Sunday, March 2, 2014

Deal Breakers

I was out with a friend when a recently divorced guy started chatting with us. Being back on the dating scene he wanted advice on what women consider deal breakers. Always willing to give our opinions we told him to bring it. (We did however remind him that there are several billion women on the planet and that contrary to popular belief - we are NOT all the same. So he may get different answers depending on who he asks.)
Here goes…
What if a guy smokes?  Deal breaker.
What if he is trying to quit?   Deal breaker. We know you will always be "trying" to quit.
What if he drinks? Social drinking is ok. Don't be sloppy!
What about drugs? Deal breaker.
What if a guy does not have a job? Deal breaker. Unless he is terminally ill or a Stay-at-Home dad.
What if he has a job, but hates it?  Grow a pair and get a new job.
What if he has children? No problem. If they have a mother to take care of them, even better.
What if he wants children? Depends on the circumstances and his answers to the questions above!
What if he is broke because his ex-wife cleaned his clock in court?  Good for your ex-wife!  Just be sure you have enough money to buy dinner and flowers occasionally. And chocolate martinis.
What if a guy walks up to you and says he wants to fuck you? You might want to work on your game.
What if the guy is into other dudes sometimes?

And end scene.
Seriously cannot make this shit up.
My next book is going to be called
Single Life: Stories from the Trenches.

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