Metal Man

Over the weekend I had to have "the talk" with my kids. Not the birds and the bees.  More like the  one about a magic bunny, eggs, a hammer, nails, Roman Soldiers and a man named, Jesus.  THAT talk.  Quite the challenge to explain Easter from the Catholic perspective to 5 and 2 year olds.  They knew more than I thought and understood more than some adults I know.  Their unique perspectives gave me lots to think about!

This wasn't our first talk about God, Jesus and all things sacred.  I used to be a Campus Minister so it is a topic I like and believe in very much. We incorporate our beliefs into our everyday activities.  But, we had a refresher talk as we drove to our Church on the way to the Stations of the Cross on Good Friday.  Our church has a beautiful outdoor Grotto modeled after Lourdes. It is a peaceful place to visit and perfect to walk the Stations in the wooded area near the Grotto.  Several hundred people showed up throughout the day to walk the course.

My conversation with the kids went something like this. First, I reminded them that it was Good Friday and asked if they knew what that meant.  They said yes, they knew it was the day Jesus died.  So we were off to a good start.  I went over how Jesus lived a long, long time ago and loved God so much.  He was God's son and came down from Heaven to teach people on Earth about how much God loves us.  He was a great teacher.

Cenzo wanted to know if people thought Jesus was weird?  In a nutshell yes.  Some people thought so.

"Is that why they arrested him? Because they thought he was weird and they didn't like it?" asked Luccio

I tried to explain that sometimes it is hard to hear messages like the ones Jesus taught about.  Some people did not want to hear that their choices were not good.  And they wanted Jesus to stop trying to get them to change their lives and live better.

We went on to talk about how after he was arrested Jesus had to carry his cross a long, long way to the spot where he was going to die.

Ugh, I DO NOT like having to get around to that part.  But, the boys knew it was coming.
They had some great questions like was the Cross heavy? Did he have to walk up the hills? Did he get to eat or drink? Was he tired? What about his friend Simon the helped him?

I was surprised they remembered Simon, I guess they pay more attention to what I say than I thought, LOL!

As we drove Luccio noticed mountains in the distance and wanted to know if that was like the mountains Jesus had to walk up with his Cross.

I have to be honest I wasn't sure if Jesus walked up mountains with the cross. I remember seeing the Mel Gibson movie and I am pretty sure it was a hilly walk. So I embellished a bit and went with it.  "Yes, those are like the mountains, good connection."

When we started talking about how the soldiers used a hammer to nail Jesus to the Cross the questions got even more interesting.

Cenzo wanted to know where the nails got put and how long it took to nail them in.
Then he asked, "so when the nails went into his hands that is when he turned to metal?"

Uh, um.  I don't remember that part of that story Sweetie.  Huh??

Luccio clarified.  "Mama he means is that when they hung him on our Church?"

Oh.

I clarified that he died on the cross first and then rose from the dead and THEN people remember him by making metal crosses.  But, Jesus did NOT become metal.

"So he came back to life?" asked Cenzo.  "So he is like a Super Hero?"

I tried to explain that Jesus was 100% from God so he has Divine Power.  So he is even stronger than a Super Hero.

That opened a barrage of new thoughts. "How did he get out of the cemetery?"  "Was he like a ghost or did he still have skin?"  "Why didn't they just put Jesus in jail?"

Good question.  Then I had to explain a bit about old fashion justice systems and how it wasn't just Jesus that was hanged on crosses. I put in a small bit about the other criminals that died with him that day and reminded them we would hear the words one said in a song "Jesus remember me when you come into your kingdom."

Luccio wanted to know what happened to the other criminal. Another good question little Bear, not sure though.

Finally I wrapped it up by saying that God's love is stronger than death. And that we would remember Jesus and his walk with the Cross as walked through the Stations.

Cenzo commented, "it's a weird story Mama. Is it true?"

Well, in our family we believe that it is true and in our Church family of Catholics we believe it is true.  But, not all people believe it.  That is what Faith is.  Believing even when everyone else doesn't.

Isabella said, "I love Jesus."

Then Cenzo suggested maybe when he is older he will make robots that can teach about God like Jesus did.  They can say "I am a robot. I believe in God. I love God."

I wasn't sure what to make of that.  If I analyzed it from my adult perspective I would say Cenzo took away the thought that people who believe are like robots.  But, he explained it in a way that made me think he meant that this would really help get the message out to as many people as possible that God is loving. He liked the idea of his robots helping Jesus.

Luccio had one last question, he asked me "is that why the Easter Bunny brings the eggs? Because Jesus was dying?"

Oh goodness, I have no idea how that ridiculous Bunny got involved with the Holiest of days.  But, I tried to tie it in by saying that Jesus came back to life and eggs are a symbol of new life so we use them to remember the Resurrection.  And the Bunny likes eggs so he helps Jesus deliver them.

My brain was EXHAUSTED! I had to stop for a Dunkin Donuts coffee and regroup my mind before we ventured on our walk through the Stations.

The weather was perfect and we met up with my mom, aunts and cousins.  It was a wonderful way to spend Good Friday morning.  And it gave me lots to think about for my own faith reflection and for future conversations with the little ones.

At the Station where Jesus is hanging on the Cross there is a steep set of stairs to walk up to stand at the foot of a very large Cross. At that point Luccio stood waiting to see "how are we going to get into the sky to watch Jesus rise from being dead?"

He truly thought we were going to somehow be beamed up to the sky.

Wave of Awareness

Our family is going to be WAlKing to support Hydrocephalus Awareness and Research. What exactly does that mean?? Well...
According to the Hydrocephalus Foundation:
"Hydrocephalus means there is an abnormal accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) within the ventricles of the brain. This fluid builds up and causes the ventricals to enlarge and the pressure inside the head to increase. Hydrocephalus cannot be cured, but can be treated. The most common treatment is a surgical procedure to place a shunt inside the person's brain. The shunt channels the flow of fluid aways from the brain into another part of the body where it can be absorbed and transported ino the bloodstream. If left untreated it could result in permanent brain damage."

Hmmm, a lot to take in. Especially when I first heard the news that my son Luccio has Hydrocephalus. Luccio was born with a Neural Tube Defect (NTD) so essentially that meant that a part of his skull had a small opening causing fluid to build up into a small pocket that looked like a skin covered golf ball on the back of his head when he was born. We fondly called it his "Lumpy." Thankfully at 5 months old Lumpy was removed and his skull was repaired. But, closing up that area caused the fluid to build up and thus Luccio now has Hydrocephalus. So at 14 months old he was "shunted." His neurosurgeon had tried other less invasive pocedures first, but alas the shunt could not be avoided. So Lucci has a tube that is inserted in his ventricles around his brain and it drains fluid into his abdomen. Thus far, thank God its working very well!!

In the beginning it was very scary to me. Greg and I need to be able to be Luccio's advocates. But, it was so overwhelming. I felt like I am wasn't sure if I really knew enough about what i am doing. I think we have good plan in place for him, but is it aggressive enough? What does it mean for his future? For school? With friends? Sports? We are learning as we go. And we have met some wonderful people along they way.

We were going to a support group that helped a lot because we were able to talk with other parents in similar situations. But, in talking with them I realized more than ever that this is an ongoing process.

Hydrocephalus isn't going to go away. Luccio will have it and have to deal with it for the rest of his life. It makes me sad because I don't want him to think that there are limitations placed on him because of it or to struggle in anyway. I want to bubble wrap him and homeschool him so he won't have to deal with insensitive teachers or students! Not logical I know.

Right around Luccio's 3rd birthday, anxiety over him starting preschool was getting me down. I was worried about all that would be out of my control and all that could and would affect him during his school days. After a good cry and a long talk with my brother, I decided to take action! I become more educated about Luccio's rights and needs. We signed him up for school and give each year's teachers the benefit of the doubt. We prepared information for them so they became familiar with Hydrocephalus. And as a family we will educate our loved ones and those involved in Luccio's life as needed. We try to not only hope for the best, we expect it!! We will be his advocates, we will see to it that his needs are met and that he reaches his fullest potential. We will pray that God continues to bless him and our family! And we will pray for his teachers too because I pity the first one that isn't up to par.

And of course, homeschooling is always a great back-up plan, and maybe the bubble wrap too!!

And in the meantime, we have teamed up with the Hydrocephalus Association and we are going to WALK for awareness and pray to someday find a cure! We are so very blessed with generous family and friends that are helping us so much along the way!!!

Cenzissimo

Vincenzo is a talker. He talks from the minute his eyes open in the morning. The only breaks he takes from talking is his nap and when he passes out from sheer exhaustion at night. He has a wide variety of vocabulary and different accents depending on his mood. I can't help laughing at some of his unique pronunciations and phrases!

Some of my favorites include:

~The Hoard- as in: "Hail Mary, The Hoard is with Thee" ~Winnie- as in "My name is not Winnie, it's Wincenzo"

~Kajamas- as in "I need to put my kajamas on for bedtime."

~Uccio- as in "This is my brother Uccio, we are twins."

~Tawget- as in "Tawget is the best store."

~Actually- this is his "Word of the Week." It can be used in several phrases, but his most popular is: "Actually we can get that at Tawget." (see above)

Another prominent Cenzo Phrase is: "I have to tell you something." And let me tell you, when you hear that phrase, you know it won't be a short story!

He remembers everything and he will use it against you, so be warned!!

He is a rule follower and expects that everyone else will be too. And he does not mind telling the rules to those around him, even if they didn't ask or do not want to know.

But, most of all he is a loving, kind, intelligent and sensitive little boy. He takes in the world around him, internalizes everything and makes it a part of his schema for future reference. And at the end of the day when all is SAID and done, my most favorite words in the world are,

"I love you Mama. You are my best Mama ever."

Mama Cenzo Day

Over the weekend Hubby took Luccio to see his first Yankees Game in NY! They took the train and everything!! Very exciting experience for The Bear! And since it was Cenzo's Special Day with me, I let him choose what he wanted to do. I told him we could go to a museum, amusement park, anywhere at all. And he chose to go to Target and The Shrine. Target is his most favorite place on Earth. He constantly tells us, "you can get that at Target." Or "This is a nice store, but it's nice as good as Target." So off to Target we went. He wanted a specific toy that he had seen on one of our previous trips. A horse trailer for mini horses. Unfortunately the first Target we went to had sold out of them. So we went in search of another Target a few towns over and found the trailer!! And several horses! Next, we went to the Shrine with Stregga. It is a special place for me and I enjoy the Peace and quiet of it as I have previously blogged. Well, Cenzo really enjoys going there too. He says he likes the quiet. But, I think he also likes the yummy cookies at the snack bar and shopping in the gift shop. Everyone was delighted to see him and gave him special attention and treats. We spent a couple hours wondering the grounds & visiting with some friends. We lit candles and said some prayers. We looked for frogs and listened to Nature. It was truly a beautiful day!! It probably wasn't as exciting as a train ride to NYC! But, it was perfect for our Mama Cenzo Day!

Special Day

My mom, aka Stregga, has started taking the boys individually for "Special Day" once a week. It's wonderful! They love the one one attention they get at Stregga's and I get to spend some alone time with the one who stays home.

Stregga and Cenzo began special days sometime last year while Luccio was taking a gym class with Mama as part of his physical therapy sessions. We took a break when schedules changed in the summer and fall however. And the change in routine was obvious. Vincenzo was getting very clingy and crying a lot when I left him. And Luccio had less and less opportunities to talk and play without being overshadowed by his brother who is clearly "the Alpha."

So, recently Stregga reinstated Special Day! She took Cenzo to her house one Tuesday and he spent the day playing, eating and even napping for 3 hours!! He loves it because he gets to sleep in Stregga's big bed! He didn't want to leave! Finally at bedtime Hubby went to get him.
He talked on and on about his special day! Just repeating the same phrases over and over! When I asked him what his favorite part was, he said "Night-night Stregga house."

It's amazing how much they love the little things in life!

The first time, Luccio was crying when Cenzo got to go for Special Day and he had to stay behind with Mama. It nearly broke Stregga's heart, but I convinced her he would be ok and we drove off with him howling a sad, sad song! He quickly cheered up when I took him to Barnes and Noble to play with the train set. Then we shared a snack in the cafe. He took a long nap and when he woke up he sat for on my lap for 2 hours under a blanket watching TV and reading our books! It was glorious snuggle time!

The day went so well that Stregga (and Cenzo!) decided it needed to be a regular thing. I loved the idea and so began the weekly Special Days. Luccio had his turn one week and Stregga said he was just content quietly playing with the train set and walking around checking everything out. He also loved that Papa was home to wrestle with him! He was so tired out that he went straight to bed when he got home at 7 pm and slept until almost 9 the next morning, a record for The Bear!!!

Cenzo likes Special Days and often wants to go more than once a week. But, he knows Tuesday is usually his day. Yesterday he didn't have his day because of the Inauguration and he certainly let us know that he was not pleased! So as soon as woke up today he wanted to get dressed and call Stregga for a special day. I convinced him to wait until after 8 am!

As we were getting ready to drive him to Stregga's he told me to "leave Lucci home." I explained that we needed to take Luccio with us because he was too little to stay home alone, but he was adamant that "I stay Stregga house." His point was clear, it was his day. Even if he was confused and saying its Tuesday, he knew he wanted his time away! He really gets it. He backs up his back pack with his blanket "Fluffy" and Baby Mickey and off he goes.

The boys spend pretty much every waking moment of their twin existence together, sharing time, attention, toys and clothes. So it's wonderful for them and for me to have this opportunity to get time with them alone. It's always great to see who they are and what they will do on their own. Cenzo narrates the day as we go and loves to read his books and do arts and crafts. Luccio "talks" a bit more when he gets that time to show me all his toys and is very content snuggling.

They always miss each other by the end of the day. Last week, Cenzo told me he wanted to "go get Lucci Bear" from Stregga's and they held hands across the back seat of the car on the ride home! Absence does make the heart grow fonder! It also helps the boys develop confidence, that they are ok away from Mama and away from one another. And it's always great to be back home together again!

Oh, Wubba

As soon as Luccio was whisked from the womb and brought into the NICU they put him on a ventilator and a pacifier. And so began a beautiful relationship of Luccio and his "Wubba."

OK, they waited a couple days until the vent came out and was on CPAP and then they gave him the Beloved Wubba, but still it's been with him for awhile now.

For the first 5 months of life, Luccio had the plain green Soothie that is standard in many hospitals. It was the only type of pacifier he would take and he wanted it constantly. Since he was a twin and both boys were "high maintenance" preemies, I welcomed the quiet that the pacifier brought. And I heard it helped prevent SIDS, so I used that as a great excuse for a bad habit I was helping him form!

As Lucc grew, we quickly realized the pacifier was causing us to lose sleep. It fell out repeatedly at night and he would scream until Hubby or I would find it for him, UGH! Not fun! We knew we needed to do something about it. But, he was only 3 months old and no where near ready to give it up. My cousin's son was hooked on one too and she had found something called a Wubba Nub. Its a Soothie with a stuffed animal attached to it to weigh it down. Perfect for such incidents as late night drama. A Wubba would be our answer I just knew. I embarked on a mission to find one. As with all good things, Wubbas were hard to come by. They were sold out online and only one local store carried them. I was put on a wait list (I kid you not!) At one point we were so desperate for sleep that Hubby found a Wubba on Ebay going for $40 and actually thought that sounded like a good bargain! Luckily, the local Wubba shipment came in before we needed to get drastic. So we bought the $10 Wubbas (actually we bought 4, but still...) We got the Red Dog, Green Frog, Blue Horse and Yellow Duck.

We started with Red Wubba. It quickly developed a stinkiness that Luccio loved. No matter how much washing Wubba gets he never loses his scent. When Luccio went to the hospital for his first surgery at 5 months old, Wubba went with. From the operating room to recovery Wubba was with him and so the relationship was cemented. After that, we never went anywhere without Wubba. He was Luccio's faithful companion through the next 4 surgeries too. We had heard that children's' "Lovies" can help them get through challenging times like illness or hospitalizations. In my Expert Mama opinion I would say its true! Luccio healed quickly and was always back on his little feet in no time. Wubba provided constant comfort through good times and bad.

At some point the stink of Red Wubba was too much for us and we tried to replace him with Green Wubba. That didn't go over well. Luccio wasn't having it. So Green floated around the house for awhile unnoticed or cared for. We got to a day where we had to stop letting RED out of the house after a scare where Hubby had taken the boys for a walk and Wubba was lost on route. After driving the 3 mile route several times Wubba was recovered! But, we had to keep better watch on him for the sake of everyone's precious sleep. So we insisted Green be the "traveling Wubba."

Luccio started feeling more love for Green as time went on and eventually adopted him in. Not instead of Red, but in addition too. So now he puts one in his mouth and holds the other one. At night, he has to have BOTH!! There was a short time where he also had Yellow Duck, long story that included a bath for Red. So for a brief period he had 3 Wubbas trailing around with him, but we nipped that one in the bud and narrowed it down to just 2. We do have standards after all!

It has become increasing more bothersome to keep track of Wubbas. And it is downright annoying to hear him talk with Wubba in his mouth, UGH! It was just this reason that has finally prompted some Wubba Boundaries to be set in place. As of Monday, the rule is the Wubbas have so stay in Luccio's bed. They cannot accompany him throughout the day. If we do take one in the car, it has to stay in the car.

So, needless to say, Luccio has been spending more time in his bed this week!! Stubborn little guy! However, when he does finally get up, he leaves Wubba (after saying goodbye about 100 times!) Small steps, right?

Pee break, who's gotta go??

So today we ventured out in the snow to go to Toddler Gym Class. Not smart, but a better alternative to staying home all day with two busy boys who needed to burn off energy!
It was an interesting day...

It started with trying to get out the front door, literally. The walkway wasn't shoveled and Cenzo was worried that it was "too slippy" to walk on. So he refused! And Luccio followed suit. We were in the middle of a stand off with me at the bottom of the stairs trying to coax them down and the boys at the top of the stairs shouting "NO, too slippy!" Luckily, our neighbor Liz took pity on us. She came running over with her shovel and cleared the walkway and then carried Cenzo to the car for me. What a Saint that woman is!! She always shows up at just the right moment.

So we made it to the car and off our street and the roads were fine. Apparently the plow trucks only skip our road. We arrived safely to Gym Class. It was my first time in weeks taking the boys there alone. Usually I beg my mom to come or the boys Physical Therapist comes with us (basically because she gets paid too.)

I was just a smidge smug about the fact that we made it from the car into the building and up the stairs without incident. I was ALMOST feeling relaxed and in control. And then I walked into the gym and found Cenzo at the top of the climbing station peeing a stream down onto the floor. It was spraying like a fountain!!

I didn't know what to do first. There was a crowd of moms and kids standing around, great! I didn't want to scare Cenzo by screaming "STOP!!!!." So instead I picked him up, soaking wet pants and all and moved him to a safer spot. Then I attempted to soak up the puddle with tissues, which obviously wasn't effective. Thankfully, the teacher came over and assisted me. She said to get Cenz into the bathroom and change him and she would clean the mess. She even had spare pants. She is such a professional!!

So within minutes a Pull-Up and clean pants were on Cenzo and he was back to playing and Ms Colleen had cleaned and sanitized the play area and life was good again! I was mortified and apologizing profusely to Cenzo and Ms. Colleen, but neither was fazed my the incident. Wisely, Ms. Colleen informed me this isn't the first accident of its kind and surely won't be the last.

So, lessons learned:
1.) Do NOT put a newly training 2 year old in underwear for gym class- use a Pull-Up
2.) ALWAYS carry spare pants!!!
3.) Do not overreact, it's only pee!
4.) The other moms do not care if pee has gotten onto the toys and mats, they just want to know how to get their kids interested in potty training and wearing underwear too!

Gym Class has been such a learning experience for the boys and I. It is a wonderful group of moms and kids. The boys are able to safely explore. And I am able to be comfortable enough to learn life lessons without feeling like the World's Dumbest Mama.

Prospective PreSchools...

Somehow my babies have turned two! I can't explain how fast the time went by. But, its gone! And believe it or not once babies turn 2 they become toddlers. They start talking back to their Mama and wanting to do everything "self" as I have been told countless times! Some of them even potting train without permission! Its enough to make a mother crazy. I want to freeze them in a time capsule and protect them from the world. But, instead I have now been informed that I need to register them for preschool!! OMG!! School!!! Already!

Apparently it's time. They will be 3 in September, so it's time. And registration has already begun. Some schools are booked already for the fall session. Its a whole new world, LOL!

So... we are visiting preschools and interviewing teachers. For toddlers! Its crazy how many things there are to think of. Luckily I have help. The boys are in Birth to Three so their Service Coordinator accompanied me to one of the schools yesterday. She knew all the questions to ask-how many students in the class, how many teacher/adults in each room, what services are provided, etc, etc.

Today we went to a little nursery school in town. My mom came along to help wrangle the boys. It is the nursery school that I went to as a child. I must say I hated preschool as a child. I screamed EVERY day of it for 2 years. But, being back there today I can't imagine why I didn't like it. The room was big, bright, comfortable and loaded with toys!! I don't remember it looking like that at all. I guess its been renovated in the past 30 years, LOL!

I was expecting my boys to act shy and cling to me-perhaps scream and cry if I put them down (as I did to my poor mom so long ago!) But, no my little guys walked in like they owned the place. They said hello to the teacher and started immediately playing with toys. They went up to the kids and said hello and played and basically had a ball! I was so relieved and happy!!

I feel like the school was a good fit. The staff was amazing! It was Pajama Day so everyone including the teachers were wearing PJs! It so was cute! The boys enjoyed free play, but were less excited about Circle Time. Cenzo participated for a while, but Lucc flat out refused to stop playing with the toys. The teacher said it was fine-he was a visitor after all. I can only imagine her trying to wrangle him in Sept. He is little, but tough!

Which brings me to my biggest worry-how will my babies adjust to school?? Or maybe the question is - How will I adjust to my babies going to school?? We will see! For now I will be satisfied to have at least found the school to send them too, LOL!!