with tears. Cenzo said, "Mama. I think you need a hug." That child is so perceptive! He was exactly right!! The boys ran into the kitchen to give me hugs and we were on our way to getting ready for the party. The birthday boy is one of their friends from preschool. He is a sweet kid and his mom is one of the nicest, most relaxed people I have ever met. So, I knew once I got there we would have a great time! And we did!

The backyard was massive, as in GI- NORMOUS!!!! There was a bounce house, a bouncy water slide, a sprinkle, tents set up, so much food, it looked like a professionally catered event. I sat with some of the other moms I know from school and chatted and we had fantastic afternoon!! Stregga and Papa had the Princess for me, so I was free to sit and relax while the boys played for hours!! Some of the other moms mentioned that they had been have Dumpy Days all week too, we attributed it mostly to the heat, lack of sleep and no school to drop the kids off at! It was great to hear others feeling the same way. It wasn't the "misery loves company" thing either it was more like identifying with Kindred Spirits!! We have chatted over the past school year, but didn't really get beyond the small talk of "so how many hours have you slept since you have had kids??" Until yesterday. It was the first time I learned that one woman had hike the Appalachian Trail alone for 6 months!!! OMG!!! It was amazing to hear her stories! It got me thinking of my own travel experiences and dreams. Motherhood is my number one priority at this point in my life and I love it. But, it was so nice to be able to share stories and experiences of how we got here and what shaped us into the women we have become. And I am still trying to formulate how I will get myself back to Italy for a visit in the near future. I have come up with some plans that are pie in the sky dreams and others that may actually work, but it remains to be seen. I need to dream though! There is power in positive thinking and putting it out to the universe. At least that is theory behind the ever-popular book The Secret. Not sure if I buy it, but it can't hurt to try.

The party invite had said 12-3, but several of us were so into our chatting that we ended up being there until 4:30 Our hosts were so gracious and welcoming and the kids behaved so nicely and played together for hours!! The yard was so big that at one point we literally had our own tent to hang out in! Finally, I had to force myself to round up the kiddies and go get the Princess. I was so relaxed I could have easily set up a sleeping bag and stayed the night!! What a great treat it was!!

Decadence

2010-07-16T15:11:00.000-04:00

I feel like when the same theme pops up over and over in my life, it makes sense to stop and examine it a little closer. Lately, it has been living a decadent life that keeps coming up. I am reading Eat. Pray. Love and I have been looking into the Oprah book Women, Food and God, both explore what it means to live life to the fullest. For months (years really) I have been on a weight gain binge. And recently I have hit my all time non-pregnant weight max. In fact, I was weighing more recently than I had when I was 7 months pregnant with my twin boys. I have always had that love-hate relationship with food. I love to eat, but hate to gain the weight I eventually put on. I remember being 12 years old and getting weighed by the school nurse for a gym related task and being 132 pounds and in size 8 jeans. Most of the other girls were still weighing around 100 pounds and wearing junior size clothing. My battle with food continued into high school. Then the summer before my Senior year, I joined Weight Watchers for the first time and lost 15 pounds and started daily gym workouts. I felt great by the time Senior Prom came around and my dress was gorgeous! But, I packed weight on again in college, I skipped the traditional Freshman 15 and went right for the 45!! After college my weight was a yo-yo.

Then in 2001, I traveled to Italy by myself and stayed for a few weeks in Assisi, the Peace Mecca of the entire planet. I visited sacred places, I journaled, I meditated, I met new friends, I stopped and took a look inside my own soul. I found Peace. I brought that feeling back with me. Then, after the devastating events of September 11th, I clung to that feeling of Peace and tried to find the good in the world. I decided it was time for me to take better care of myself physically and emotionally. I cleared out the junk food and the clutter of my life that was no longer working and I distanced myself from the people that were taking the energy right out of me. I let go of relationships that were no longer fulfilling and decided it was time to move on and find the Love that I wanted for my future. I again joined Weight Watchers, this time committing to the weekly meetings as a time for myself to concentrate on my health. I lost 30 pounds, I met my Sweetest and I enjoyed the work I was doing. Life was good and I felt strong and healthy.

Over the past 8 years a lot has happened. Marriage, 3 babies, my body has changed, my mind set has changed, my career has changed. I am a different person than I was 8 years ago and some changes are not for the better. I spend less time on my spiritual life and journey and that has spilled over into all areas of my life. I have fallen into keeping pace and treading water to stay afloat instead of reaching out and soaring like I once did.

Infertility, 2 miscarriages and giving birth to my 3 children has changed me emotionally and physically. I will never again be that naive girl who thought you get married and have babies and it requires no work at all. I will always carry with me that feeling of devastation that the challenges of infertility opened up in my life and that miscarriages reinforced. I will never forget that feeling of "the carpet being pulled out from under me" when I found out one of my sons had a neural tube defect. The ups and downs and joys of new parenthood and lack of sleep mingled with the sheer terror of my infant undergoing surgery 5 times in his first year of life.

But, I settled into motherhood and blocked out the trauma of all that and focused on the good. I rejoiced that all turned out well with my boys! And when I got pregnant with Isabella it was a healing experience. After I delivered her I had lost 35 pounds in the first 2 weeks, I had only gained 18 with her so the rest was a bonus! I thought this it is, I am healthy and going to lose the weight-Finally!!

Of course, it wasn't that easy. I fell into the mode of grazing throughout the day or binging on junk food. Then last month I decided that was it. I had one of those AHA moments. It felt like the planets aligned. I realized I was at an unhealthy weight which affected every aspect of my life and my mood. I decided that enough was enough and it is time to take care of myself. It took me a few weeks to go from that point to actually ready to do something about it, but one day a Weight Watchers post card arrived and I knew it was my answer. SO the day before 4th of July I joined. I thought- How could I possibly be so stupid as to join a weight loss program the day before a major holiday?? What would I eat?? How could I have a 4th of July celebration without my food???? But, I did it anyway. It was time!

My meeting Leader was so motivational!! She said, "this is the first day of the rest of your life! You can lose weight, you will!!"
She talked about making a smoothie for snack with frozen cherries and she described it as "Decadent!" I looked that word up and it means "luxurious self indulgence" or "a rich, luxuriousness." Hmmm...

I left there thinking, that is what I want~Decadence! I don't want ordinary, I don't want ok, I don't want satisfying or to settle. I want decadence! My food, my life, my future- I want it to be DECADENT!!!

I have been following the WW program called "Simply Filling." The foods are basically designed to fill you up in the healthiest way possible. The food list includes whole foods, fruits, veggies etc. And it clearly states bread is NOT a filling food. That made me stop and think. Most of what I shovel in does not constitute a filling food.

I needed to get a handle on the feeling of exhaustion. I had to realize it wasn't the laundry piles, the dishes, the cooking, the bills, the kids. It's me. I need to fill myself up with life. Similar to the advise to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you can help others. I need to be filled up so I can be the best mother, wife and person I can be.

One of the things my WW leader said is to eat what you "need." I have been paying attention to that lately. And I notice my children eating what they need. They know hungry, thirsty and tired. Even my infant knows when she has had enough food and turns her head away. And the boys are very vocal about expressing their needs. When a child is full you cannot force them to take another bite, nor should you. Isn't that how most of us overweight people got here? The Clean Plate Club that we were encouraged to be members of?? When you observe a child you can see that they know just what their bodies need at any given moment. I find it fascinating when I hear my little ones telling me they are thirsty or tired. How do they know? They listen to their instincts. And when they are tired the world stops for a siesta. I love that!

I want that feeling of-yummm this tastes DECADENT!! Or wow-this moment or experience is -DECADENT!! I want to look back in 10 or 20 or more years and think about the moments that were worth living for and be at Peace and feel content. I feel pretty assured it will not have been the Reece's peanut butter cups I consumed while watching my Soaps that I remember as the best moments of my life! Or at least I hope not!!!

Family Vacation-Sesame Place

2010-07-06T21:04:00.000-04:00

I have to start by saying that we love, love, LOVED Sesame Place!!!! A dream vacation spot for toddlers & the people that love them! And it was a toss up as to who enjoyed it more-the kids or us, LOL!!! However, the trip was not without the drama. The 4 hour car ride went very well! Then, we pulled into the hotel parking lot and the entrance was surrounded with cop cars- so Luccio was yelling, "Coppers!! Coppers Mama!!" I sent Hubby in to check things out, then I thought that may have been stupid so I panicked and called the front desk to see what was up. The man on the phone assured me all was well and it was safe to check in. Just as I hung up my cell phone, Hubby walked out to announce that there was a slight problem. The hotel was safe-the police were just escorting a half-naked drunk man out of the building. But, they didn't have our reservation. Excuse me???? Huh???????

I, of course, stormed myself into the lobby and had Hubby pull up our confirmation info on his iPhone. Hmmm.... seems I booked the Marriott Philadelphia, not Marriott-Langhorne. We were at the hotel I wanted, the one a 1/4 mile from Sesame Place. But, I somehow booked the Philly one that was 45 mins away!!! OOOPPPPPSSSS! Not sure how it happened! I had asked the lady on the phone if they were near Sesame and if they had a shuttle and she sad yes to both. Well- they are in the same state as Sesame and their shuttle goes to Philly Airport so I guess there was some miscommunication!! I knew it was too good sounding when I booked a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, kitchen, and living room suite for $159 a night!! Apparently such rooms at the correct hotel go for $500. A 1 bedroom suite was $320. A sort of big difference. I had a meltdown. Not a quiet little moment, no. A MAJOR all out meltdown. I was hysterical. Luckily the kids were still in the car with my mom and didn't realize I had ruined our first family vacation. And even more luck was that the Hotel Guy took pity on me (actually on Hubby for being married to me) and got his manager to give us one of the 1 bedroom suits for $189. Crisis averted, vacation saved!! We brought the kids in an unpacked!!!

We headed to the Park for the most amazing fun EVER!!!!! I cannot even tell you how much much fun it was to my little guys (Hubby included) enjoying themselves so much!! The wonder and awe on their faces when they saw Grover, Cookie Monster, Elmo, Zoe, all of the Sesame Street people and places! OMG!!!! Luccio kept saying. "this is wonderful Mama!"

The Elmo Live show was awesome! We were right up front, thanks to Stregga being first in line!! My baby Princess was so into it! She loves Elmo and her expressions were priceless!!

Most of the park is water rides and pools and sprinkles, perfect for such hot humid weather. So we stayed cool and had fun. We took breaks to see a couple shows and watch the parade.

The second day we slept late and then headed to the park for around 11am. We had another day of great weather and got to see more of the park. It was actually a small enough place that we could go separate ways and meet back up easily so that was nice.

The only other crazy moment came when Hubby went out to get a late night snack for him and Stregga. He called us from his cell to say that Burger King wasn't serving fountain drinks because the water in the area was contaminated!! We checked with the hotel desk and supposedly the hotel and Sesame Place have their own filtration systems and were unaffected. But, the article we read said that many places in the area were affected by e. coli from human or animal feces in the water, ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! We had brought lots of bottled water and snacks for the the kids so we hardly needed to go out for anything and were basically unaffected.

We really enjoyed ourselves and we were all so sad to leave!! The kids thought we should stay forever and told us they wanted to work at Sesame Place. Luccio wants to be Elmo and Cenzo will be Grover (aka Grobber) Me, Stregga, & Isabella can all be Abby Cadabby! And of course, Hubby will be the Count because he looks so much like him, LOL!!!

We have been home for a week now and talk about it constantly still. We watch the video and look at the pics over and over. We definitely want to go back again next year! Cenzo thinks he is having his birthday there in September!! Resourceful kids is always thinking of new plans, LOL!!

One (or 2) With Nature

2010-06-26T15:02:00.000-04:00

So in the beginning, Potty Training Luccio was every bit the nightmare I expected. Load after load of laundry included wet sheets and countless pairs of underwear for days. However, one week later he just about Mastered The Bathrooming!! Yeah!!!! He was a bit resistant to using the Big Potty at first (for #2) so we brought in the Little Potty that we usually leave in the car. He had a breakthrough moment last week at Stregga and Papa's house. We were outside and the kids were palying and Luccio requested using his Little Potty near the trees. He had seen his friend James using the tree to pee the week before. He thought that was a bit too much for him, but liked the idea of the potty near the trees. I was eager to help facilitate whatever progress he could make so I ran to the car and got Little Potty and parked near his tree of choice. And then I begged and pleaded with his brother to leave him alone for 5 minutes so he could relax!

Well, Mr. Bear sat and sat and sat...just like Prudence from his favorite Potty Book. He looked around, he listened to the birds. He sat there for a loooong time. Then all of a sudden I heard him whistling to get my attention. Let me tell you, a whistling Bear on his potty is quite the scene, but I kept my composure and "closed my eyes" as he requested so I could see the SURPRISE he made for me. OMG!! It was a full potty, let's just leave it at that!

He insisted on showing the surprise to Papa too!!! So he called my Dad over and had him close his eyes to reveal the BIG surprise!!!! Happy Father's Day Papa, LOL!!!!!

Being surrounded by nature helped and being left alone for more than 3 seconds without his brother pestering him was beneficial!! After that day The Bear is potty trained!!!! WOO HOO!!!!

I know this is the type of post that gives Mommy Bloggers a bad name, but I had to tell the tale of Luccio's Potty Plight because I am proud of him and he is proud of himself! As crazy as it sounds it is an achievement & milestone for both of us!! I have taught another human being how to pee and poop into a specified container!! No more diapers! Babyhood is over. Its sad, but FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!

In 20 years when he discovers this story I am sure he will be unhappy that I detailed it in cyberspace, but oh well!!

He's Daddy

2010-06-20T09:21:00.000-04:00

One day I was telling the boys something about staying out of the road unless a grown-up is with you. They said, "A grown up? What's that?" So I explained that it is a grown person who is responsible like Mama or Daddy. Vincenzo says, "Daddy's not a grown up! He's Daddy!" So I told the boys that yes he is Daddy but he is a grown up like Mama, not a kid like they are.

And they laughed and laughed!! And Luccio said, "Mama you are a silly goose! He's like us."

There is no doubt that Daddy is the fun parent. He plays games like "Daddy Doggie" and "Robot" and gives them rides on his back. He lets them wrestle him and win! He always has jokes to share and funny voices to tell stories with. He takes them sled riding down real hills and lets them drive their motorized car at the park. He gets less time with the kids than I do, but when he is with them its quality. He lives in the moment and in their world with them. They know it and they love it!!

Vincenzo said, "He is Daddy and I love him."

Happy Father's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Backyard Beautification

2010-06-15T21:47:00.000-04:00

At the beginning of Spring I started writing a To-Do list of household projects that need to get done. My goal was to have the outdoor work done by Summer. But, with 3 kids and Hubby picking up extra hours at work, it didn't look likely. Especially since I like to write the list but have Hubby actually do the projects. But, the more I looked at the list the more I realized I actually have many of the skills necessary to complete the projects on my own, so I decided to tackle one thing at a time. Hubby thought this was insane and asked if I knew how to do half of the stuff I was planning to accomplish. I was happy to tell him that yes, indeed I do. During my years of Campus Ministry I had opportunities to organize Service Weeks. That meant taking a group of college students and traveling to different places to help renovate urban communities. I was blessed to have The Franciscan Friars to work with and Br. Duffy was fantastic at putting together meaningful service projects. We would go to Catholic Worker Houses, homeless shelters, schools, etc. and scrub, paint, garden and whatever else needed to be done until the places we visited looked better than when we arrived. I figured why waste all those years of experience when my own yard so desperately needs a "beautification." Although it would have been nice to have a college group come over to do the work for us, LOL!!

Now that the Princess has been sleeping slightly better I have had a bit more energy and feel like I am less "foggy" and "post-partum-ish." So one day I put the kids down for their naps and picked up a paint brush and started. The first 2 days I re-stained our back stairs, lattice around the front porch and a picnic table. They look gorgeous, like new!! I felt so productive and energized that I couldn't wait to keep going.

The biggest thing I wanted fixed was our brick patio. The bricks had dulled so much I thought they looked more like dirt. I wanted to brighten the color and get them looking new again. When I told Hubby and my Dad the plan to stain the bricks they thought I had lost my mind. Both argued with me on separate occasions that it couldn't be done, wasn't a good idea, etc. Needless to say my Dad bought me a can of Brick Red stain and they both held their breath waiting to see what would happen. I am pleased to announce that the bricks are BEAUTIFUL!!

The color is so vibrant! It gave the yard a whole new look. And the painting of each brick was therapeutic. It took quite awhile. A few of the hours I painted while the kids napped and as I painted I pondered life. Then I painted while the kids sat inches away staring at me and pleading to help. I told them they couldn't step one toe onto the bricks because the paint was wet, so they literally stood with their toes up against the edge of the bricks. The Princess sat in her stroller and watched. And when she got fussy her big brothers took turns pushing her around the yard. Their turn taking didn't always go smoothly and I had to do a bit of directing, but I was able to complete the task and that felt pretty darn good!

Next, I moved on to painting the exterior of our back porch. It was an addition to the house put on before we lived here. The wood was never painted so it doesn't match the white of the rest of the house and it makes me crazy to look at it. Even worse is last year Hubby started the job of priming it for paint, but he only did 2 of the 3 sides. So looking at that one side still unpainted was awful!! The day I worked on that particular project, the Princess was not content in her stroller and I was determined to finish as much of it as I could. So I put her in a pack on my back and on we went. Working with my daughter was a wonderful experience!! She loves being carried in the pack so she nestled right in. And on my back she doesn't feel as heavy so I am able to carry her for a long time without it interfering with painting or hurting all of my muscles! I was able to finish painting the 2 primed sides and then I primed the 3rd side. But, it has rained a lot since so I will hopefully do the rest tomorrow. I have heard a good weather report and I am really looking forward to finishing that up so I can check it off the list, LOL!!

In the meantime I have been working on trimming gardens and Hubby has started to mulch, which always helps things look refreshed! I even had Stregga helping out, give that woman a hedge clipper and some time and she means business!! The back yard trees and bushes have never looked better!

So, its small steps, but its getting there. Still lots to do, but each little step is making a big difference!! And I feel renewed as well!!

Plan P

2010-06-14T21:31:00.001-04:00

I had one of those days where I looked around and thought, "OMG, is this seriously my life right now??" It was sparked when Luccio decided last night to be done with diapers and wear Big Boy underwear. All fine and dandy except for the small fact that he is completely un-potty trained and hasn't had a dry diaper in his life! With that said, I jumped at the opportunity to have him start to train and put the underwear on and sent him to bed for the night, Oh boy! It went ok. He slept all night and woke up in a puddle of pee. But, he seemed unfazed and even changed his own sheet. I was impressed. 5 pairs of underwear and 2 sets of sheets later... Let's just say it was a long morning!

At one point he realized he had to poop. He knew he shouldn't go in his underwear and he wasn't going to be given a pull-up so a fiasco ensued. He was sitting on the toilet screaming and crying and wanting me to help him. I tried reasoning with him and rubbing his back to no avail. The baby was screaming her head off needing to be fed and angry to be left out of the excitement happening in the bathroom. And Cenzo was beside himself because his brother was getting so much attention, so he decided he needed the potty immediately!!! So Luccio screamed louder, Isabella continued crying and Cenzo started in on the yelling raising his voice over the commotion and trying to pry his brother off the toilet.

I thought for a moment that crying myself would be a good option, but I was honestly afraid once I started I might not be able to stop. So I came up with Plan B or Plan P(oop).

I thought of what my mother-in-law has said about "finding the right currency." Apparently, according to Dr. Phil you just have to find the right motivation for the kid and then the pooping on the potty follows. So, I showed Luccio a GIANT lollipop that I had gotten over the weekend at a toy store in NYC! I told him it was a "Poop Pop" and that if he could be brave and make poop happen in the potty he could have it. Then, I decided to go out to the car to get the portable little potty and bring it into the bathroom. Luccio liked that one and and Cenzo was happy to get the "big" toilet. I put Isabella in her carseat and set her in the bathroom doorway with a toy and a pacifier. I sat on a stool in between the potties and read books to the poopers. Thank God for Prudence!! She is the star of the Once Upon A Potty Book. And let me tell you she is one determined little girl. So the boys love hearing about how Prudence sat and sat and sat...until finally...she pooped!! Luccio had me reading that story again and again. And then finally...he pooped!!! OMG!!! Such excitement. Cenzo was congratulating him and then we made a big ceremony of flushing the poop. After hand were washed and he was dressed he wanted his Poop Pop. Cenzo got one too for being such an amazing and supportive brother! Both boys were surprised that the pops "don't taste like poop, only pee." Ughh!! I had to explain that they are not actually poop flavored they are regular lollipops to celebrate the poop milestone. Yeah, whatever Mama.

Several phone calls were made with the big announcement to all of the grandparents and Daddy. Luccio was very unhappy that we reached all voice mails and no one was talking back. Luckily, Stregga happened to have seen the message on her cell and called back within a few minutes. He invited her to his Poop Party!! He doesn't forget a thing. I had told him back in the early spring that if he pooped on the potty he could have a party. And so he held me to my word. Stregga and Aunt Grace showed up with cupcakes and presents!! He got 25 pairs of new underwear and a water squirter. Does it get better???

I have no idea how tomorrow will go and frankly I am nervous about just how many pairs of underwear I may have to wash (or throw away.) And we are venturing out to meet friends at the park which could turn into a total nightmare situation. But, I have to think could it get any crazier than spending 2 hours of my morning sitting in the tiniest bathroom in the world with all 3 of my children crammed in reading books?? I have never in my life wanted a house with 5 bathrooms and a maid to clean them more than I did today!! But, I made it through, the kids made it through. And the bathroom seemed to have survived. Although with 2 toddler boys using it I had to spray it down with some heavy duty cleaners at the end of the day. But, it's all good. And the fun part is I get to do it all again tomorrow...and the next day...

The Way We Were

2010-06-13T22:01:00.000-04:00

My babies, I mean Big Boys, "graduated" from the 3 year old program at their preschool this week. It was a much anticipated event for them and for me! We talked about it for days. They were practicing songs and getting ready to say goodbye to their friends for the summer. They were excited and I was a bit sad. Mainly I was sad to say goodbye to my new Mom Friends and my free time twice a week!! I kept thinking, OMG what are we going to do all summer??? But, when we got to school that last morning and the Show began, it hit me. I realized these were not the same toddlers I dropped off for the first day in September. As I watched the slide show the teachers had put together it was very obvious just how much they have changed this year, both physically and emotionally. They are taller, their faces are thinner, their hands and feet are bigger and they are much more coordinated. The physical aspects of change really stood out in the progression of pictures throughout the year. The emotional changes were a bit less obvious but there all the same. The pictures showed happy, smiling boys!! It brought tears to my eyes! They LOVED school this year and poured every ounce of their energy into being a part of the class. The teachers were FANTASTIC!! They are loving and nurturing women who have gently guided the boys and their classmates through the year and they have provided a safe, loving and fun environment to learn.. It was a wonderful introduction to school life. I cannot say enough how thankful we are and how blessed we feel to have our boys at this school!! And as an added bonus I have found wonderful Mommy Friends. I have met so many nice people and out of that group I have found friendship and support as I have adjusted to tlife with 3 little ones!

During the slide show, I also started thinking about how much life has changed for us as a family this year. On the first day of school the teacher had taken a picture of me with each of the boys and I was 8 months pregnant! And here we are at the end of the school year and Isabella is just about to turn 8 months old!! Becoming big brothers has forever changed Vincenzo and Luccio. In the long run, hopefully for the better. Becoming a family of 5 has meant a major overhaul of the roles and responsibilities of everyone in our house. Schedules and routines have had to shift, we have had to make room for another person and all of her Princess gear which has meant rearranging the limited space we have to work with. Immediate response to their every need is no longer as feasible and must be balanced with the needs of the baby. Very often the scale has tipped unfairly leaving the boys with less one on one time with Mama.

Through it all they have handled themselves so well. They take pride in their role as Big Brothers. They are attentive to Isabella and her needs, constantly making me aware of her feelings whether they think she is hungry, needs a pacifier, wants a toy or is bored. They are generous with hugs and kisses and attention. And of course find great joy in entertaining her as she is by far their best audience (besides the grandparents.) They always tell me how happy they are that we have had this "beautiful baby" and that they want to "keep her forever." Even in their most impatient moments they never take out aggression towards her.

That is not to say we didn't have adjustments. They certainly felt the crunch for space and attention and the shifts of change affected their temperament and attitudes towards me and daily tasks. On more than one occasion I have heard that I am "not nice" or that they don't love me anymore.

However, my boys are growing up and taking on more independence. Simple things like putting on their own shoes and helping one another with small tasks has made life much easier for all of us. I want them to feel not only that they are a part of our family, but they ARE the family. Each and every member of our household is important and loved and has an impact on one another and the people we will each become. As siblings they will forever be connected in one way or another.This graduation was one small step of many to come in the future. Even though it was the end of this year, it is truly only the next beginning for us. I am excited to see what the next chapter holds...

The Art of Compliments- Lesson #1

2010-06-03T21:19:00.000-04:00

We were driving to the beach the other day and from the back seat Luccio said, "I love you Mama." and I thought "awwww, what a sweet boy." But, before I could respond out loud, I heard him say, "I love you Big, Giant Mama."

It took me a little off guard to say the least! My mom and I couldn't stop laughing!! Even though it really was NOT funny! Especially since I had opted to wear shorts and a t-shirt to the beach because I felt too big for a bathing suit because of my "post-partum" weight. (Just a side note- I will probably use the pregnancy weight gain as an excuse until the kids are in college.)

Usually when Luccio tells me, "I love you Mama," he will get a very loving reaction of "awwww, you are my sweet little man and I love you soooo much!" But, when you add the words BIG and GIANT its not quite as endearing.

I think he must have realized it didn't have the effect he hoped for because today on the way to school he said, "I love you little, tiny Mama."

Such a smart boy!!!

Food for Thought

2010-06-02T20:38:00.001-04:00

I never thought I would find myself saying this, but I have found a new hobby... making pureed baby foods. I hear myself and I think- my God woman who are you??? Times have sure changed!! Last month Isabella started eating solid foods and that has brought to my mind a whole new level of love. I think because I have been able to exclusively nurse her up until this point, I felt resistant to giving her other food. I like the idea that I have been able to sustain her life from conception to now as her sole source of nutrition, energy and life. Its an amazing experience, one that I will forever treasure. But, I have come to terms with the fact that food needs to be started and so I have decided to make homemade foods for her. It gives me the connection that I crave of being able to help sustain her life with healthy, nutritious goodness. With each fruit and vegetable I puree I think of how much I love her and want the best for her. Choosing the types of fruits and veggies and hand selecting each one gives me the opportunity to mother her in a new way. I am overjoyed at the beautiful colors that each puree makes. Its unbelievable the difference between the homemade foods and the commercial jarred foods. I never used to think nursing and making food for my baby would be so important to me. With the boys it didn't occur to me that there was an alternative to jarred food, it just seemed so simple. And honestly I was in such a fog of going from one diaper change to the next that if someone had even suggested making baby food to me I would have thought they had lost their mind! But this time around I have a different perspective. I know how fast the time goes so I am treasuring these moments in a different way.

I am enjoying selecting new foods for her to try and the puree process only takes a few minutes if I am making the food fresh. Other times I set aside an hour and make a month's worth at a time.

So far the Princess has tried: apples, pears, bananas, sweet potatoes, white potatoes, mango, yellow squash, watermelon, and avocados.

The avocado is by far her favorite. She loves it!! She gets so excited when she takes that first bite of a meal and realizes its her avocados, I swear she sighs with relief, LOL!! She likes the sweet potatoes too and will eat just about anything else if its mixed with avocados. I find that she actually sleeps better on the nights that she has had avocado for dinner. Not sure if there is some scientific reason why, but as long as it gets us all some extra sleep so be it!

There is a natural foods store nearby so I have made a few trips there to find the organic fruits and veggies that I want to try feeding her. I have also found great organic selections at Stop & Shop and it usually costs a bit less. Then I clean, peel, chop, steam and/or boil and start the food processor.

I have been fortunate to have a couple of friends who are also into making purees for their babies. They have shared their recipes and resources with me. My friend, Sarah, suggested a great book, "Super Baby Foods." It has helped so much, fantastic information about what foods to try at each stage. Also, lots of recipes and facts regarding making and storing different foods.

So, bottom line is this- I may not be the world's best cook. In fact, I only have a few dishes I make really well. But, I can make a darn good puree! There is something satisfying in that! At the end of the day I fall short on so many goals and tasks, but when I look at my healthy, 20 pound baby girl, I think "well, I've done something right." I try to enjoy that feeling while it lasts because I know that she will talk soon and like her brothers she will point out every one of my faults, talk back non-stop and demand a personalized menu. But, for now I relish her unconditional love and the enjoyment she has for pureed food, LOL!!!

Life Force Energy

2010-05-24T19:50:00.000-04:00

There is something about a new baby, a new life, a new chance to start again that inspires me to be my best self. My daughter turned 7 months old this weekend and my mind can't seem to accept it. She is still a tiny newborn in my mind, still 2 weeks old. I feel like we just brought her home from the hospital. Yet, at the same time I know her so much better now. She is a sweet, gentle baby. She is so content and happy, she delights in watching her brothers antics and laughs with glee at their silliness. She is their best audience! She waits for her Daddy to arrive home and squeals and coos to greet him! And she is my baby doll for sure. She sees me walk into her room and her eyes light up and her whole body moves with an amazing energy. She laughs, knowing I am going to scoop her up and kiss her chubby cheeks! Every time I see her sit up on her own, reach for toys, roll over, get ready to crawl, I am impressed with her strength. She really demonstrated that strength when she took Luccio's glasses right off his face!! I think that was the "ah-ha" moment where we all realized the mushy newborn is gone and in her places is a baby girl absorbing everything about her world.

I think because I had the twins first, I am relishing Isabella's babyhood in a way that I would not have appreciated without that experience of raising two babies simultaneously. With Isabella it is so different because I can sit and nurse her and not feel rushed that another baby is screaming for food or I can hold her and cuddle and not feel like someone else isn't getting their fair share of snuggles. And when the boys are at school or sleeping, I have time with her that is just us. Quiet moments to see her play and appreciate her for the baby that she is. I don't have the same anxiety of questioning when and if she will walk, talk, dance, read, etc. I feel like I can just enjoy her because I know she will do it all and on her own time. In fact, I have tried to keep her a tiny newborn for as long as possible and she has hit all the milestones despite me, LOL!

As my Princess is growing I have really been reflecting on what it means to be a woman and to raise a woman in our society. I feel like I want to strive to be the best person I am capable of being and reach my fullest potential in all I do while at the same time balancing that with a sense of contentment and appreciation for the life I have. No small feat for sure!! Especially when sleep deprived for 7 months, LOL!!

At the end of the day I know I can always do better. And with 3 kids I feel like I am always trying to catch up on something, the laundry piles, the dishes, the yard work, the paperwork, bills, grocery shopping, nose wiping, diaper changing, meal making, snuggles, etc. There is always something I have forgotten or didn't do well.

I often have to stop and remind myself of the mantra that my good friend, Father Bob, once told me, "You have enough, you do enough, you ARE enough."

I Like You

2010-05-17T19:41:00.000-04:00

The boys are starting to get the difference between love and like. They went through a phase where everything was LOVE. I love you , I love pizza, I love Elmo, I love crocodiles. Luccio quickly realized that "I love You" gets results. So he would say, "I love you Mama" at bedtime, then at random times throughout the day. He saw how happy I would get, so he kept saying it. And now when he does something he KNOWS he is not supposed to do, he will look at me and say, "I love you Mama." At first my heart would melt, then I caught on to the fact that I am being emotionally manipulated by my 3 year old and it lost some of the cuteness. But I have to hand it to that Bear, it really works like a charm even though I know better!

The other day we were driving in the car and Luccio randomly says, "I like you Mama. I really, really like you." I was ecstatic!! Who doesn't love to hear they are liked?? So I replied, "I like you too! I really like how sweet you are and how you make me laugh and how much fun we have together." He said, "Yeah Mama. I like you a lot."

I was sitting there feeling pretty good about myself. Thinking, "ok, I must be doing something right. I may not get it all perfect, but I have kids that love me, like me even. At the end of the day that is what I am thankful for."

And then from the way back seat, Cenzo chimes in. He said, "Yeah. I like you too Mama. I really like it when you yell at us."

Ahhhhh....so much for my Mother of The Year Award!

Back to Bloggin'

2010-05-14T22:29:00.000-04:00

So it's been while since I have updated. With 3 1/2 year Twin Tornadoes and a 6 month old Princess it's as if someone hit the fast forward button on my life somewhere back in October and I am just now starting to slow it down again.

The Tornadoes aka Cenzo and Luccio are doing fantastic, but they are busier than ever! Busy has taken on new meanings this year. First of all they are busy in the sense that they wake up talking and exploring at 7 am and go on and on with new conversations and adventures until they pass out at bedtime. They are also busy growing in leaps and bounds. They have gotten so much taller and their vocabularies are expanding constantly. They amaze me every day with how much information they can absorb and understand and relate to. And they have developed social lives that keep us all busy!! They have friends at preschool so we have been invited to birthday parties and play dates, etc. Its funny because they have their own friends now instead of only playing with the children of my friends. We still do that a majority of the time of course, but to meet new friends through my kids is such a surreal experience!! I feel like such a "Mom." LOL!!

My Princess is almost 7 months old, it's crazy to me how fast time has gone by. I feel like I was just pregnant with her. It seems like overnight she has gone from a sleepy newborn to an active infant. She started solid foods a couple weeks ago and had tried using a sippy cup, she rolls over, sits on her own, and seems ready to crawl soon! How can this be??? I am trying to preserve every moment of her babyhood I don't want it to rush past me like it did when the boys were this age. I feel like because she is a "singleton" I can sit with her and appreciate her in a way I wasn't able to with young twins. But, it's still going faster than I would like.

However, everyone is healthy and happy and I couldn't ask for more! And they keep life interesting with lots of stories to blog about! Now if I can just find a way to get the Princess sleeping through the night so I can have the energy to blog on a more regular basis...well wouldn't that be a great trick, LOL!!

Dunkin' Gambler

2010-04-16T14:45:00.000-04:00

To say I HAVE to have my cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee to start my day is a major understatement. I switched to decaf about 5 years ago, but there is something about that coffee that helps wake me up. But, I often ask myself, why do I drink this coffee?? Half the time it either tastes awful or is mixed wrong, but still I go back for more. The other day I had a revelation...I continue to drink D&D coffee as often as possible because ONE time, ages ago, I had the PERFECT cup of coffee. It was back in the college days when I was drinking my coffee "light & sweet." Yeah, living it up in those days, LOL! There was that day about 16 years ago when my coffee was mixed just right! And I have been chasing that dream since.

Over the years I have switched to decaf, extra light, no sugar. There were even a few years, when I was on Weight Watchers, when I would have light with skim milk and no sugar, ughhh I can't even begin to tell you how gross decaf coffe with watered down milk tastes. Yet, I couldn't pass a D&D without stopping. When I fell off the Weight Watcher wagon, the only change I kept was the no sugar. And I live it up a little with French Vanilla flavoring.

No matter how many times I repeat my order at the drive-thru there are more times than not where I get a Surprise Coffee, as in "Surprise, your coffee is not mixed how you ordered it and tastes like crap." Or "surprise your coffee is not mixed like you ordered, but has so much sugar you are almost in a a coma." or the best is "surprise your coffee is mixed so yummy that it could not possibly be what you ordered." Ahhhhhh, well I keep going back. And on difficult days when my kids are draining every last ounce of my energy, I find that a little D&D is the perfect pick me up.

Gambling is in the family. My 100% Italian Grandfather often referred to the Pequots as "cousins" because in his old age he visited the Casino "fairly" often. So I think that is why I keep going back to D&D hoping that I will get that perfect cup of coffee one more time!

It has to be the thrill of the dunkin' roulette because it usually isn't the taste of the coffee, LOL!

Well Hellooooo...

2010-03-26T15:08:00.000-04:00

So, you know when you meet a new friend and it sounds like a great idea to get the kids together for a Playdate and you end up inviting them over for lunch and it seems perfect- until you realize you need to run around cleaning like a maniac because they have never been to your house before and you don't want to them to think you live in a messy, poop-scented Frat House that has been turned upside down by Twin Tornadoes... or is that just me??

Anyway...one of the mom's at the boys' preschool has become a great friend and we have gotten together on school mornings to have coffee and chat. She has a son the same age as the boys and a baby girl the same age as the Princess. And she usually sees me while the boys are in school. So, with one baby girl (who is usually sleeping while we chat) I appear to be mostly put together. I can sit and make somewhat coherent conversation and I can leisurely nurse the baby while relaxing and sipping yummy flavored coffees.

Well, the other day we decided to get together with all the kids and so we ended up at my house one afternoon when school got out. I spent 2 days cleaning the house and rearranging the toys in the playroom to make it seem as if we have enough space for 3 toddler boys to play. And I attempted to get through the 2 hours of lunch and play without appearing completely disheveled, unorganized and chaotic in general. The living room, kitchen, kids' rooms and bathroom were clean and the toy room looked great. And I had a simple, but great lunch of cheese quesadillas and apples planned with homemade cookies for dessert.

Well, the facade lasted about 10 glorious minutes. Then the boys were all jumping on the furniture while I made lunch, the baby started crying and wanted to be nursed, Luccio pooped his pants and all the kids basically declared pure hatred for quesadillas. And my friend's son opened the one off-limits "Messy Room" door aka my bedroom and revealed the mountain of laundry piles and baby equipment that I had attempted to hide.

And so we went with Plan B...

I defrosted milk for the Princess, boiled up some Kraft mac and cheese, and gave in to utter chaos that ensued. We ate, the kids spilled water and food and just about anything they could their hands on and my friend shoveled food into the kids' dishes trying to keep up with them while I changed poop diapers. And somewhere in the middle of it all my friend and I chatted about all of the important things in the life of a mom.

Everyone had fun and went home happy and sleepy. I wasn't sure, but I thought it went well enough that we would still be friends. I collapsed in an exhausted heap and napped while the kids napped that day.

Then my friend called a few days later because she had forgotten her baby carrier and needed it before we would see her at school again. She wanted to know if she could stop by and pick it up in about 15 minutes?? Hmm...no problem...

15 minutes?? I sprang into action and quickly moved the Laundry Mountain that I had been folding from the couch to the bedroom. I changed out of my raggy jammies and put on semi-decent comfy clothes. I threw toys in bins and wiped the kids faces. Not bad. And THEN - Luccio pooped and Cenzo insisted he needed the potty at that moment. And in 2 minutes time my house turned into a Frat House- with poop jokes and goofy laughing and a poop scent that could kill a small animal. I opened windows and the front door and got out my lemon/lavender spray and started spritzing. My friend suddenly appeared in the open doorway and saw me spraying down the living room. So I calmly went over the the door to say "Hello."

Luccio proceeded to tell her that he is potty training and if he goes poop on the potty we are going to have a "Poop Party." Which is true, but more info than we needed to share at the moment. She laughed and we chatted for a few minutes. Then Cenzo came out of the bathroom and joined the conversation.

My friend invited us over for lunch and a play date for next week and then she said she had to run cause the kids needed to get home for naps.

Just as I was about to breath a sigh of relief that the visit hadn't gone too badly, I looked down and realized Cenzo was standing next to me...

COMPLETELY NAKED!!!!

Well....

Queen of the Castle

2010-03-18T21:14:00.000-04:00

Today was Luccio's Special Day at Preschool. And it was not without the typical Bear drama. Each student can sign up for a special day. On that day, the child is the line leader, the flag holder, and has a special mat to sit on for Circle time. They can bring in a parent and a favorite toy or story and a special snack. They also wear a crown and the kids sing a song to them. It's too cute!!!

Ms. Z had prepped Luccio so he knew what Special Day was all about. Last night Hubby made Spider Man cupcakes with him. And this morning I went to school with him. We were all very excited. The morning went well.

Until we arrived in the school parking lot.

Then Luccio decided to have a meltdown. It was sparked by the fact that Isabella went to Stregga's house for the morning so I could go to school. Luccio thought the baby was coming with us and was VERY disappointed that she was not, so he cried and cried. Then a friendly mom from the group graciously offered to help me in with the kids and cupcakes etc. But, Luccio didn't want the nice Mom or ANYONE to speak to him. Great. The he fell in the parking lot and scraped his knee. When I picked him up to clean him off, I realized he also had pooped his pants. Thankfully he was wearing a Pull-Up!!! So we dropped off the cupcakes and scurried to the bathroom to "freshen" him up.

When we returned he still had a grumpy attitude, but Ms. Z and the other teachers went on with the morning business and he eventually went on to play with his friends.

When he was given his Special Day crown, that lifted his mood!! He was all smiles from that moment on. He proudly held the flag while everyone said The Pledge. He loved being line leader and he could hardly wait to share his cupcakes. He really enjoyed his day!!

Nothing was sweeter than his friends all singing the Special Day song to him!!! He was beaming!

My absolute favorite moment of the day was when Luccio was given his crown and one little friend ran up and said. "It's your special day Luccio! You are the Queen of the Castle!!!

Blue Eyes

2010-03-14T19:44:00.000-04:00

Twins have a Rock Star quality about them. They are fun, messy, have tantrums, and enjoy celebrity status when out in public!! People always stop us to comment. When the boys were younger it didn't surprise me because even though they look nothing alike, with matching clothes and carseats it was obvious they were twins. Now that they are older it takes people longer to ask, but usually when they see 2 kids close in age and wearing matching or coordinating jackets, the questions start. Are they identical is the most popular question. I usually just look at the person for moment to see if they are joking and hen I say, "Uh, no." In fact, they couldn't;t be more fraternal looking. Opposites right down to their belly buttons, Luccio has an "outie" and Cenzo has an "innie."

When we added a third bundle of joy to our family I wondered what that would be like. Being the younger sibling of Rock Stars may not have been easy for a third boy, but since we had a Princess, she has her own celebrity status when we go out. She is a girlie-girl with pink and brown coordinating carseats, stroller and blankets. Her outfits are always matching and her earrings add some major sparkle. But, what stands out most is her blue eyes!

I have found that having blue eyes is equal to the twin phenomenon. People stop and stare and comment about her eyes all the time. The number one question is "Will they stay blue?"

I always think - Umm...let me get my crystal ball and I will get back to you!

But, I do hope they will stay, they are gorgeous!!!

I didn't realize just how many times the Blue Eyes have been the topic of conversation until one morning Luccio said to me, "I have blue eyes." At first I didn't know what he was talking about. But, he repeated it to me. As I stared into his chocolate brown eyes I realized what he meant. He understood Blue Eyes are something special, worthy of conversation, attractive to people.

And so at every opportunity he tells people "I have blue eyes." And people look at me like I should spend more time teaching him his colors.

Nutty McNutsalot

2010-03-11T14:43:00.000-05:00

So, we had a new tenant in the house over the winter, Mr. Nutty McNutsalot. At first we didn't realize Nutty was moving in with us. About a month ago, I had heard noises when I was sitting in the living room. Hubby convinced me it was "the window rattling." Really?? Hmmm...it was a windy winter, we have old windows, seemed to make sense. Sort of. Except the noise seemed to be coming from the ceiling and running back in forth from the kitchen to the living room over my head!!!! Those who know me or who read this blog regularly know I am NOT a fan of furry wildlife, especially in my house. So when I heard "the windows rattling" more often I got nervous. I called Mr. Tim, the professional exterminator that I signed us up with last year when it was suspected a mouse was in my house. Back then, poor Mr. Tim came over to find me standing on my kitchen chair with my kids and bags packed up to move out until the Beast was caught. He tried to reason with me that one suspected mouse in a basement doesn't require me to move out, but clearly he was not thinking straight!

Anyway, after 2 weeks of windows rattling I decided to have Mr. Tim take a look in the attic. And wouldn't ya know it, the windows left behind a poop trail after they rattled. Hubby was still skeptical. But, Mr. Tim assured us a squirrel had in fact moved in and liked our attic so much he decided to build a nest and stay a while. Fantastic.

Now, Mr. Tim tried telling me that the squirrel was NOT going to dig holes through the ceiling and come into the house. He was just going to build a nest and play with the exposed wiring in our attic, but since we have working smoke detectors that shouldn't be a problem. Oh great, that's better.

Needless to say I started sleeping with a light on. Not a small nightlight either, a nice bright lamp. Hubby wasn't too happy about that or about the $350 estimate Mr. Tim gave us for removing the squirrel. Apparently "nuisance wildlife" is not covered on our service plan as they require special techniques to remove and "dispose"of.

So Hubby decided he would move Nutty out himself. I told him he had 1 week and then I was calling Mr Tim back. I figured even a super squirrel couldn't dig his way through my ceiling in one week, but I wasn't chancing any longer than that!!!

And so the meeting of the minds began. It was Nutty versus Hubby.

First, Hubby "foamed" the hole outside where the squirrel was coming in.

One point for Hubby. Two days passed and Nutty was not heard from!! WOO HOOO

BUT, Mr. Tim had suggested getting a screen and some metal to reinforce the hole, apparently Nutty likes to chew foam so the metal would keep him out. Hubby kept meaning to get to the hardware store, but didn't. He underestimated Nutty. After 48 hours he was back!! And running over my bedroom while I tried to sleep. Not helpful!!

Hubby stepped up the endeavors. One night on the way home from work he stopped to get screening and metal and all kinds of supplies and worked on patching the hole.

He forgot to get a drill though and therefore couldn't;t finish the job, but thought it would be "good enough" until he could a drill. 24 hours later-Nutty was back!!!

So- Hubby got tougher. He got a drill, put more foam and a screen and who knows what else and filled in the entrance to Nutty't apartment. Woo Hoo!!! Progress!!

The only problem....Nutty was inside the attic. So yeah, now Nutty was trapped in the attic with no way of escaping through the bullet proof screen Hubby had installed.

Hubby got traps.

After a couple days of being stuck in the attic my cousin, Sammi worried that Nutty would starve. But, I assured her. Nutty was well fed. He ate every bit of the bait that Hubby left in the traps for him. Without ever setting off the trap. Nice!

We were beginning to get attached to Nutty. Proud of him in fact for being so darn smart. We surely had the smartest squirrel EVER. Not only could he eat through foam, build nests and run marathons, he could tip over traps with over once getting caught. After 2 days the only thing Hubby caught in the traps was his own hand. Twice.

Now to be outdone by a squirrel, Hubby persisted. And patience payed off!! I heard Nutty one afternoon. And then I didn't. When Hubby came home that night he went into the attic with a flashlight and a garbage bag ready to do battle.

Let's just say that Hubby was the victor!!!! WOO HOO!!!! I have never been prouder. He was so brave!!! He battled that ferocious, furry genius and won!!

I had to be given as few details on the battle as possible because I needed to be able to return to sleeping with the lights off for all of our sanity. But, I was extremely impressed with Hubby's wit and skills when it came to capturing wildlife. And though I may have been a doubter in the beginning and might have even made fun of some of his tactics, I have to say Hubby was right! It was so much more satisfying to have Nutty out of the house for way less than $350. Extermination is a lucrative business.

Mr. McNutsalot you made our winter interesting. But, I am glad to see you gone. And may all of your friends be warned!!

Mr. Bear

2010-01-31T16:52:00.000-05:00

It was Family Week at preschool. The teacher, Ms. Z, invited parents to sign up to be a part of the class activities. I was excited to have the opportunity to see the boys in their school environment. I signed up for Story Time, from 11:10-11:30 am. I was really looking forward to reading with the kids!

We did extremely well getting out of the house that morning. By 8:30 am everyone was washed, dressed, fed and ready for take off. We had back packs (both of them, which is a whole other story) and the sun was shining after days of rain! Thank you God!!! I even remembered their homework!!

The plan was to drop the boys off and return to school later for story time. I decided to go a few minutes early to see how things go in class and "quietly" sit in the background.

Well...you know what they say, tell God your plan and He will laugh. I am sure He was having a good laugh that day because it went from bad to worse.

When I arrived it was about 15 or 20 mins before Story Time. I walked in the door and immediately Luccio spotted me. The kids were set up at tables working on drawing pictures of their families. Luccio saw me and started yelling, "Mommy!! Mommy's here!"

So much for my quiet entrance!

Thankfully Ms. Z and the other teachers, Ms. L and Ms. D, were very welcoming! They said it was fine that I arrived early and invited me to join in with the class.

Cenzo was excited for me to be at school too. I visited his table and he introduced me to his friends. He seemed like he would be fine with me hanging out and observing the happenings of the group.

But, Luccio, my Little Bear, was not so content. He was soooooo excited! He declared Art was over. Which started a domino effect and all of the kids at his table wanted to be done with art.

Ms. Z didn't miss a beat. She quickly got everyone to clean up and move on to the next task.
Ms. L led a Music activity. My boys ended up as partners and were all over the place, not listening, dancing around like goofballs, and completely off task. Ms. Z assured me they weren't usually like this and that they normally aren't paired together.

One of the reasons I picked this preschool for my boys was because the first time I walked in the room I felt a sense of comfort. Positive energy radiates from Ms. Z. And as a twin mom herself, with 4 sons, not much ruffles her.

As my boys were getting more and more hyper and further off task during Music, I felt like running from the room and hiding. Especially when Luccio was marching to his own beat. Literally. He was marching in the opposite direction of EVERYONE else.

Ms. Z said, "He loves music!"

When we went back in to the classroom for story time, Luccio completely melted down. He was crying and carrying on because he wanted to sit on my lap and he wanted to wear his back pack to story circle and he wanted to play with the toy that was in his bag. He was yelling, "Mommy!! I want Mommy!!!"

Ms. Z said, "He is so loving! He loves his Mommy."

During Story Time, Luccio stood in front of me whining and demanding to sit on my lap and see the pictures and he didn't want me to read to his friends.

I felt my pulse racing, I was overheating and thought I would pass out from the embarrassment and stress. But, his 3 teachers sat in the circle with the other students and smiled and encouraged everyone to participate in talking about the book as if Luccio wasn't having a breakdown in the center of the circle.

Ms. Z gently guided him back to his table and gave him a hug and reassured him that he was doing great. She pointed out how exciting it is to have Mommy visit school.

I sat with him and held him on my lap and thought, "My goodness, is this my child???"

I practically ran from the building when it was time for dismissal. I couldn't believe how the day had gone. I totally disrupted everything and created chaos with my mere presence. Ughhhhhh

Luckily, we ran into Ms. Z a few days later at a basketball game. She was so positive and reassuring and said that its often difficult for kids when their parents come into the class, especially the first time. She also mentioned he wasn't the only one who had a hard time when a parent visited. She told a story of another little one from class that was crying the following day when his mom visited. I felt so relieved, even though I pitied the other Mom because I knew how she must have felt.

I am so thankful that I went with my gut instinct when I chose this school for the boys. I wanted their first school experience to be positive. I wanted a teacher who would have patience and compassion. A person who would inspire them. Before school started for the year, I had mentioned to Ms. Z that Luccio had medical issues and that he may have some developmental issues. And she said, "we love them all the same." And she does!

Its important for preschoolers to learn letters, numbers and colors. But, at the end of the day I want my sons to learn to love and to be loved. And I can tell you they are learning that this year with their amazing teachers!!

During those moments of what appeared to be complete insanity with Luccio screaming and causing a scene, Ms. Z pointed out his strengths: He loves music. He loves his Mommy. He is loving!

It really made me reflect. My Little Bear IS so loving. He is such a snuggler and so animated and funny!!! He truly brings Light wherever he goes. He is a strong little boy. He was born with a hole in the back of his skull, he underwent 3 brain surgeries and 3 other minor surgeries for various ailments. He has always endured with a smile! He has recovered faster than I ever would have been able to. He never complained and it never stomped out his inner light!!

I know that most teachers don't have the time or patience to nurture each child's fullest potential. And it is much easier to see a child's faults than strengths, especially when they are strong willed and demanding. But, our family has been so blessed to have found a place where teachers appreciate that determination and strong will are strengths. These are the exact strengths that have helped Luccio to survive and succeed!! And I am so grateful that Ms. Z reminded me what an amazing son I have!

The Obama Factor

2010-01-19T21:31:00.000-05:00

There is an old saying about never bringing up religion or politics at the dinner table because you may insult someone. But, since we are not eating (at least not together in the same room) I will get on my soap box for a moment. I wonder if the same rule should apply in an emergency room..... When I was in the ER with Isabella someone asked if she had received Synagis shots. Synagis is not a vaccine, but an anti-body that helps protect kids from getting RSV. I told her that Isabella had not received Synagis because wasn't born prematurely enough to meet the criteria. She said she thought that it covered babies born under 36 weeks. I said, no it covers a preemie born BEFORE 34 weeks and weighing LESS than 5 pounds. She said she couldn't believe how strict things have gotten and how much worse it will get with Obama's plan.

Huh?? Did a Health Care Professional just use my child's illness to further promote her own political bias?? No, can't be. Could it??

Well, I was distracted in that moment because my infant was struggling for air. However, as I sat around the hospital for a couple days with no access to Wi-Fi, I had time to process and formulate more coherent thoughts (well, slightly more coherent.)

I think what bothers me about that conversation is the COMPLETE UNTRUTH!! Synagis criteria has not suddenly gotten more strict because Barack Obama was elected to be President of The United States of America. Three years ago when I had my twin sons I learned about Synagis criteria because they qualified for it because they were born at 32 weeks AND weighed under 5 pounds.

I keep coming back to the injustice of blaming Barack Obama for every wrong under the sun, including Isabella getting RSV. Over the past few months I have heard people place blame on Obama for everything from mammogram recommendations to global warming. Elizabeth Hasselbeck from The View referred to the new Mammogram recommendations as "gender genocide."

So, let me get this straight Obama hates women, children and boobs????

Does ANYONE remember George W. Bush?? The OLD, WHITE, REPUBLICAN who led our country into a war that we may never get out of? A war that cost thousands of American soldiers their lives and put America into debt that we CANNOT EVER repay? $$$$$$$ The same George W. Bush who is responsible for bringing our country to it's knees, begging for mercy in the worst financial crisis we have seen in DECADES????? The same guy who was president when the whole mammogram study was first initiated???

Obama just happened to be in office AFTER the war began, AFTER the financial crisis happened, and AFTER the Synagis and mammogram recommendations have been made.

It took George W. Bush 8 years to destroy our country, Obama will need more than a few months to put a plan in place that lets America recover what is has lost, both economically and emotionally. At a Weight Watchers meeting I was told "it took you 30 years to gain weight, don't be shocked when you can't lose it all in 4 weeks!!" I would say the same principles apply here. Time, effort and lots of hard work are needed to rebuild.

So, Obama may be YOUNG, BLACK and DEMOCRATIC, and he may have a lot of challenges ahead of him as the President of the United States. But, he did not cause Isabella to be born at 36.4 weeks and weigh nearly 8 POUNDS - therefore making her INELIGIBLE for Synagis. Nor did he sneeze, cough and snot on her to cause her RSV (that was her brothers)

He may have caused Global Warming though, I'm not sure because I don't really follow politics....

Go For the Brain

2010-01-16T21:48:00.000-05:00

So Princess Bean has been sick. Scary sick. It was a crazy week that included a ER visits, ambulance rides and a hospital stay. We met some interesting people and received some interesting advice along the way. Some helpful, some not so much. But, I will share it all with you nonetheless...She started with a little sniffle on Sunday. Then 4 am on Tuesday morning I heard a cough that made my heart skip a few beats. I had been sleeping on my couch holding her because every time she fell asleep she was choking on phlegm. She was having a hard time breathing and needed medical attention. So I sprang into action calling the doc and getting dressed. I ended up taking her to the ER. She was diagnosed with RSV (a respiratory virus that can affect the lungs in infants) RSV can progress quickly and gets worse before it gets better. Since its viral there is no medication for it. Just treatment of the symptoms. She had 3 ER visits, 2 pediatrician visits and one hospital admission between Tuesday and Saturday. And since one hospital in town does not have a pediatric unit she also had 2 ambulance rides-one from the pediatricians office to the ER and then from there to the other hospital across town to be admitted.

Basically the docs and nurses we dealt with advised treating the congestion and coughing with various methods that included hanging her upside down and beating her back, then flooding her with saline and shoving a bulb syringe as far up her nostrils as we can to suction snot out. Then, wait for her to choke and begin to suction the phlegm from the back or her throat. Fun times.

I was "trained' by the nurses so I would be able to do this at home. It was stressful, but I gave it my best shot.

At one point I was suctioning her snot and the nurse was cheering, "Don't be afraid, go for the brain!!"

I am not kidding.

So after a couple days I took her home. I followed doctors orders, along with help from Hubby. We suctioned her nose until it bled and her throat until she vomited.

And then I fell into a puddle of tears.

We decided there MUST be a more humane way to help alleviate congestion in a coughing, choking infant. So...

Hubby built a Humidity Tent for Isabella. This was suggested to us by a different doc than the one who thought the saline and suction was effective. She said to tie a sheet over the top of the crib and use a cool air humidifier to blow moisture in. Well, nice thought. But, our Princess doesn't sleep in her crib. Hubby often wonders why he "built" a nursery for her since she never sleeps in there. I remind him that he didn't build it, he just painted it AND she is only a tiny baby. But, in fact she is getting bigger and older. And she slept in a hospital crib for 2 nights, so I thought it would be a perfect time to transition her into her own crib.

Yeah. That didn't go well.

So we moved her chair/bed into her room and Hubby tied a sheet up and put the humidifier under there with her. There was scissors, yarn, scotch tape and eventually duct tape involved. It looks like a scene from M.A.S.H., but it seems to be helping. And there is a lot less crying (on my part) than with other methods we have tried.

Wishes

2010-01-10T21:54:00.000-05:00

My Birthday celebrations tend to go on and on, I love it!!! I am spoiled and usually have more than one party. As a kid I would have a family party and a friends party and it has worked out that even as a "grown up" I usually end up with 2 or 3 parties. This year was no exception!!

My Hubby started the celebration by taking me out Thursday night to dinner and a show. We saw, Hairspray. It was fabulous!!!!!!! I have been singing the songs since! Next I had lunch with My Ladies on my actual birthday. And then the best was saved for last, a party with my sons!! When I got home from lunch with the girls, my boys had a party ready for me!!! Roses and yummy chocolate cake are a great way to end a day! Then my parents and Nonni stopped over and we looked through old photo albums. And Hubby made a DVD of the kids from the past 3 years. Its is a compilation of "mini movies" that are about 3 mins each that include: a montage of the boys' first year, first haircuts, sledding, - all adorable moments!!

Cenzo asked me what I was going to wish when I blew out my candles. I never tell a wish because it may not come true, so I asked him-What do you think I should wish for? And he said-"To spend the day with us?" Absolutely!!! There is no more perfect way to celebrate my life than with my family!! Wishes Do Come True!!!

Birthday Celebrations

2010-01-10T20:23:00.000-05:00

For my 35th Birthday I decided to dress up my Princess and take her out to lunch. Then I invited my Mom (Stregga) to join us, she invited her mother (my Nonni) Then I talked to Crazy Cousin and invited her and her mother (Auntie)

I figured since lunch was turning into a party, I would call Zhaz and her daughters to join us. My Godmother was included on the plan too. She had to work, so we decided to have lunch at the restaurant where she Hostesses. And before you know it, it was a big Birthday Bash!!! We had a fantastic Italian meal and my favorite berries and creme cake!! We chatted for over 3 hours!!!

It was a glorious afternoon! I even got presents!! I love presents!!! I got a zebra print Snuggi -love it!!! And hot pink slippers with tiaras on them!! And chocolate red wine, yummm!! And a nice bag of bath bubbles and candles.

I am so fortunate to have a group of amazing women in my life to support me in the good times and the bad. Over the years I have been able to count on each of them individually to pick me up when I have fallen or as a group to rally around me when I have needed a moral boost. And I can always rely on them to laugh at and with me when I need a reality check!!! It was so much fun celebrating the day with them and I loved that my Princess is now part of

the group!!

Here are some highlights from the day:

My Princess All Dressed Up

Princess Met a Boyfriend from Another Table

My Cousins

Stregga with her new purple cast-arrrrrgghh!!

35 and counting...

Baby Blessings 09'

2010-01-06T20:08:00.000-05:00

In 2005 I started keeping track of blessings in my journal. I would try to write something each day that I was grateful for. In review I was often writing about a new baby being born to a friend or family member. SO eventually it got to the point where I started a list for just Baby Blessings. At the time I was struggling with fertility issues and it helped to be positive and celebrate all the babies around me. I continued even after I had my own family because I still find it important to celebrate new life. It's interesting to me to see the trends in names, gender, etc. This year we were blessed with our baby Isabella and she was in good company. 48 other babies were born in 2009 in our circle of family, friends, or acquaintances. If you want to see some of the names and stats for previous years, check out: Baby Blessings 08' .

Here is the list of Babies that have Blessed our lives in 2009:

Girls:
Atalia
Arianna
Abigail
Cecilia
Claire
Alexa
Katelyn
Brianna
Madelyn
Nora
Nina
Ella
Lily
Meredith
Alana
Chloe
Isabella
Lauren
Adaline
Maria
Kaitlyn
Alice
Phoebe
Mallory

Boys:
Sebastian
Johnny
Isaac
Daniel
Graham
David
Ian
Nathan (2)
Steven
Tyler
William
Anthony
Christian
Jacob
Connor
Ryan (2)
Aidan
Owen
Cayden
Amadeo

Happy Heart

2010-01-05T22:22:00.000-05:00

The big question people have been asking since I had Isabella is, "How are the boys adjusting to life as big brothers?" It's a good question. On a day to day basis things are too hectic to analyze such things. But, when someone asks me I have to pause for a moment and reflect. The other day I took Isabella to the pediatrician and she asked me about the boys too. My automatic response is, "they are great big brothers." But, how are they really feeling about their new sister?? I try to use their actions as interpretation of their feelings. They love to help feed and bathe her. They play with her and are so proud of themselves when she gives them smiles!! Every morning they wake up and immediately ask where she is. They are helpful when I need them to get something for me while I am feeding her. Every time I put a new outfit on her we do a fashion show and they ooh and ahh over her adorable little clothes and headbands.

I feel like the boys are pretty aware that Mama and Daddy can love more than one child completely and unconditionally 100% . They have shared our attention and love since before they were even born. They have never known what it is to be the one and only in our house. They get special days with one on one attention, but its not the same thing. I think they were prepared for the concept of each child is loved in a separate but equal way. They have different personalities and interests and dynamics. And Isabella is another beautiful piece of our family puzzle, it fits.

But, the seed of doubt is always in the back of my mind. Is jealousy lurking under the surface? Am I missing something? Are they feeling neglected? Do they feel replaced?? I heard Cenzo tell my cousin that "babies cry all the time, especially at night." And one day we were at the store and he said, "You always buy things for Isabella Angelina." It wasn't in anger or nastiness. He wasn't asking me to buy him anything. It was just a statement, like he observed and noticed it and commented on it. But, it got my attention is a way that felt unnerving. The doubt rose to the surface.

Then the other day, I got some reassuring feedback from the boys in a moment with their sister. They were taking turns holding her and Luccio was saying, "I love her." He was rubbing her head and saying, "I love you baby sister. You are OK. We are right here."
Then Cenzo said, "I want more baby sisters. That would make my heart happy."

That made MY heart happy!

The Circle

2010-01-05T21:05:00.000-05:00

I remember when I met my friend Stephanie, aka "My Sister" aka "Sis" 25 years ago!
It was 1984 and I was 9 years old. I had just moved to Village Circle. I left behind my friends and moved to a new home in a town where I was the only person wearing a Michael Jackson t-shirt and carrying a purse with his picture ironed onto it. I was ahead of the curve and the King of Pop craze in my new town.
So I arrived at the bus stop that first morning and there was Sis standing over the sewer drain with her brother and another boy from our neighborhood. I thought, hmmm... interesting. I wonder what they are looking at down in the sewer?? As I got closer I realized they had the cover off of the sewer and had convinced one of the neighborhood boys to climb down into the drain!! It was obvious Sis was the ring leader of this crew. I stood there thinking, what kind of place did I move to??? And I vowed that I would NEVER be friends with this girl, even if she was the only other female in the neighborhood!!!

Needless to say by the time we got off the bus that afternoon and walked up the big hill home, we were best friends for life!! Shwinns in fact!! Shwinns are a set of "sisters" who are "twins" who are not blood related. Or at least that is what we told people back in the day. Sis is 6 months older, but was one grade ahead in school. So we were friends in the neighborhood aka The Circle, but we also has our school friends. When I was in 4th grade we told one of my school friends that we were sisters, twins actually. She wanted to know why we didn't live in the same house. She was a smart one that girl! SO we had an elaborate story that included foster homes, adoption, and other such "stretches" of the truth. Once the story was rolling it was hard to back track so we just forged ahead adding details as we went.

We had a great time growing up in The Circle. We played Barbies until we were 13 (sad, but true) We built snow houses that we moved everything we owned into including a TV one winter (our Moms were not impressed) We were in love with the boy next door (well next door is relative because we had a few boys in the neighborhood that we fell for at different phases and not all lived literally next door) and we stalked the Paper Boy on a regular basis. We had countless sleepovers. We babysit every kid in the neighborhood including the 6 week old that we fought over and had to set the oven timer so that we cold take turns holding her every 15 minutes (nowadays no one would let 12 year olds watch a newborn, but in the ol' days this was a normal thing) And we tortured most of the boys that lived near us. Especially 2 that were particularly dorky. We told everyone made up stories about them, but the worst part was we told the true stories like the fact that they still had babysitters at 15 years old!! We were wicked!!!

We had it all planned out back then...we would marry twin brothers (we actually knew a set at school that we were in love with so it worked perfectly with the plan) Then we would live next door to each other, each have twin daughters, and own a beach house where we would vacation every summer. In our free time we would run our restaurant, Burger Time.

Flashforward 25 years... Well the twin husbands and daughters didn't work out, but I have twin sons. And Bruger Time never happened, but Sis married an excellent cook so that could still eb a possibility. And we don't live next door, but luckily we live on the same coast again!! So we are in driving distance of each other.

Last week I drove up to visit Sis and her newborn baby, Kaitlyn. I took Isabella with me so she could meet her future best friend. It was a fantastic visit. We hung out and held our real life baby dolls while we ate Oreos and chatted!! Just like old times, except now we have our little girls with us. And someday I can only hope that they will make as many wonderful memories as we have. The Circle continues...

THAT MOM Strikes Again

2009-12-26T16:45:00.000-05:00

The boys had their Holiday Concert at nursery school the other day. I was determined not to have a repeat of "The Gingerbread Incident." So, I set my alarm for 6 am to ensure that I would have plenty of time to have myself and all 3 kids out the door by 8:30 am. I must say it started off very well. I fed and dressed the Princess, then showered and dressed myself, then got the boys up, fed and dressed them, and packed bags. At 8:45 (only 15 minutes off schedule) we loaded the Mom Mobile and prepared for take-off. I quickly went through the list before I pulled out of the driveway:
The boys -check
The baby -check
Fruit tray - check
Marshmallows on a stick-check
Camera and video-check

Not too shabby!!! The boys and I high five each other and off we went.

AND THEN we arrived at school and it fell apart fast...

I drove into the lot and as if in slow motion I noticed parents walking into the building holding packages. Small. Gift wrapped. GRAB BAG GIFTS...NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
You have to be kidding me!!

Flashback... one night it was time for the Princess to have hr 3 am feeding and I was craving M&Ms so I go to the Emergency Food Cabinet and odd boxes caught my eye. Gee, that looks like matchbox cars and a doll. Hmmm... and then that thought went away never to be recalled again until..yeah Grab Bag Day.

And then it all comes back to me...The boys had picked the names of other students to buy gifts for, one boy and one girl and a $5 limit. I had bought the gifts way back at the beginning of December. All set, no chance of being "That Mom" who doesn't buy a gift for the grab bag.
But, my helpful Hubby moved them from the pile of presents to the EMERGENCY FOOD CABINET. Yeah, cause that is where I would look for gifts for nursery school kids, in the cabinet with my secret chocolate stash.

SO-I went into panic mode. Literally. I set off the alarm on my car. Way to make an entrance. Then I unloaded all 3 kiddies and trek over the icy parking lot into the school. I left the boys in their classroom and went to the Hall to help set up for the show. My mind was racing. I had 20 minutes until the show starts and knowledge that 2 children will not be getting gifts unless I risk missing the show. I decided to leave the Princess with another mom that I am friends with and race to a store. Luckily in the parking lot I met up with my parents. Stregga and Papa are always good in a pinch because they are quick on their feet. They don't require much of an explanation or direction. Basically they see that I am on the verge tears and hear...gifts, boy, girl. $5 and they head off to save the day!!

In the meantime I headed back inside to save seats for my parents and in-laws and hope it all works out. Each minute ticked by with a cruel twist. It went by super fast and it was almost Show Time, yet passed sloooowly because Stregga and Papa were still out and it was almost Show Time. Gotta love irony.

I thought to myself no big deal, my parents will sneak in the side door and put the gifts on the table with the others and no one will know the difference.

AND THEN...

The teacher came up to me and asked if I had my grab bag gifts. Ummm...
When I mention that my parents on their way with them she says no problem

AND THEN she holds up the ENTIRE show for us!!!! She got up in front of the waiting parents and grandparents and starts small talking, she is a quick thinker!

Thankfully it was for only 5 minutes, the looooooongest 5 minutes of my life, but still. Finally, in walk Stregga and Papa with 2 bags chuck full of goodies- THANK YOU!!!!!

AND THEN the Cutest Show On Earth began. I videoed every adorable moment for Hubby who could not be with us. Stregga took pictures for us, broken hand and all, gotta love her!!!!

It was a fantastic show and my little guys were too funny. Cenzo sang his heart out and Luccio stood there like he had never heard these songs before in his life! LOL!! We enjoyed the show and the kids didn't know what had gone on behind the scenes.

But, I did. It was another moment that proved I am now That Mom. The one who forgets grab bag gifts for her preschool children to share with their friends at Christmas.

But, hey at least I didn't forget any of my kids. Well...at least not that day!

Time Out For Santa

2009-12-22T22:00:00.001-05:00

I have spent the past month preparing the boys for Christmas. We talked about how Santa brings special gifts to each child to help Baby Jesus celebrate his birthday. We have been listening to Christmas music and singing songs, shopping for gifts to give loved ones, reading book after book about Christmas. We have talked about Santa and his elves preparing toys and reindeer that can fly. I have tried to help them experience the holiday magic and sacredness of Christmas. But, somehow I think the boys have missed the point...

I overheard them playing "pretend." And they have decided to incorporate rules and consequences into their imaginary world. SO...

The elves were sent to Time Out for not making enough toys, the Reindeer were given a Time Out for not eating, and Mrs. Claus gave Santa a Time Out.

The other night, even Grandma was threatened with a Time Out if she woke up the baby!!!

I knew it was getting serious when I heard them telling one of their dolls, "You better be nice or you will go to Time Out and Santa won't bring you any presents."

Ah, all of my hard work for nothing. They missed the whole point. The magic, the marvel, the holiness. All out the window. The only thing they took to heart is THE SANTA THREAT.

At the beginning of the season I swore I would not be a parent who used Santa to manipulate my children into good behavior. But, somewhere along the way I feel off that soapbox. It was just too darn easy!! It started simple enough...Hubby and I wanted the living room cleaned and Hubby said, "Santa is listening." Well, that room was cleaned in a flash!! It was as if Santa himself had sprinkled magic dust on our children and set them in motion.

Next, it was "You wouldn't want Santa to see you hitting your brother, would you??"
And eventually it got to the ever popular Naughty List. No one wants be on that list!!!

Once I heard Santa being put in time out, I decided to take it literally. I thought we needed to step back from that jolly old elf and start focusing on the real reason for the season. So I set up a day for the boys to give back. I told them we were going to help Jesus celebrate his birthday by helping someone who needed it. We decided to donate jackets to a local ministry that participates in the Midnight Run in NYC. So the boys and I loaded up a bag of outgrown coats and drove them over to the community center. They had a great time dragging the bag around. They told the woman in charge that they were there to give their jackets to people with no jackets. Plain and simple.

I have no idea if they "got it." But, for a few minutes we stopped in the middle of the holiday madness to take in the importance of it all. And although they fought me on giving away Daddy's jacket because "he might get cold," they were excited to drop off that bag.

And so we will wait for Santa to arrive, we will be overjoyed to open gifts and play with all the new treasures. But, I hope what they will remember is the holiday "feast" with their family, the time shared with loved ones, the simple moments that make it all magical.

And I hope that no one will have to get sent to Time Out! At least for the day!!

Meals on Wheels

2009-12-17T14:35:00.001-05:00

Most Moms I know are excellent multi-taskers. They can juggle house chores, bill paying, play dates and doctor appointments while feeding, changing, and caring for their children. On most occasions this means wiping noses and behinds, cooking meals, opening juices boxes, gluing toys together, finding lost socks and shoes, and basically saving the world all while talking on the phone and checking emails. I even know some Moms that are able to update their Facebook status during Labor!!

There are some tasks however that require more attention than others. These tasks are far and few between, but there are exceptions to the rule, driving is one of them. Yes, you can talk on your cellphone, eat and drink your coffee at the same time as you sing songs and tell stories and break up fights. You can even pass out snacks and retrieve fallen toys with your bionic arms. But, one thing you CANNOT do is feed a baby. Well, maybe you could, probably you really shouldn't for a multitude of reasons.

Well, my children have a hard time understanding that theory. They think I should be able to do everything, instantly. I remind them that I AM NOT MAGICAL, even though it often seems like I am, LOL!!

So, the other day I picked up the boys from school and loaded them into the Mom Mobile. Just as we pulled out of the parking lot, Princess Bean woke up. She had been sleeping for 3 hours and was starving!!! She let us know it too, loudly!!

The boys immediately started yelling, "She awake!! She hungry!! Feed her!!"
I explained that I would feed her when I got home. But, Luccio thought that was unacceptable, so he kept saying "Feed her! Feed her now!" I calmly said, over baby's screams, that I would have to feed her at home.

Luccio said, "Oh, you forgot your boobies??"

Uh, no- I am DRIVING!!!

Gingerbread Meltdown

2009-12-09T13:59:00.000-05:00

The exhaustion finally caught up with me yesterday and it wasn't pretty. I felt like I was running a leg of the Amazing Race. The task was to get myself and 3 kids out of the house by 8:30 am and deliver the boys to their field trip at Gingerbread Village on time. Well...I woke up at 6 am and fed The Princess. But, I was so tired from having been up on and off all night that I fell back to sleep. I was woken up again at 7:15 by the boys. The race was on...

I fed and dressed the kids and took a quick shower. Ahead of schedule the Princess was up and demanding food. I still needed to get dressed, "pump" and pack bags. So I enlisted Luccio's help in giving his sister a bottle. He did great! Of course more milk was on her clothes than in her belly, but she went back to sleep and that was good!

At 8:35 I loaded everyone into the Mom Mobile, only 5 minutes behind schedule. Not bad!

I had the directions to the Gingerbread Village that the teacher had given us. It was located in the hall of a local church in an area of town that I have driven through A MILLION times.

With that said...

We drove in circles for 30 minutes. The street that the directions said I was to turn onto did not exist, I drove up and down the main road and could not find that road!! I kept getting to the area where I thought it was and there was a ROAD CLOSED sign so I kept turning around and starting over. My cell phone was not charged so I couldn't call the teacher whose number is on the directions. UGHHHHH!!

I was supposed to have them at the field trip by 9 am, they were only going to stay there until 9:30, finally at 9:05 I pulled over and asked a guy sitting in car for directions. He said I could follow him and he would drive me there. Thank you!!!

He drove us to the wrong church -there are 4 in the center of that town and none were Gingerbread Village!!! I was panicking. Now it's 9:10 am.

I pulled into a parking lot and see this older woman get out of her car. Mercy, that poor woman!! She wasn't expecting me to say the least. I got out of my Mom Mobile, I thought I was calm (and sane.) And then, all of sudden I am talking to the poor woman and crying like a loon!!! I tell her I haven't slept through the night in almost 2 months and I am exhausted and I can't find the Gingerbread Village and I have two 3 year olds who are now 15 minutes late for a 30 minute field trip. I can't disappoint them and I can't find the church... and on and on...

The woman looks at me and says, "Honey, it's ok. It's right across the street."

OMG!!! How embarrassing!! The driveway of the church is right at the sign where it says "Road Closed." I drove past there numerous times, so focused on the road being closed I never saw the GIANT sign that says the name of the church right there!

So I quickly dry my eyes, reapply lip gloss and race the kids out of their seats and into the building. We made it and it's only 9:20!!

We spend 10 minutes looking at Gingerbread Houses and then its time to load them back into the car to take them to school. Luckily other parents and even the teacher had gotten lost too, so I am not the only one. Although no one else looks like they have been crying on the shoulder of strange old ladies in the parking lot across the street.

On the way to school Luccio says, "You crying Mommy?" I tell him "No, not anymore."
And he keeps asking me, "You crying Mommy?" No, sweetie I have recovered thanks!
Then Cenzo says, "I cry when I wet my bed."

We arrive at school, I open the door and there is a fake fireplace the teachers have hung on the wall. It's covered with handmade paper stockings. Stockings that the kids have decorated. Stockings that the kids were supposed to have made for HOMEWORK!!! Yes, the first homework assignment of their school careers and I completely forgot to do it with them. I unpacked it from their bookbags last week and stuck in on top of the fridge. Real nice!

Luckily I walked in with a Mom Friend and she didn't remember either!! Thank God!!! I am not the only one!! We commiserate with another mom in the parking lot who forgot too!! We decide to hand the projects in the next day and act like that is when it was supposed to be due!!

So, now I am "That Mom." The mom with more kids than hands to hold them. The mom who shows up late to field trips and forgets homework assignments. The mom who is wearing mismatched socks and has puke on her shirt. The mom who so desperately needs a cup of coffee its like being in the desert without water.

In the words of Kate Gosselin, "It might be a crazy life, but it's MY life."

And I love it! I wouldn't change it for all the sleep in the world!! I just hope that if my kids end up in therapy someday recalling a "gingerbread incident," they will agree!!!

Better Than A Towel

2009-12-07T12:53:00.000-05:00

The boys seemed to have gone from babies to big kids overnight. They have hit a new milestone too- pillows!!! I wasn't sure when to introduce pillows. I spent the first 2 years petrified of SIDS and keeping everything out of the cribs. Then they turned 2 and they started piling all their stuffed animals in bed with them at night and even have graduated to blankets covering them. Then a couple weeks ago they had colds and I propped their mattresses up with towels so they could breathe better. They thought that was the greatest thing ever!! They were fascinated that towels were under their mattresses and even asked if they could have an extra towel "to fold into a pillow." Poor deprived boys have been sleeping on their towels for weeks now. But, Grandma took pity on them and bought them pillows!!! So the other night they went to bed with their new pillows and Luccio snuggled onto his pillow and sighed, "Ah, that's better." And Cenzo agreed, "Yeah, that's much better than a towel."