Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Happy Heart

The big question people have been asking since I had Isabella is, "How are the boys adjusting to life as big brothers?" It's a good question. On a day to day basis things are too hectic to analyze such things. But, when someone asks me I have to pause for a moment and reflect. The other day I took Isabella to the pediatrician and she asked me about the boys too. My automatic response is, "they are great big brothers." But, how are they really feeling about their new sister?? I try to use their actions as interpretation of their feelings. They love to help feed and bathe her. They play with her and are so proud of themselves when she gives them smiles!! Every morning they wake up and immediately ask where she is. They are helpful when I need them to get something for me while I am feeding her. Every time I put a new outfit on her we do a fashion show and they ooh and ahh over her adorable little clothes and headbands.

I feel like the boys are pretty aware that Mama and Daddy can love more than one child completely and unconditionally 100% . They have shared our attention and love since before they were even born. They have never known what it is to be the one and only in our house. They get special days with one on one attention, but its not the same thing. I think they were prepared for the concept of each child is loved in a separate but equal way. They have different personalities and interests and dynamics. And Isabella is another beautiful piece of our family puzzle, it fits.

But, the seed of doubt is always in the back of my mind. Is jealousy lurking under the surface? Am I missing something? Are they feeling neglected? Do they feel replaced?? I heard Cenzo tell my cousin that "babies cry all the time, especially at night." And one day we were at the store and he said, "You always buy things for Isabella Angelina." It wasn't in anger or nastiness. He wasn't asking me to buy him anything. It was just a statement, like he observed and noticed it and commented on it. But, it got my attention is a way that felt unnerving. The doubt rose to the surface.

Then the other day, I got some reassuring feedback from the boys in a moment with their sister. They were taking turns holding her and Luccio was saying, "I love her." He was rubbing her head and saying, "I love you baby sister. You are OK. We are right here."
Then Cenzo said, "I want more baby sisters. That would make my heart happy."

That made MY heart happy!

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