I had been thinking a lot about the kind of person I would want to spend my life with. I made vision board collages and did guided meditation to call in the One. I planned to manifest Him out of thin air. But, I just met wacko after wacko. Often I would say to myself... if I am ever going to find a decent guy, God will have to bring him to my front door...and one day He did!
My new Neighbor just showed up on my lawn last summer. He introduced himself on moving day. It was funny because he has the same name as Oz and I have the same name as his ex. I thought, wow Serendipity!
I went on vacation right after that and didn't think of it again for a couple weeks. Then one night I was home alone and remembered it was Garbage Night. It was a very hot, extremely humid evening and I already had my onesie romper on. I luckily remembered to put a bra on before heading outside.
I went to get the garbage out and realized that the kids must not have put recycling out for MONTHS!! There were a ton of boxes in the garage. I was soooo pissed!! I couldn't find a box cutter so I started just ripping them to shreds and swearing under my breath as I sweated buckets.
Then, I hear someone say, "Hey Neighbor what are you up to?"
Oh. My. God.
I was thinking...shit!! Please tell me that is NOT my new cute Neighbor standing behind me while I wear my onesie gross outfit and have the frizziest hair of the summer.
I turned around, sweating. Yup it was him. My mom used to say "You will never meet anyone just hanging around in your pajamas." Well...guess she was wrong for once!
He took out a utility knife and started helping me cut boxes.
We started talking, laughing, debating politics and getting to know each other. After the recycling mess was taken care of we sat on lawn chairs in my yard and talked for a long time. Then we drank some margaritas and talked for a couple more hours.
He was funny and friendly and conversation just flowed. I felt like I had known him forever.
Since he had the same name as Oz. I was convinced it really was Serendipity. I thought maybe the Universe had been confused all those years ago and this was Oz 2.0!
A relaxing, fun summer of friendship turned into a Fall of more talking and even some hiking.
We would stop by each others' houses and talk and talk. It felt like when I grew up next door to my best friend Steph. It was fantastic!
Easy going, endless conversation, lots of laughing.
He was cute. Really cute. He was honest and funny and stable. I felt like I had legit Manifested him into my life. But, I couldn't tell if he was interested in more than a friendship. Everyone said he would never spend so much time with me if he wasn't interested. The idea of the potential was enticing.
Then one night he asked me if I wanted to go see a band at my favorite Pub . Of course I did!
We danced a little, talked a lot and drank until I threw up.
And we tried to turn it into a relationship...
At first it seemed like everything I had hoped for. Fun, great conversation, interesting dates, relaxed and easy going. We live in a great Neighborhood for dating. Breakfast at the diner, dinner at one of the Italian restaurants. Everything is in walking distance. And since everyone in the neighborhood knows us, it gives new meaning to Walk of Shame.
But, after a few weeks it changed. We started to have expectations of each other. He started calling me his girlfriend. I haven't had a "boyfriend" since I met Oz in 2002. I've dated. I have developed relationships. But, a "boyfriend" seemed different. I didn't think that really existed anymore. So I was surprised. It was nice.
It was an interesting adjustment with his name being the same as Oz. My name has been said in combo with Oz's since 2002 so it was funny to hear that combo and it be someone else. Lots of jokes were made. The kids thought it was funny. My mom refused to call him by his first name as it was too confusing so instead she started calling him Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, then Mr. Rogers and eventually just Roger. One friend referred him as Oz 2.0. I just call him Neighbor for simplicity.
Dating a Neighbor erases ANY facade you might put up pretty quick. They see you taking out the trash and wearing jammies outdoors sometimes.
They hear you yelling at your kids. I'd yell at everyone, then get a text saying, "hey did you get those kids in line yet?"
They see you without make up and undone. It makes it more comfortable and easier to get to know each other. It reminded me of when I lived in a college dorm. You bonded fast and furious with the people you met in the lounge at 2 am. You live together in the same environment. You get each other in a way that no one else does.
But, the relationship expectations were our undoing... who would call and when and how often would we see each other? We live right next door and we were used to popping over to each others' place whenever, but that stopped. A boundary went up. Walls were built.
The conversation didn't seem to flow as easily. One of us was always taking comments personally and what seemed like fun banter began to offend us both in different ways. We started questioning intentions and motives.
We broke up once for 3 hours. But, then I thought...wait...the Universe sent him ... it was Divine Intervention..Serendipity...and so we tried again and never spoke of the 3 hour break up.
We were together for a few months and it was fun...until it wasn't.
But, I had MANIFESTED him! Surely God had brought him to my front door for a reason. So if it seemed like we weren't the right fit it HAD to be a misunderstanding right?
Well.....it didn't last. We eventually found that the things that make us who we each are didn't fit quite right together.
In the end, it was another lesson learned.
