Monday, May 24, 2010

Life Force Energy

There is something about a new baby, a new life, a new chance to start again that inspires me to be my best self. My daughter turned 7 months old this weekend and my mind can't seem to accept it. She is still a tiny newborn in my mind, still 2 weeks old. I feel like we just brought her home from the hospital. Yet, at the same time I know her so much better now. She is a sweet, gentle baby. She is so content and happy, she delights in watching her brothers antics and laughs with glee at their silliness. She is their best audience! She waits for her Daddy to arrive home and squeals and coos to greet him! And she is my baby doll for sure. She sees me walk into her room and her eyes light up and her whole body moves with an amazing energy. She laughs, knowing I am going to scoop her up and kiss her chubby cheeks! Every time I see her sit up on her own, reach for toys, roll over, get ready to crawl, I am impressed with her strength. She really demonstrated that strength when she took Luccio's glasses right off his face!! I think that was the "ah-ha" moment where we all realized the mushy newborn is gone and in her places is a baby girl absorbing everything about her world.

I think because I had the twins first, I am relishing Isabella's babyhood in a way that I would not have appreciated without that experience of raising two babies simultaneously. With Isabella it is so different because I can sit and nurse her and not feel rushed that another baby is screaming for food or I can hold her and cuddle and not feel like someone else isn't getting their fair share of snuggles. And when the boys are at school or sleeping, I have time with her that is just us. Quiet moments to see her play and appreciate her for the baby that she is. I don't have the same anxiety of questioning when and if she will walk, talk, dance, read, etc. I feel like I can just enjoy her because I know she will do it all and on her own time. In fact, I have tried to keep her a tiny newborn for as long as possible and she has hit all the milestones despite me, LOL!

As my Princess is growing I have really been reflecting on what it means to be a woman and to raise a woman in our society. I feel like I want to strive to be the best person I am capable of being and reach my fullest potential in all I do while at the same time balancing that with a sense of contentment and appreciation for the life I have. No small feat for sure!! Especially when sleep deprived for 7 months, LOL!!

At the end of the day I know I can always do better. And with 3 kids I feel like I am always trying to catch up on something, the laundry piles, the dishes, the yard work, the paperwork, bills, grocery shopping, nose wiping, diaper changing, meal making, snuggles, etc. There is always something I have forgotten or didn't do well.

I often have to stop and remind myself of the mantra that my good friend, Father Bob, once told me, "You have enough, you do enough, you ARE enough."

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