The Scent

How much does scent matter in romance? I have wondered this over the last few years as I have dated since divorcing. My mom has a theory that certain people have "The Scent." We used to tease my aunt that she had it because men would swarm around her.  We did not think she had an actual scent, but men seemed especially attracted to her. Could have been her blond hair and blue eyes?

But, some people do seem to have an ACTUAL scent that is particularly attractive to others.

I have encountered 4 men over the years that have "The Scent" that I find inexplicably attractive in a way that is intoxicating.  The first time was T. in High School.  I loved his scent. One day I came home from school and said, "is T. here? I smell him."  He had been at my house while I was out and surprised me by leaving flowers and balloons.  Everyone felt like my sense of smell ruined his surprise.

Another time The Scent hit me was when I was in college. I was sitting in the lobby of my dorm when College Guy walked by and The Scent hit me like a brick to my head. I lost all sensibility and fell for him immediately. That crush lasted longer than it should have and I am fully convinced it was because of The Scent of him.  It wasn't his Joop cologne- although I loved that smell too- but it was his skin. His neck has this scent that I felt drunk from.

Oz didn't have The Scent. I stayed much more clear headed as I delved into marriage and family.
I bought him colognes and we finally both agreed on Ralph Lauren's Romance for Men. It was a nice smell, but it wasn't The Scent.  I think I was better able to navigate life when I wasn't caught up in the smell.

I did realize after we separated that although he didn't have THE Scent, he had A Scent. One that I was used to and found comforting. So I confiscated one of his shirts and slept with it under my pillow until I was able to get used to falling asleep on my own.

Up until that point, the two times I had experienced the rush of attraction to The Scent had seemed harmless. I was young and it didn't matter as much who I found attractive or why.
But, after divorcing I realized there was a  link between "The Scent" and toxic people/relationships.

I encountered Deli Guy. He worked at a place that I took refuge in when I needed somewhere to hide while Oz visited the kids in the beginning. Deli Guy was cute and friendly and after awhile we began dating. It was a disaster on so many levels.  I knew it a couple weeks in, but stayed with him for a few more months because he had The Scent. I couldn't get enough of him.

I dated a few other guys at that time because I knew Deli Guy was not The One.

But, shortly after that,  I met...The Wild One.  I felt a magnetic attraction immediately and when I got closer to him I picked up The Scent.  Stronger than I had ever smelt it or felt it.  All logic and rational thought was out the window.  Gone.   Years of toxicity and drama ensued.  Even when I was done, I wasn't.  If he stepped past the front door and I smelled The Scent it was over.

It's not cologne, its not laundry detergent. It is unexplainable.
Something just clicks in my brain and my judgment takes flight.

One man recently did not have any scent at all. Or at least I didn't think so.  My kids thought he did. They would say I smelled like him or his house.  My friend thought he did and randomly commented on it. She thought it was his laundry detergent.  I was shocked! I don't smell a scent. Nothing at all.

My friend suggested maybe that was to protect me. Like maybe my brain knows not to create a bond because this guy wasn't sticking around? Maybe it's a built in defense mechanism to shut off my sense of smell? Or maybe it is a chemical in my brain that didn't connect with his scent?
Or maybe I was able to see his genuine qualities more clearly and appreciate them without the fogginess of The Scent.

Hmmmmm....

Got me wondering...does everyone experience The Scent at one point or another?  Does it always mean toxic bonds? Has anyone ever known their partner was The One by their scent? Does Prince Charming have a scent?

Inquiring minds want to know...